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  • This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4
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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Saved By The Buff Belle

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: In this case, the cashier has made an error and given the customer the wrong item. However, it doesn’t justify what transpires next…)

    Customer: “I did NOT order this salad, you stupid bimbo!”

    (The customer throws the salad right at the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Customer: “I did NOT order a f***ing salad!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was my mistake.”

    Customer: “I want my entire order free!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but it does not work that way. I sincerely apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “I want my food free!”

    (The customer throws the rest of his food at the cashier, hitting another cashier who has stepped over to help wipe the mess. The manager, who has seen everything happen, speaks up.)

    Manager: “Sir, you do not do that to my employees. I’m going to have to ask you to pay not just for your order, but the salad that you have now ruined.”

    Customer: “Who are you, and what gives you the right to demand that?!”

    Manager: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. You’re a woman!”

    Manager: “I assure you, I am. This is my name tag.”

    (The manager presents her name tag, which says “Robin.”)

    Customer: “You stole that off your real manager, a man! Females spell it R-O-B-Y-N!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry if it’s confusing, but I am the manager, and that is how my name is spelled. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask you to pay for the food you threw and apologize.”

    Customer: “I want my food free! That’s it!”

    (Suddenly, a short but very muscular woman shows up and drags the customer from the counter to a wall. She is a customer who has also been watching the commotion.)

    Woman: *to the customer* “You, pay up, or you’ll have ME to deal with!”

    Customer: “Um, okay! Okay!” *pays and leaves immediately*

    (The woman who saved the day? She got a free meal!)

    A-moooo-sing Customers, Part 2

    | France | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (We’re located in a small village in a rural area, but each year, we have plenty of foreign tourists. I’m the only person fluent in english at the office. One day, a family of tourists (a father, a mother and their teenage son and daughter) walk in.)

    Father: *in French* “Hello, sir. Can you help me to find how to go to a few places? I can’t find them on my map.”

    Me: *in French* “Sure, let me show you. May I see your map?”

    (As I show the father directions on his map, I see the kids giggling and chatting in English in the back. They’re making fun of my coworker.)

    Daughter: *in English* “God, this guy looks so stupid!”

    Son: *in English* “Totally! Look at his eyes! It totally looks like a cow’s eyes!”

    Daughter: *in English* “And look at his hair! Soooo dorky!”

    (The father says nothing, despite clearly hearing them.)

    Father: *in French* “Alright, I think I got it. Thank you for your time.”

    Me: “Mooooooooooooooo!”

    Father: *in French* “What are you doing?!”

    Me: *grinning, in English* “That’s the cow word for ‘Have a nice day.’”

    (The parents and their two children stay stunned for a second. Then, both parents start to laugh and the kids turn cherry red.)

    Mother: *laughing, in English* “Weren’t expecting that now, you two?”

    (Embarrassed, the kids try to leave, but the parents grab them both by their shoulders.)

    Son: *in English* “Let me go, Dad!”

    Father: *still laughing, in English* “We’re not leaving until both of you apologize to this man!”

    (The parents refused to move or let them go until I received an apology from both kids. The whole family left, the parents still joking and the kids almost running away.)

    Related:
    A-moooo-sing Customers

    Taking Stupidity To New Heights, Part 2

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry

    (I’m just over 6 feet tall and female. I regularly get very obnoxious questions/remarks about how tall I am, but this is by far the worst. I’ve just finished helping a customer select some products.)

    Me: “If you have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to ask!”

    Customer: “Actually, I do have one question… how tall are you?”

    Me: “Just over six feet.”

    Customer: “Oh my god. I just feel absolutely terrible for you. Your life must be incredibly difficult.”

    Me: “Um… no. I pretty much function just like everybody else.”

    Customer: “No way. I thought I had it bad! I’m 5 feet 7 inches and I can’t find a boyfriend because of how tall I am! Do you even date at all? Or are all of the guys half your size?”

    Me: “Well… I have dated guys a few inches shorter than me. It doesn’t bother me, though.”

    Customer: “That’s just insane. I’ll bet you don’t wear heels either, right? I can’t wear them because I look like a f***ing amazon! You’d probably just look like a freak!”

    Me: “Well, I’ve worn heels before. I just prefer not to, because I don’t find them very comfortable.”

    Customer: “I’ll bet you don’t! You probably look ridiculous!”

    Related:
    Taking Stupidity To New Heights

    Cardiac Unrest

    | Arizona, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I work in an ER and I am checking in a patient who needs a cardiac procedure.)

    Patient: “You have an accent. Where are you from?”

    Me: “South Africa.”

    Patient: *disgusted* “South AFRICA? Oh, well I’m sure they wouldn’t have hired you unless you were properly educated.”

    Me: “I assure you, I have a good education. The cardiologist will be in to see you shortly.”

    (As I’m walking out, the cardiologist walks in and introduces himself to the patient.)

    Patient: “Oh, you have an accent, too. Where are you from?”

    Doctor: “South Africa.”

    Patient: *horrified*

    From The Odd Couple To The Applauded Couple

    | Canberra, Australia | Bigotry, Top

    (I am working the day shift at our grocery store. I’m almost always working with the same two coworkers: Coworker #2 is a great, if manically excitable actor, while Coworker #1 is a very flamboyant gay who usually styles up his uniform. The customers love them, since they’re best friends and spend most of their time bantering back and forth like an odd couple. On this day, a man and a woman, both clearly tourists, walk over to the counter.)

    Man: *to Coworker #1* “Hey there! We were just wondering if you keep any good brandy in stock?”

    Coworker #1: “You are in luck, sir! What takes your fancy?”

    (From the moment he speaks, the man’s face goes from a friendly smile, to a grimace, to a particularly vicious glare.)

    Man: “OH. MY. GOD!”

    Coworker #1: *concerned* “What’s the matter, sir?”

    Man: “Are you a f**?! Oh my God, they’ve got a f** working the counter!”

    Woman: “You should be ashamed of yourself! There are children here!”

    (I won’t write out in full what they said, but the man and woman start screaming expletives at him, and accuse him of everything from raising the prices to poisoning the cigars. It’s all very bigoted and disgusting, and the other customers present are horrified while Coworker #1 is almost in tears. Suddenly, Coworker #2, who has just come out of the back, hears this and pushes through the crowd.)

    Coworker #2: “Excuse me, folks?”

    Woman: “Oh finally, a God-fearing man! Can you please get that f** out of our sight?!”

    (Coworker #2 is straight, but he pushes the man aside and grabs Coworker #1 in a tender embrace.)

    Coworker #2: “Actually, I was going to ask you to get out. But when in Canberra…”

    (In front of the whole store, Coworker #2 sweeps Coworker #1 into an overly dramatic, passionate kiss right on the lips. In abject terror, the couple flees the store. The other customers in the store break out in applause.)

    Man: “This is DISGUSTING!” *flees out of the store with his wife*

    Coworker #1: *breaks out into a huge grin* “Speak for yourself!”


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