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  • Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Hospitality Is Going South

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [restaurant]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I have some questions about a party coming in next week.”

    (I pull up our reservation book and review the information with the guest. She is very agitated, and makes a request that we are unable to take care of.)

    Me: “No ma’am. I’m afraid we have no way to do that. If you—”

    Customer: “How dare you! Don’t talk to me that way! I know exactly what you are doing! I hate it when you Southerners use ‘ma’am’! Don’t think I don’t know what you mean!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I am so f***ing sick of your fake southern bulls***! I moved down here with my husband. He’s from here and I’m not. I’m so sick of you people calling me ‘ma’am’! I know that you aren’t really being polite, you’re being ugly to me and trying to pretend it’s polite so I won’t know what you’re f***ing doing! But I’m not a f***ing idiot. You are the rudest b**** I’ve ever met, you and all you other southern b*****s. F*** you!”

    (She hangs up and I am left thinking how sad her husband’s life must be. 15 minutes later, I get a phone call from the same woman.)

    Customer: *sheepishly* “I’m sorry. My husband heard the whole thing and demanded I apologize. He told me everyone in the South uses ‘ma’am’, and it’s just good manners. I just moved here with him and I can’t make any friends!”

    Good Men Are Rare

    | Cambridge, England, UK | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am a waitress at a high end chain of worldwide hotels. It is an extremely busy dinner shift. I am serving an obviously rich man, with who appears to be with a new girlfriend.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir, madam. Are you ready to order?”

    Male Customer: *showing off* “I want a steak, and I want it how the animals eat it. None of this namby-pamby cookery stuff. Just cave-man style, you know?” *he indicates the woman* “Oh, and just fetch her a salad, or something equally low-calorie. I don’t want her all bloated, if you know what I mean!?” *laughs in a creepy way*

    Me: “Erm, okay, sir. So, one blue steak and a house salad.”

    Male Customer: “That’s what I said wasn’t it? God, do they employ idiots here? And fetch me a bottle of your really good champagne; not the cheap stuff you give to the general public.”

    (I have already realized by this point he is going to be a painful customer, and feel sympathetic to his girlfriend, who is clearly embarrassed. I return with the steak and salad, and after his first mouthful I can hear him shouting across the restaurant).

    Male Customer: “Are you trying to kill me? Give me Mad Cow disease?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What appears to be the problem?”

    Male Customer: “My steak is bleeding! And cold in the middle! You’re trying to make me ill, and then charge me a ridiculous amount for it!”

    Me: “That is a blue steak. Simply lightly seared on the outside, whilst mainly raw in the middle ‘like the animals would have it.’ I assure you it’s perfectly fine to eat!”

    Customer: “I am a human being, not a dog! My food needs to be cooked! I will take you to court if I get food poisoning!

    (Luckily at this point my manager steps in to calm him down, as he is talking about suing the hotel. Later in the bar, I serve the girlfriend who is now alone. She thanks me for opening her eyes to what a jerk he is and tips me £20, and buys me a drink!)

    Free Reality Check

    | VA, USA | Bigotry

    (I am at a bank, attempting to cash my check. Two tellers are working. I get called over to the left teller while the one on the right is working with a clearly irate customer and her embarrassed teenage daughter.)

    Customer: “What do you mean there’s a five dollar service fee?”

    Teller: “Well, you don’t have an account here. For customers that don’t bank with us, we have to charge a five dollar service fee.”

    Customer: “I can just take my check to [store] and they’ll cash it for free!”

    Teller: “Actually, they will charge you a service fee as well.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is crazy! My daughter has an account here! Can she cash it?!”

    Teller: “Sure, but—”

    (The customer snatches check straight out of the teller’s hands, and slams it down in front of her daughter.)

    Customer: “Here. Sign this.”

    (The daughter signs, and the customer shoves it back in the teller’s face.)

    Teller: “Umm, she needs to sign it here. She signed it in the wrong—”

    (The customer snatches the check again, and gives it to the daughter to sign it correctly.)

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous! I cannot believe how insane you people are! I’m from New England and we all know that up North this is one of the craziest places there is, but this is just stupid!”

    (By this time I have finished cashing my check, so I turn to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “I know in New England things are crazy, but here in the South we try to be polite. I would appreciate it if you apologized to this lady here.”

    (And with that, I walked out, leaving her stammering.)

    She’s Been Placed On The Blacklist

    | Redlands, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bigotry

    (I am filling out an application at an empty register counter when I see a well-to-do looking customer screaming at one of the employees. The employee looks close to tears.)

    Customer: “Why the f*** can’t I use my coupon? I have a right to this deal. You sent it to my home! I am going to use it now. Take my freaking coupon!”

    Employee: “Ma’am, it only works on Black Friday. It is only Wednesday. It is store policy. There is nothing I can do about it.”

    Customer: “I just saw another woman use the same coupon!”

    Employee: “We sent out similar ones that work for Thanksgiving products like—”

    Customer: “Shut up! I know you are too dumb to understand what I am saying. Giving your people an education is a waste. A monkey could do this job. You n*****s have no right to be here, taking jobs from good people, like that girl right here! She is likely going to starve because you rats keep taking all the good work!”

    (The woman literally drags me over to where they are.)

    Customer: *to me* “Doesn’t it p*** you off that these blacks have their own holiday and excuse us good, Christian white folks? You need a job and I am going to get this girl fired for you!”

    Me: “Let go of me! Are you crazy? No need to be a racist b**** about it. Just because you are racist doesn’t mean she is stupid.”

    Woman: “I am not racist! This colored girl can’t do her job. She is obviously too stupid to work here. She needs to go back to Africa.”

    (At this point, a man who has been standing off to the side marches up to us.)

    Man: *to the customer* “You can leave right now. I am refusing you service.”

    Customer: “You have no right to tell me what to do!”

    Man: “I do. That employee is my wife, and my father owns this store.”

    (As he is saying this, he points up towards a camera. The woman looks up without thinking.)

    Man: “Great, now I have your face for the picture I am going to be posting on all the doors. I hope you like driving to [next town], because you are now banned from this store.”

    Customer: *sulks away, leaving her paid-for purchases*

    Man: *to me* “Would you like some free stuff?”

    Brace(let) Yourself For A Good Cause

    | Reisterstown, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (We sell rubber bracelets in different colors that say one of the following: ‘Be Brave; Be Amazing; Be Kind; Be Accepting, Be Involved; Be Yourself’. When purchased, they donate money to a foundation that prevents bullying of children in school. A mother and her 8-year-old daughter are in the store looking at the bracelets.)

    Daughter: “Mom, can I get one of these?”

    Mom: “Yeah, sure. Which one?”

    Daughter: “I’m not sure. I like all of them. They say such nice things.”

    Mom: “Yeah, they say really nice things, but I don’t like ‘Be Accepting’.”

    Daughter: “Well, why not?”

    Mom: “It sounds lame or something.”

    Me: *gives the mother a dirty look*

    Daughter: *catches on and buys the ‘Be Brave’ bracelet*

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