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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Couples Therapy

    | MA, USA | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Top

    (There was recently a vote in Minnesota whether or not to change the constitution to make same-sex marriage illegal. Voting ‘Yes’ would be for making it illegal, and vice versa for ‘No’. It should also be noted that there is already a law in place prohibiting same-sex marriage. I’m wiping tables at coffee shop. It’s been pretty slow, and I see two young women obviously in a relationship. They order their drinks, and then sit down. A young man of around 20 is sitting a little ways from them, wearing a heavy jacket. I’ve noticed several looks pass back and forth between them, until finally, one of the young women walks over to him.)

    Young Woman #1: *to the young man* “Would you please mind your own business?”

    Young Man: “I’m sorry?”

    Young Woman #1: “You’ve been glaring at us for the better part of five minutes. Is there something you’d like to say?”

    Young Man: “Oh… look, I’m sorry. It’s just that I saw you two there, and—”

    Young Woman #1: “And what? You thought I wouldn’t notice you being passive aggressive over here?”

    Young Man: “Please, I’m sorry.”

    (The young woman bends down and jostles the table, causing the young man to flinch back, shifting his jacket slightly. She smiles sweetly.)

    Young Woman #1: “See, that wasn’t so…”

    (She trails off because of what she sees: beneath the young man’s now-open jacket is a bright blue ‘VOTE NO’ t-shirt. She stands slack-jawed for a moment.)

    Young Woman #1: “I… uh…”

    Young Man: *looks down* “Oh, um, I guess that would’ve helped.”

    (The young woman stutters a few more times, then rushes back to her seat. Eventually, she comes back to apologize to the poor guy.)

    Young Woman #1: “I’m sorry about that. My girlfriend just came out to her family, and they aren’t taking it well.”

    Young Man: “It’s okay. I’ve just been through a nasty breakup myself, and seeing the two of you so happy together was pretty tough for me.”

    (After hearing this, I talk to my manager, and he lets me purchase two $25 gift cards with my employee discount, which I give to both parties. All three seemed to leave as friends.)

    Best Not To Exchange With Haters

    | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Top

    (I’m a manager. I am ringing up a woman I have sold things to before. We are making small talk as I ring her up. Note: I’m a lesbian.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe the president came out in support for gay marriage!”

    Me: “I know; kind of unbelievable!”

    Customer: “That f** lover is going to burn in hell for that!”

    Me: *biting my tongue* “Okay.”

    (I finish ringing her up and hand the customer her bags.)

    Customer: “They should round up all the gays and put them down.”

    Me: “That would be bad for me, seeing as I am a lesbian.”

    (The woman turns pale and walks out without saying a word. A few hours later, I get a call from the manager of another one of our stores. On the line, I can hear the same customer I previously sold items to ranting.)

    Manager: *also a woman* “So, this woman is here wanting to exchange a bunch of stuff from your store. When I asked her what was wrong with the items, she said you tainted them; I have no idea what she is talking about. Could you maybe clear this up for me?”

    Me: “Well, I bet it is because she found out I was gay.”

    Manager: “I see.” *starts talking in sultry voice* “Well, I’ll see you tonight for our date. You should put on that that black lace bra and panty set I got you for your birthday! I love you!” *hangs up*

    (I am very confused, seeing as I have never dated that manager, nor did she ever get me underwear, and as far as I know, she is not gay. Fast forward a few days later to the manager weekly conference call: apparently, the customer left the other store after thinking the other manager was also gay. That manager then called every other store in the area and told everyone about the customer. Over the next few days, the customer went to every store in a 20 mile radius trying to exchange the ‘tainted goods’. Everyone she talked to pretended to be gay when working with her and she left every time. To my knowledge, she never got her exchange.)

    Hospitality Is Going South

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [restaurant]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I have some questions about a party coming in next week.”

    (I pull up our reservation book and review the information with the guest. She is very agitated, and makes a request that we are unable to take care of.)

    Me: “No ma’am. I’m afraid we have no way to do that. If you—”

    Customer: “How dare you! Don’t talk to me that way! I know exactly what you are doing! I hate it when you Southerners use ‘ma’am’! Don’t think I don’t know what you mean!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “I am so f***ing sick of your fake southern bulls***! I moved down here with my husband. He’s from here and I’m not. I’m so sick of you people calling me ‘ma’am’! I know that you aren’t really being polite, you’re being ugly to me and trying to pretend it’s polite so I won’t know what you’re f***ing doing! But I’m not a f***ing idiot. You are the rudest b**** I’ve ever met, you and all you other southern b*****s. F*** you!”

    (She hangs up and I am left thinking how sad her husband’s life must be. 15 minutes later, I get a phone call from the same woman.)

    Customer: *sheepishly* “I’m sorry. My husband heard the whole thing and demanded I apologize. He told me everyone in the South uses ‘ma’am’, and it’s just good manners. I just moved here with him and I can’t make any friends!”

    Good Men Are Rare

    | Cambridge, England, UK | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am a waitress at a high end chain of worldwide hotels. It is an extremely busy dinner shift. I am serving an obviously rich man, with who appears to be with a new girlfriend.)

    Me: “Good evening, sir, madam. Are you ready to order?”

    Male Customer: *showing off* “I want a steak, and I want it how the animals eat it. None of this namby-pamby cookery stuff. Just cave-man style, you know?” *he indicates the woman* “Oh, and just fetch her a salad, or something equally low-calorie. I don’t want her all bloated, if you know what I mean!?” *laughs in a creepy way*

    Me: “Erm, okay, sir. So, one blue steak and a house salad.”

    Male Customer: “That’s what I said wasn’t it? God, do they employ idiots here? And fetch me a bottle of your really good champagne; not the cheap stuff you give to the general public.”

    (I have already realized by this point he is going to be a painful customer, and feel sympathetic to his girlfriend, who is clearly embarrassed. I return with the steak and salad, and after his first mouthful I can hear him shouting across the restaurant).

    Male Customer: “Are you trying to kill me? Give me Mad Cow disease?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What appears to be the problem?”

    Male Customer: “My steak is bleeding! And cold in the middle! You’re trying to make me ill, and then charge me a ridiculous amount for it!”

    Me: “That is a blue steak. Simply lightly seared on the outside, whilst mainly raw in the middle ‘like the animals would have it.’ I assure you it’s perfectly fine to eat!”

    Customer: “I am a human being, not a dog! My food needs to be cooked! I will take you to court if I get food poisoning!

    (Luckily at this point my manager steps in to calm him down, as he is talking about suing the hotel. Later in the bar, I serve the girlfriend who is now alone. She thanks me for opening her eyes to what a jerk he is and tips me £20, and buys me a drink!)

    Free Reality Check

    | VA, USA | Bigotry

    (I am at a bank, attempting to cash my check. Two tellers are working. I get called over to the left teller while the one on the right is working with a clearly irate customer and her embarrassed teenage daughter.)

    Customer: “What do you mean there’s a five dollar service fee?”

    Teller: “Well, you don’t have an account here. For customers that don’t bank with us, we have to charge a five dollar service fee.”

    Customer: “I can just take my check to [store] and they’ll cash it for free!”

    Teller: “Actually, they will charge you a service fee as well.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is crazy! My daughter has an account here! Can she cash it?!”

    Teller: “Sure, but—”

    (The customer snatches check straight out of the teller’s hands, and slams it down in front of her daughter.)

    Customer: “Here. Sign this.”

    (The daughter signs, and the customer shoves it back in the teller’s face.)

    Teller: “Umm, she needs to sign it here. She signed it in the wrong—”

    (The customer snatches the check again, and gives it to the daughter to sign it correctly.)

    Customer: “This is absolutely ridiculous! I cannot believe how insane you people are! I’m from New England and we all know that up North this is one of the craziest places there is, but this is just stupid!”

    (By this time I have finished cashing my check, so I turn to her.)

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “I know in New England things are crazy, but here in the South we try to be polite. I would appreciate it if you apologized to this lady here.”

    (And with that, I walked out, leaving her stammering.)

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