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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Not The Sharpest Bigot

    | AZ, USA | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m walking around the store seeing if any shoppers need help.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding everything all right today?”

    Customer: *turning* “Oh, what the f*** is this?”

    Me: “Um… what is what?”

    Customer: “I haven’t been helped by a single American since I got here. Are you people even hiring whites?”

    (Our town has a regrettably accurate reputation for being somewhat racist. Customers often ignore non-white employees or refuse their aid. I’m of Indian descent, but was born and raised a few miles away in Phoenix.)

    Me: “Sir, all our employees are American citizens. If you don’t need help, though, I’ll just go.”

    Customer: “Hang on, where’s your manager’s office?”

    (I point.)

    Customer: “Good!”

    (Without warning, he grabs my arm and drags me forcefully to the office. He pushes it open without knocking.)

    Customer: “You need to arrest this man! He’s an illegal!”

    (My manager turns in her chair. She’s got light brown skin, and is often mistaken for Hispanic.)

    Manager: “Sir, I know for a fact [my name] is a citizen. And you need to take your hands off him right now.”

    Customer: *not letting go* “Oh my God! They’ve got a Mexican in charge. No wonder you don’t hire whites!”

    Manager: “Sir, more than half of my employees are white. Now let [my name] go or I will call the police.”

    Customer: “Are you threatening me? I’m a real American, you can’t threaten me!”

    (At this he pulls out a Swiss Army knife and points it at her.)

    Manager: “No, I’m not. Would you like me to?”

    (Without warning, she draws a knife of her own from nowhere and slams it point-first into the desk.)

    Manager: “That’s one. I’m carrying nine. Let him go.”

    (The customer goes pale and releases both my arm and the knife.)

    Manager: “Thank you.”

    (Instead of letting him go, my manager locked him in the office and called the police, who came and arrested him for assault and threatening with a weapon. As they were leading him out, my manager stopped him for a moment.)

    Manager: “And by the way, I’m not Hispanic, I’m Romani. If you’re going to be a racist, at least learn the difference.”

    A Brokeback Fountain Of Hate

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bigotry

    (We have a small section of movies for the LGBT community. These are clearly labelled, and none of them are too offensive. I am a straight woman in support of the LGBT community. A customer brings up one of the LGBT movies; it shows two women in wedding dresses kissing on the cover.)

    Customer: “I demand you keep this trash behind the counter!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is a whole section dedicated to this ‘trash’ and honestly, I can’t keep just one case behind the counter. Our customers are going to need a way to see that we have it available.”

    Customer: *waves DVD case in my face* “Who watches this trash anyway!? It’s sinful smut and I don’t want children seeing it!”

    Me: “That is why it is up high on the shelves, in a little corner, behind a curtain that is clearly labelled for LGBT movies. Makes me wonder how you saw it ma’am, as you would have to walk to that corner and move the curtain. Honestly, I don’t even think we need the curtain. I think there should be more tolerance for gays and those of the LGBT community.”

    Customer:You did this! You brought all of those movies from home, and put them in that section because you support f***! You should not be working where Christians shop!”

    Me: “I’m straight, ma’am, but I do support the LGBT community. I can promise you I did not bring those movies from home. We are legally allowed to rent out those movies here. Now if you would please give me the DVD so that I can put it back where it belongs, I would be very happy.”

    (She flings the DVD case at me. I duck in time for it not to hit me, but it crashes into the sign we have up to show what our new releases are.)

    Customer: “GO TO H***!”

    (She stomps out of the store. A few moments later, my manager calls. I tell her what just happened.)

    Manager: “Oh dear, do you need some coffee?”

    Me: “Only a lot.”

    Height Trumps Hate

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Military, Rude & Risque, Top

    (My younger brother has come to town to visit me. I take him to the bar I work at for a few drinks and to meet my friends there. A regular customer who has been hitting on me for months comes in and sees us sitting together in one of the booths.)

    Customer: *tries to look down my shirt* “Huh, and I thought after all this time you were a f***ing lesbian. Or is this f** your beard?”

    Me: “I’m not working tonight. Go bother someone else.”

    (The customer slides into the booth next to me, and tries to put his arm around my shoulders.)

    Customer: “Why don’t you send your f** boyfriend off to get some beer and we can have a nice talk?”

    (Note that my brother has been sitting slouched in the booth, concealing his size.)

    Brother: “Why don’t you take your hands off of her and f*** off?”

    (The customer springs out of the booth and stands near my brother in a really stupid looking ‘karate’ pose.)

    Customer: “Why don’t you make me, you f***ing f**?! Huh?! Why don’t you make me?”

    Brother: “Okay…”

    (As he starts to slowly get out of the booth, the customer realizes his mistake. The customer is maybe 5’8″, while my brother looms over a foot taller than him at 6’9″. My brother grabs him by collar and belt and throws him out.)

    Brother: “And it’s Sergeant, not f**, if you don’t mind!”

    (I love my little brother.)

    This ‘Real Man’ Requires A Substitute

    | BC, Canada | Bigotry, Top

    (I’ve just started a new job after having a baby a few months back. I’m a single mother. I am processing my first refund-to-gift-card transaction. I’m having a little bit of trouble with it, so I ask if they would mind if I called my manager.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This is my first time doing this. Would you mind if I phoned my manager to ask him how it’s done?”

    Customer: “Go figure! That’s what happens when we start hiring women! They can’t do anything right, can they? You ought to be barefoot pregnant in the kitchen, not taking jobs from hardworking men.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. I actually just started this job after having a baby.”

    Customer: “So, you’re leaving a real man at home to look after your child while you take money for yourself?”

    Me: *appalled* “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m just going to call my manager to ask him how the refund is done.”

    Customer: “Go home to your b*****d baby! Leave the jobs to real men!”

    (At this point, a tall metal head-looking man, with long hair, piercings, and ripped jeans approaches the counter behind the man. I recognize him as a teacher who’d substituted for some classes when I was in school. He speaks up.)

    Substitute Teacher: “If all the jobs are for hardworking men, what the h*** are you doing here at two in the afternoon instead of working?”

    (The customer turns white at the sight of him, gathers up his items and runs off without getting his refund. I thanked the substitute with my first ever gift card transaction, and he took me out to dinner. He, my baby and I have been a family ever since!)

    Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation, Part 2

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bigotry

    Caller: “Can I speak with [banker name]?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but she’s in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help with?”

    Caller: “I’m having trouble hearing you. Can you speak up?”

    (I move my headset closer.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Your accent is appalling! I hate talking to you Asians!”

    Me: *mild shock* “Ma’am, I’m a kiwi, born and bred.”

    Caller: “Nonsense! Where were you born?”

    Me: “At [giant public hospital in Auckland].”

    Caller: “Oh, but your parents must be Asians! They’re everywhere!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. My parents are Scottish stock, and have been here five generations.”

    Caller: “D*** you Asians!” *click*

    Related:
    Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation


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