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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    R-Word Is R-Rated

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry

    (My coworker also happens to be my very best friend. He is severely disfigured, but sweet and very talented at carving. However, because of his appearance, our manager keeps him working in the back room most of the time. One day our manager is out sick and has left me in charge. My best friend comes out of the back room to bring me some inventory. A customer sees him.)

    Customer: “Oh, dear!” *to me* “Bless you, dear.”

    Me: “Um, thank you?”

    Customer: “For hiring someone like that poor boy!”

    (She is speaking as though my friend isn’t standing right beside me. He looks hurt, and I try to hurry the customer along.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

    Customer: “People like you really are a blessing, dear. Even the retarded need jobs in this country. I would never employ one, but I certainly respect those who do.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, could you please not say that word?”

    Customer: “What, retarded? But it’s what he is.”

    Me: “No, he isn’t. I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please.”

    Customer: “But look at him! He’s obviously retarded, dear. You don’t have to lie. He can’t understand you.”

    (At this point, I am very angry and my friend looks near tears.)

    Me: “Ma’am, he is not mentally impaired, and he understands every word that we’re exchanging. It’s not difficult to grasp that you’re an enormous bigot, either. Please leave the store.”

    (The customer starts to leave in a huff, but pauses to admire some hand-carved birds at the front of the store.)

    Me: “By the way, he made those.”

    (The customer glares at me and storms out.)

    Not A Hair Out Of Place

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I work as a driver for a car rental office. I pick up customers from their homes, or from the local service centers and body shops, and return them to the same locations when they return the car. I am male and have worn my hair long for nearly ten years. During this trip, I am returning a customer home. His head is shaved. After making small talk for a few minutes, he asks a question.)

    Customer: “So, why do you have your hair like that? You look like a f****** f**.”

    Me: “Well, sir. I’ve been blessed with the ability to grow thick, healthy hair, so I grow it out, and once a year I cut it off and donate it to ‘Locks Of Love.’ They take it and make wigs for kids with cancer, who DON’T have the ability to grow their hair anymore thanks to chemo.”

    (There is silence in the car for a few minutes.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m sorry about before. I actually lost my son to cancer a couple years ago. I shaved my head to match his, and I keep it shaved to remember him…”

    Way South Of Average Intelligence

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    (I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

    Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

    Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

    Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

    Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

    Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

    Me: “… Oh boy.”

    Deaf To Reason, Part 2

    , | Darwin, NT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Pets & Animals

    (I am at a supermarket checkout.)

    Me: “Hey, there! How are you this eveni—”

    Customer: “You realise there’s a man in here with a dog, right?”

    Me: “Oh? Maybe it’s a guide dog or something?”

    Customer: “No, no! It doesn’t have the guide dog harness! Really! The beast is sticking its nose in the fresh bread!”

    (She proceeds to point over my shoulder, and I decide to look. To my amusement, it is a man who had come to my primary school when I was younger, to teach us about dogs that help people with hearing issues.)

    Me: “Actually, I know that guy. The dog is actually there to help him because of his hearing being—”

    Customer: “I don’t CARE what the dog is there for! It’s not a guide dog and needs to be removed! If you’re not going to help, call your manager, please!”

    (Exasperated and a bit peeved at the customer’s behaviour, I grudgingly do so while she defiantly hold up the line.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “That MAN over there has brought some flea-ridden dog in here while he’s shopping! Get him out of here at once!”

    Me: “I tried to explain to her it’s a hearing aid dog, but she’s not listening.”

    Customer: “I was listening you little cretin! Hearing aid dogs don’t—”

    Manager: “Actually they do, and this man is well known for coming through with his dog to help with his shopping. The kids love him, we love him, and you just appear to want to deny that for sake of argument.”

    Customer: “How DARE you! I’m a paying customer!”

    (By this point my manager asked her to pay her due and leave. She does… only to come back in and flat out abuse the guy for making HER look like a fool. Cops had to be called for her to be removed.)

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason

    Killing Two Types Of Bigot With One Stone

    | MO, USA | Bigotry

    (I recently got married. Due to the nature of my job, I opted for a simple wedding band instead of one with a stone that could easily get caught on things while I am working.)

    Customer: “Are you a lesbian?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You have a man’s ring.”

    Me: “Oh, no. My husband and I got matching bands. I didn’t want a stone because it could get in the way at work.”

    Customer: “Husband? So you’re not a lesbian?”

    Me: “No, I am not. Like I said, a simple band seemed more practical to me.”

    Customer: “Well, you should get a girl’s ring! How do you expect people to know you’re not a lesbian with THAT on your finger?”


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