Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,207 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

    (The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

    Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

    (I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

    Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

    Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

    (Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

    Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

    (My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

    Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

    (The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

    Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

    (The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

    He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him

    | Absecon, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a 20-year-old girl, with several tattoos. Only the clover on my wrist is visible. An older customer comes in at least once a week.)

    Older Customer: “What happens when you get older and the tattoo looks bad?”

    Me: “That’s part of the experience of having a tattoo; it grows with you. Plus, I’m Irish, so it’s part of my heritage. It’s not like I’m going to regret it.”

    Customer: “Yes, you will. When you get old, it will get ugly, and you’ll hate it.”

    Me: “Sir, no offense, but it’s my heritage. That is not something I will hate. And even if it does get ugly, the rest of me will be wrinkled too. And really, it isn’t any of your business or concern what I do to my body.”

    (A male coworker comes up, who also has a visible tattoo. The customer says nothing to him.)

    Me: “What about his tattoo?”

    Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter; he’s a man. Women just shouldn’t get tattoos. They’ll make them ugly later on.”

    No ID, No Idea, Part 11

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (An American customer approaches, and tries to pay with a card that isn’t his. It has a typically female name on it, and the signatures don’t match.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but I don’t think this is your card. I can’t put through the sale.”

    Customer: “It’s my girlfriend’s. She said I could use it.”

    Me: “That might be so, but it’s illegal for me to finish the sale; I am sorry. Is your girlfriend in the store? She can come and sign for it.”

    (I suggest this cheerfully, so that he knows I’m definitely not accusing him of having a stolen card. However, the customer instantly snaps and begins yelling.)

    Customer: “YOU F****** AUSTRALIANS! I COME HERE FOR A HOLIDAY, AND YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF RACIST PRICKS! IF I WAS AUSTRALIAN, YOU’D F****** PROCESS IT! THIS S*** DOESN’T HAPPEN IN AMERICA! F*** YOU!”

    (My manager, who happens to be nearby, decides to intervene.)

    Manager: “Sir, that’s simply not true. It’s legislation to protect people from having their card stolen. We’re protecting your girlfriend’s money.”

    Customer: “WHAT A LOAD OF S***. WELCOME TO F****** AUSTRALIA, HEY? F*** ALL OF YOU! F*** YOUR F****** COUNTRY! F****** AUSSIE RACIST C****!”

    (He storms out of the store, leaving everyone speechless.)

    Manager: “I wonder what he’ll do when he realises he left the card behind.”

    Related:
    No ID, No Idea, Part 10
    No ID, No Idea, Part 9

    Teeny Tiny Meets Teenage Whiney

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Top

    (There is a young couple in my check-out line, followed by a handful of teenagers. The man is quite a bit taller than the woman, and he’s fairly muscular and intimidating. She’s very small, and unassuming. The teenagers are making a number of snide, extremely explicit comments to her.)

    Teen #1: “D***, baby! You ought to learn how to service more than one man! A pretty little thing like you needs to be trained!”

    (The other two teens high-five each other and laugh.)

    Teen #2: “Yeah, man! With a fine b**** like you, a real man could find some use for that mouth!”

    (She grabs her companion’s arm, and mutters something quiet to him. She then smiles at me as it’s their turn. They put their things on the counter.)

    Me: “Hi there. Did you find everything you needed today?”

    Teen #3: “Hey! B****! Don’t ignore us! Men are talking; you gotta learn some respect!”

    (She smiles at me, but looks slightly annoyed.)

    Woman: “Won’t you excuse me?”

    (She turns around.)

    Man: “Oh, boy.”

    Woman: “If you EVER speak to me like that again, you never WILL become the men you’re arrogant enough to think you’ve already become. If you want to be treated like adults, and respected like adults, you act like adults and show other people respect. I feel sorry for your poor mothers. You are pathetic excuses for human beings. Go bother somebody else; come back when you’re ready to behave yourselves!”

    (The man starts talking to me.)

    Man: “The funny thing is, people think that because I’m physically bigger than she is, they should be afraid of me. Then they see her mad. She’s tiny, but she’s the scary one.”

    Addressed The Race Issue

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bigotry, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work at a technical service call centre. A call is taken by an African-Canadian tech.)

    Tech: “Thank you for calling [name of company]. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Oh, thank God they gave me somebody white! The last time I called they expected me to talk to some stupid n*****.”

    (The tech is perfectly calm.)

    Tech: “Sorry about that, sir. How can I help you?”

    (The call proceeds as normal. The tech troubleshoots with the caller, and decides new software is needed. He offers to ship the software.)

    Tech: “Just to make sure, can I reconfirm your address?”

    Caller: “Oh, sure. It’s [full street address].”

    Tech: “Thank you. Oh, and before you go, you ought to know that I’m the biggest, blackest mother-f***** you’ll ever meet in your life, and I know where you live. Good day.”

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