October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

Way South Of Average Intelligence

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

(I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

Me: “… Oh boy.”

Deaf To Reason, Part 2

, | Darwin, NT, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Pets & Animals

(I am at a supermarket checkout.)

Me: “Hey, there! How are you this eveni—”

Customer: “You realise there’s a man in here with a dog, right?”

Me: “Oh? Maybe it’s a guide dog or something?”

Customer: “No, no! It doesn’t have the guide dog harness! Really! The beast is sticking its nose in the fresh bread!”

(She proceeds to point over my shoulder, and I decide to look. To my amusement, it is a man who had come to my primary school when I was younger, to teach us about dogs that help people with hearing issues.)

Me: “Actually, I know that guy. The dog is actually there to help him because of his hearing being—”

Customer: “I don’t CARE what the dog is there for! It’s not a guide dog and needs to be removed! If you’re not going to help, call your manager, please!”

(Exasperated and a bit peeved at the customer’s behaviour, I grudgingly do so while she defiantly hold up the line.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “That MAN over there has brought some flea-ridden dog in here while he’s shopping! Get him out of here at once!”

Me: “I tried to explain to her it’s a hearing aid dog, but she’s not listening.”

Customer: “I was listening you little cretin! Hearing aid dogs don’t—”

Manager: “Actually they do, and this man is well known for coming through with his dog to help with his shopping. The kids love him, we love him, and you just appear to want to deny that for sake of argument.”

Customer: “How DARE you! I’m a paying customer!”

(By this point my manager asked her to pay her due and leave. She does… only to come back in and flat out abuse the guy for making HER look like a fool. Cops had to be called for her to be removed.)

Deaf To Reason

Killing Two Types Of Bigot With One Stone

| MO, USA | Bigotry

(I recently got married. Due to the nature of my job, I opted for a simple wedding band instead of one with a stone that could easily get caught on things while I am working.)

Customer: “Are you a lesbian?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You have a man’s ring.”

Me: “Oh, no. My husband and I got matching bands. I didn’t want a stone because it could get in the way at work.”

Customer: “Husband? So you’re not a lesbian?”

Me: “No, I am not. Like I said, a simple band seemed more practical to me.”

Customer: “Well, you should get a girl’s ring! How do you expect people to know you’re not a lesbian with THAT on your finger?”

Piercing Judgments, Part 4

| PA, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Religion

(I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

Piercing Judgments, Part 3
Piercing Judgments, Part 2
Piercing Judgments

Dealing With A Whole New Animus

| TX, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I’m working my shift on a particularly lazy Sunday night, when two guys come in. I’m the only one out on the floor, as my other two coworkers are in the back. I greet the guys as they come in.)

Me: “Hey, guys. How are y’all doing?”

Guy #1: “Um, good. You?”

Me: “Doing great, actually. What brings you guys in here today?”

Guy #2: “Y’know, games. Are there any employees we can talk to, or—”

Me: “You are.”

Guy #1: “Girls don’t play games. Don’t lie to me.”

Guy #2: “And if you play games then list five characters from the same game.”

Me: “Connor Kenway, Haytham Kenway, Achilles, Charles Lee, and Ziio.”

Guy #1:Assassin’s Creed, huh? Who’s the main character in the first one?”

Me: “Altaïr.”

(This goes on for several minutes, and my coworker finally comes out of the back.)

Coworker: “Hey, y’all need anything?”

Guy #2: “Yeah, actually. You need to hire her or something!”

Coworker: “We did.”

Guy #1: “Oh God, I’m sorry. We were quizzing her on Assassin’s Creed. And she kinda won.”

Coworker: “Yeah, gamer girls do exist. Guys just get mad when the girl knows more about the game than they do.”

(After buying their games, the two customers leave, and my coworker and I start to close up.)

Coworker: “So that happened. Why’d he say you won?”

Me: “He thought Ezio’s close friend was Leonardo di Caprio.”

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