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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    DOMArry The One You Love

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Love/Romance, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A co-worker and I are out to lunch on the weekend with our boss. We’re all really good friends and we are chatting with each other when we notice one of the waiters, who is thin and short, getting harassed by a group of teens.)

    Rude Teen #1: “Haha, look at [waiter] f*** up like he always does!”

    Rude Teen #2: “Ha! D*** f****t!”

    (The waiter is doing a good job ignoring the rude teens, but it’s very obvious he’s feeling upset. He’s walking towards us when one of the teens trips the waiter. He falls face first into the food he is carrying.)

    Rude Teen #1: *laughs hysterically* “Oops, don’t fall!”

    (The waiter gets up and wipes his face off, but it’s very obvious that he is crying. Having been bullied myself for being gay and being appalled at what’s going on, I stand up and approach the table. Note, I’m 6’3″ and very strong. I stand in between the tables the kids are at and the waiter.)

    Me: “Do we have a problem here?”

    Rude Teen #2: “Mind your own business, man!”

    Rude Teen #1: “Yeah, f*** off! This kid is a f****t anyways!”

    Me: “I suggest you stop right now, or else…” *I push up my sleeve and flex* “…you all and I are going to have a problem.”

    (The two teens slink down into their seats, and I walk the waiter over to his co-workers.)

    Me: *to the waiter* “Hey, if anybody ever tries to harass you or hurt you again, call this number. I know what’s like for being bullied because you’re gay. Just remember: I’m here to help you.”

    (I give the waiter my phone number. He hugs me and starts crying on my shoulder. While he is, the manager of the store comes by, and I explain the situation to him and point out the two teenagers. After the whole ordeal is done, the manager and the waiter come over to our table and give me a $100 gift card for helping them out. I tell them they don’t have to reward me for being a decent human being, but they keep continuing to offer it. Later that night I get a phone call from that waiter, but it wasn’t about being bullied. Eleven months later, I’m now engaged to the waiter I protected that day.)

    Speaking American Is A Country Diction In Terms

    | USA | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (We have one really racist customer who calls in every few hours, and asks ridiculous questions about the employees. When he gets answers he doesn’t like, he hangs up. One of our reps decides she’ll deal with him the next time he calls, so we pass the call along to her. It is slow, so a few of us crowd around to listen.)

    Representative: “Thank you for calling [company]; how may I help you?”

    Caller: “None of that s***! Before you help me, you have to pass a test. First of all, were you born in the state you live in?”

    Representative: “No, sir. Now how may I help you?”

    Caller: “That’s strike one. Were you born in the US?”

    Representative: “Yes. Is that all?”

    Caller: “How long has your family been here?”

    Representative: *mischievous smile* “Which side are you inquiring about, sir?”

    Caller: “Excuse me?”

    Representative: “Well I’m assuming you have at least a rudimentary understanding of genetics. Therefore, unless your parents are brother and sister, you should have two sides to your family.”

    Caller: “Who the f*** you think you are, asking me that?”

    Representative: “Well, you’re the one who asked an unclear question, sir.”

    Caller: “And you ain’t smart enough to know I meant BOTH sides of your family?”

    Representative: “Well, sir, to answer your ambiguous question it depends on which part of the family you mean. Both my parents were born in the United States.”

    Caller: “What about their parents?”

    Representative: “What about them?”

    Caller: “YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!”

    Representative: “Well I really don’t think that’s any of your business, sir.”

    Caller: “I want to make sure I’m dealing with a real American, you hear me? Someone who can speak American good, who ain’t some dummy foreigner, and who ain’t none of them [string of racial slurs]!”

    Representative: “Sir, as someone who majored in language and literature in college, I can guarantee you that I probably speak English better than you do.”

    Caller: “That ain’t good enough! I said American! Not English!”

    Representative: “You do realize that American is a vernacular of English?”

    Caller: “What’s that?”

    Representative: “Why don’t you get a dictionary, and look it up? While you’re at it, look up ‘inbred’ and ‘bigot’, and call back when you figure out why I suggested it.” *hangs up*

    Discrimi(nation), Part 2

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (The store I work for is run by a Vietnamese family. I am the only Caucasian working there, and the only other non-Vietnamese employee is often mistaken for being Vietnamese because of the color of his skin. We usually work together. A drunk customer comes in. Since law prohibits us from selling to people who are intoxicated, my coworker heads him off.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, sir, you’ve had enough for tonight. We can’t serve you any more.”

    Customer: “F*** you, c****! Get out of my way!”

    Coworker: “Listen, man, there’s no need to get angry here; just go home go to bed. You can start again tomorrow.”

    (The customer stumbles up to me at the till.)

    Customer: “F****** c****, tryin’ ta tell me he won’t serve me.”

    Me: “Sir, we won’t be serving you anymore tonight, or ever again. That word you keep using derogatorily refers to a Chinese person. The owners of this store are from Vietnam.”

    Customer: “Whatever, they should all go back where they come from, starting with that fat f***!”

    (I am trying not to laugh.)

    Customer: “What’s so funny?”

    Me: “The person you just said should go back where he comes from is pure Cree First Nations. His people have been here long before ours. Now I believe I told you we won’t be serving you anymore; get out now.”

    Related:
    Discrimi(nation)

    Animal-Hating, Manner-less And Bigoted, Oh My

    | NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m helping a couple of regulars with finding ingredients for a new recipe. One of them is blind, and has his guide dog with him. Another customer stomps up to us while I am showing them different spices.)

    Customer #1: “Excuse me! I need your help.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait until I’m done helping these gentlemen.”

    Customer #1: “No, I need help now!”

    Me: “Then if you’d like, I can call one of my coworkers over and they can help you.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t want you to call someone else.”

    Me: “Then you will have to wait.”

    (I turn back to the regulars. The rude customer shoves her way between me and them, stepping on the guide dog’s tail in the process. The dog gives a shrill yelp.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please! You could have seriously hurt his dog!”

    (Customer #1 shoves the dog aside with her foot.)

    Customer #1: “I’m the customer! You have to serve me!”

    Regular Customer: “Miss, she has explained to you that she’s busy, and has offered to call someone else to help you. Don’t shout at her, and please don’t abuse my husband’s guide dog.”

    (Customer #1 turns to him. The regular customer has an obvious Italian accent, but he isn’t difficult to understand.)

    Customer #1: “Get out of here, you d*** foreigner! Don’t come back until you learn some f****** English!”

    Me: “Ma’am, he is speaking perfect English. Now if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    (Customer #1 shoves me. I lose my balance, and fall. Immediately, the regular customer, who is a well-known boxer in the local area and quite strong, literally picks up customer #1 and carries her out of the store. She screams profanities and slurs at him the whole way. His partner helps me up, and I pay for their spices myself. I also get the guide dog a large steak bone, for when she is out of her harness. The best part? We found out later that the rude customer was wanted for armed robbery, and that she was arrested that day!)

    It’s About To Get Crazy Horse Up In Here

    , | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I am on break and heading towards the restroom, when a customer asks me to take his order. Seeing that it’s busy, and assuming that the customer has been waiting for some time, I step up to the spare till that the managers all share. All of my on-duty coworkers are either Hispanic or African American.)

    Me: “Sorry about the wait. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Number four, medium, with an iced tea to drink. I’m glad you finally came out of the kitchen. I thought I’d never get to order.”

    Me: “I’m sorry again about your wait. We’ve been a little understaffed all day.”

    Customer: “So, that must be why you were doing the Mexican’s work.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “The kitchen, the kitchen! I guess all these n****** who can’t take an order right needed someone back there who speaks English to fix everything. They need to hire more white folks like you to work here.”

    Me: “Sir, I would appreciate it if you refrain from making such offensive remarks.”

    Customer: “Aw, c’mon. No need to cater to them. Just between us, you think whites are the best race, right?”

    Me: “Just between us?”

    (I beckon the customer closer, then speak loudly enough for the entire restaurant to hear.)

    Me: “If you spout any more of this racist bull-s***, I will not hesitate to kick you out.”

    Customer: “But you’re white!”

    Me: “Not that it matters, but I’m half Native-American.”

    Customer: “You don’t look it. If that’s true, what’s your ‘Injun’ name?”

    Me: “In my tribe, I am called ‘Ejects-Bigoted-A**-hole-From-Premises’. Now kindly get the f*** out.”


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