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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Stereotypes Are A Bigot’s Best Friend

    | Stewart, BC, Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

    (Born and raised in Donegal, Ireland, I moved to Canada in my late teens. I still carry an extremely thick accent. I am working my first day at a call center and pick up the phone.)

    Me: “Hello, my name is Danny; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’m sorry; what did you say? Your name is Darry?”

    Me: “My name is Danny, sir. Short form of Daniel.”

    Customer: “Wait, are you a Scotsman?”

    Me: “Irishman, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh, f***’s sake! Put me on the phone with someone who can help me.”

    Me: “Well, sir, I am new to this profession, but I assure you that I’ll—”

    Customer: “No, just shut up and get me an American! You can go get drunk off an a**-load of whiskey that you pale f***s live for.”

    Me: “Sir, with all due respect, I work in a Canadian call center, and therefore most of the workers here are Canadian, not American.”

    Customer: “I can’t understand you! You’re slurring because of how f****** drunk you always are! Go get me your boss, ya f****** Leprechaun!”

    (I proceed to put my boss on the phone, who happens to be an African-American.)

    Customer: “Sir, my call was just answered by an Irishman.”

    (My boss raises an eyebrow at me, and I shrug.)

    Boss: “Yes, and?”

    Customer: “And I want to make that next time I call, I don’t end up with a n****** on the other end. Real people should be doing this kind of work. I’m sure you’re a respectable man who will think about this.”

    Boss: “Actually, sir, I happen to be black.”

    Customer: “Oh, s***!” *hangs up*

    Technically They Should Be Embarrassed

    | Italy | Bigotry, Technology, Transportation

    (I’m a woman in her 20s, and I look quite young. A group of men in their 30s have come in, having booked a minivan for a trip to the Czech Republic.)

    Me: “…and here’s your rental agreement. It states that the car is a diesel, but please check yourself at the gas station, because the computer-provided data about the cars have been known to be wrong.”

    Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? I’m a grown-up man for God’s sake!”

    Me: “Certainly not, but such mistakes happen more often you’d like to think. I’m only saying this to avoid you having to pay for any damages, or simply having a broken car in the middle of your trip.”

    Customer: “Well, you’re a girl, so I’m not surprised you don’t know that the type of fuel the car requires is written on the gas refilling hole. I’m not surprised you know nothing about cars; it’s a man thing and requires some technical knowledge.

    Me: “Okay then. Have a nice trip and be safe!”

    (The customers go out to the parking lot. I can see them fidgeting with the remote, and have some trouble just opening the car. Once inside, I see them pushing various buttons on the radio and still not driving out of the parking lot. After several minutes, the customer I’ve spoken with comes back in.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Customer: “…I can’t find the handbrake.”

    Gay Rights And Copyrights

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bigotry, Health & Body

    (A female customer comes up to me.)

    Customer: “I want to return this Jillian Michael’s Work Out DVD Set.”

    Me: “Is there something wrong with it?”

    Customer: “I just found out that she’s gay. I don’t want to stare at a gay woman exercising. She’ll turn me gay.”

    Me: “…right. Well, I’m sorry, but I cannot take this back.”

    Customer: “You want me to be gay?!”

    Me: “Um, no. The kit is opened, and for copyright reasons I cannot return opened DVDs.”

    Customer: “If I go to Hell, it’s your fault!”

    Ready To Bust His Pipes

    | Omaha, NE, USA | Bigotry, Home Improvement, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a fairly petite, young looking woman, who grew up with three brothers, and a single father. I’m one of the better employees for plumbing help, because my dad made me learn.)

    Me: “Welcome to [store]; what’s the project today?”

    Customer: “My toilet leaks; I need one of your guys to help.”

    Me: “Let’s head to plumbing. Where is the leak from?”

    Customer: “I want one of the guys, and not some idiot girl.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll radio one of them.”

    (A coworker responds, and I turn the customer over and go back to restocking. A few minutes later, the customer storms up.)

    Customer: “This is the stupidest hardware store! Where’s your manager?”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    Me: “They’ll be in tomorrow morning.”

    (The customer stomps out. The next day, I’m in plumbing. I am helping one of our regular contractors, when yesterday’s cranky customer returns.)

    Customer: “I want your manager!”

    (The cashier radio calls them, and the owner actually responds first.)

    Owner: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “You have idiots working here! They can’t help in plumbing!”

    (The owner gestures to me.)

    Owner: “Sir, she is one of our plumbing experts, and was on last night.”

    Customer: “I know that no idiot girl can help!”

    (The contractor walks up.)

    Contractor: “Watch your mouth! She is the best help you can get without calling a professional!”

    Customer: “NO! Girls should be cashiers, and flirt with customers!”

    Owner: “Sir, you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “You can’t make me!”

    Me: “Sir. I have two police officer brothers, a correctional officer father, a jujitsu trainer brother, and my martial arts training. You are leaving. By your choice or by force.”

    (For a few moments, the customer contemplates if it’s worth the fight, but ultimately decides against it.)

    Contractor: “Man, you ruin all my fun by giving him a choice!”

    Owner: “Don’t encourage her. She isn’t in the gym, so she can’t go dislocating elbows here.”

    Contractor: “Now both of you are ruining my fun!” *leaves*

    How The Cookie Crumbles, Part 2

    | Welches, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I am in line to get cookies for my second grade class that I teach for the last day of the semester. I am rather thin, have blonde hair that’s very long and dyed, and I have high heels. I am speaking to the clerk.)

    Me: “Hey, can I get these for my class?”

    (I’m pointing to a selection of pink writing icing. The customer behind me suddenly speaks up.)

    Customer: “Stupid blonde w****!”

    (The clerk and I look at him.)

    Clerk: “Please don’t use that language in here, sir.”

    Customer: “What? She is! Oh, little miss b****, what’ve you got there?”

    (The customer points to my grocery bag.)

    Customer: “Oh, let me guess! Lipstick and eye makeup, and daft things to go in your sissy blonde hair! Skinny underwear, and big bras, tampons and oh—let me guess, a massive box of condoms!”

    Me: “Listen to me. Firstly, this is not my real hair. I’m actually a ginger, but to avoid confusion with another person at work, I dyed it blonde. Secondly, I’m buying cookies for my second graders. Thirdly, I am a virgin and have a Bachelor’s Degree. Fourth, although I am about to marry someone, I am, like I said, a virgin.”

    (The customer walks out without buying anything. By the way, my class enjoyed the cookies!)

    Related:
    How The Cookie Crumbles

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