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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    The Land Of The Free From Thought

    | USA | Bigotry, Geography

    (I am the manager at a discount department store, and one of our regular customers is a little bit flaky. She often talks to herself, repeating herself over and over.)

    Customer: “Where are you from? What country do you come from?”

    Me: “I was born in Colorado.”

    Customer: “You need to go back to your country at once. America is for Americans.”

    Me: “Colorado IS in America.

    Customer: “You must go back! You must go back! You must go back!”

    (She continues this ad nauseam until she finally leaves. A few weeks later she returns and purchases some items. Her total is $7.60 or so, and one of the coins she hands me is a Canadian quarter. I calmly inspect said quarter, and hand it back.)

    Me: “I can’t accept this coin. Here in America, we only accept AMERICAN currency. If you want to spend the Canadian currency, perhaps you should, you know, go back to Canada to do so.”

    (I haven’t had a problem with her since.)

    Anti-Bigotry Bigotry

    | Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I am a male host at my father’s restaurant. My very flamboyant boyfriend has come to pick me up at the end of my shift.  I need to seat the customers first, so I asked him to step out of line.)

    Customer: “How dare you!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “That boy wants to eat in this restaurant, and you’re refusing him service because he’s gay?! Let me speak to your boss!”

    (I go and fetch my dad, who’s having a hard time keeping the smile off his face.)

    Dad: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “That host is a homophobe! He asked that gay boy to move so he could seat the rest of us! I demand that you fire him!”

    Dad: “First of all, that’s my son, and—”

    Customer: “I guess you’re homophobic, too, then.  Huh? Did you teach him that homosexuality is wrong and disgusting?”

    (She continues shouting abuse for a few minutes. My dad patiently waits until she was done talking.)

    Dad: “Second of all, the gay boy he supposedly refused service to is his boyfriend, who is here to pick my son up for their date.”

    Customer: “Oh, uh…”

    (She politely apologized to all three of us, and told my boyfriend and me to have fun on our date. Moral of the story: Don’t assume that everything you see is a hate crime!)

    Keeping Borders Secure And Identity Insecure

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am waiting in line, the next to be up, when I hear this a customer start shouting about how she refuses to show ‘some Mexican’ her ID in order to purchase something.)

    Customer: “I don’t know where you get off asking to see MY ID! I don’t ask to see your green card!”

    Employee: “Your credit card doesn’t have a signature on it, so I have to get an ID or I can’t let you use it.”

    Customer: “This is so rude! I cannot believe you people are even allowed to ask for it, for ANY REASON!”

    (Having had enough, and just wanting to buy my videogame, I start walking towards the customer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?!”

    Customer: “This illegal wants to see my ID!”

    Me: “She’s obviously not illegal, but if you don’t want her to see your ID, then maybe you can just let me see both cards and I’ll verify it to her?”

    Customer: “That’s fine. A nice American boy doing the right thing. Thank you.”

    (The clerk hands me the credit card, and the woman hands me her ID. I look at them and nod to the clerk. I don’t hand the lady back her ID, though.)

    Me: “So… your name’s [Name].”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s right.”

    Me: “You live at [Address]?”

    Customer: “That’s what the ID says.”

    Me: “Do you know my name?”

    Customer: “Uh, huh? No, I don’t. Of course not. Don’t be silly. We just met.”

    Me: “Do you know my address?”

    Customer: “Well, obviously I wouldn’t. What’s your point?”

    Me: “[Full Name] who lives at [Address], why would you give me your ID without knowing who I am, what I want, or what I would do with it? I know who you are and where you live now.”

    (The customer just stares at me, speechless as I hand her back the card and the clerk gives her the items she came in to buy.)

    Me: “Oh, and by the way – I’m Italian, so think about how badly you just screwed up as you walk back to your car. I’m not saying I would change my locks. I’m just saying I’d be smarter about things!”

    The Game Of Life

    | TN, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Technology

    Customer: “Sir, do you know anything about video games?”

    Me: “Yeah, I do, but it depends on which games. I haven’t played them all yet.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be playing video games! You are a young man. Go make a d*** family!”

    (I look down at the floor at this point as the customer is scolding me.)

    Customer: “Were you just looking at my daughters a**!?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I wouldn’t!”

    Customer: “Is she not GOOD enough for you?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m gay…”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be that either!”

    Second Life, Same Bigotry

    | USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I create products for several virtual worlds. Please note that I’m male and so is my primary character. I also have a female character logged in for doing testing when I get a message from a customer.)

    Customer: “I’m having problems with one of your products.”

    Me: Can you describe the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, I really need you to see. Can you come?”

    Me: “Well, I have a screen full of programming and building, but I have a friend who I’m sure can help.”

    Customer: “Okay, that will be fine.”

    (I send my female character and never let on that it’s actually me. The problem gets resolved quickly and I bring my female character home. The customer messages me again.)

    Customer: “YOU SENT A WOMAN!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Why did you send a woman?”

    Me: “Well, did you two resolve the problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, BUT IT WAS A WOMAN!”

    (Punch-line? The customer was female, too!)


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