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  • Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    A Development For The Lesser Developed

    | Manila, Philippines | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Technology

    (I am a technical support person for an ISP in Australia. Customers often ask us where the calls are routed to. They really don’t mind as long as you help them but this one is just different. After walking an irate customer through the troubleshooting steps:)

    Customer: “Where is this call routed to?”

    Me: “Your call has been routed here in the Philippines.”

    Customer: *in a rude tone* “So, I’m basically talking to a monkey?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. A monkey who’s teaching you how to use your pocket wifi.”

    Customer: “…” *click*

    Bigots United

    | MA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the assistant manager at a rent-to-own home goods company. Since payments pay for the week in advance there are no grace periods and, due to the customer base, repossessions are common. I am female, white, pagan, and lesbian. My boss is male, Cambodian, Buddhist, and an immigrant.)

    Customer: *storms in* “You guys are racist! I’m gonna sue you all!”

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Your truck showed up and took my s***! I want it back now or I’ll sue you f*** racists!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at your account so we can figure out what is going on. What’s your name?”

    Customer: “You know d** well what my name is! This whole store is a bunch of f****** racists.”

    (Aside from myself and the manager we only have two other employees. One is male, Hispanic, and very Catholic, and the other is male, a very dark skinned Haitian, and practices voodoo. Between the four of us we represent four religions, four races, gay/straight, married/unmarried, young/middle age, male/female, etc… My manager comes out from his office.)

    Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You are all a bunch of racists and bigots. You sent your truck just to persecute me!”

    Manager: “Sir, please calm down. We sent out truck because you have not been in to pay your bill in three weeks.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You sent it because you can’t stand someone like me to have nice things!”

    (My truck guys are protective over me. They hear the commotion and come out of the back, standing behind me and the manager.)

    Customer: “Give me my s*** back! I’m gonna call the cops and tell them what a bunch of f****** racists you are!”

    Me: “We would be happy to return the items, sir. We just need you to catch your account up. With three weeks behind, and then the next week ahead, it makes four weeks total. That comes to—”

    Customer: “Oh, H***, NO! I’m not paying that s***! You bunch of bigots! You are gonna give me back my s*** for FREE or I’m gonna sue!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You need to catch up your account before we can re-deliver.”

    Customer: “Listen here, you little b****! I know my rights! I’m gonna sue! You’re all a bunch of racists and bigots!”

    Truck Guy: “Against what, exactly?”

    (The customer finally paused long enough to look at us… in all of our cultural rainbow glory… then turned and walked out quickly!)

    A (Religiously) Extreme Reaction

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bigotry, Books & Reading, Religion

    (Our inbound services take calls for a lot of the as-seen-on-TV products. I am working there soon after 9/11 and we have a particular caller who would often call to rant about how we were a scam.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Why the h*** would I want to buy a thing of Charlton Heston reading the Bible? Do you know what kind of a man he is?”

    Me: “You’re calling for the ‘Charlton Heston Reads the Bible’ then, sir?”

    Caller: “H***, yes, I’m calling about that. I want to know what sort of d*** outfit you’re running there that you think I’d want to buy a thing of Heston reading the Bible.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t say what you would like, sir, but a lot of people seem to like this product. It has been fairly popular. Possibly because Charlton Heston played Moses in The Ten Commandments.”

    Caller: “Like h*** he did! And like h*** this is popular. Didn’t you know that Charlton Heston was part of the NRA!”

    Me: “Yes, I was aware of that.”

    Caller: “Then why the hell would anyone let him read the Bible? You know, I’ll bet he was working with this Al Qaeda people!”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m fairly certain that Charlton Heston is affiliated with an entirely separate group of religious extremists.”

    (I somehow never got written up for this.)

    God Loves Little Girls Who Stand Up For Others

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids

    (I’m a manager at a technology store and a lesbian. There are two men holding hands and giving each other little kisses every now and then, a woman who is trying her hardest not to look at them, and a mother and her five- or six-year-old daughter, all waiting in line. The two men get to the register.)

    Man #1: “Hi, we were wondering if you do wedding registry here?”

    Me: “No, sorry, we don’t. But my wife and I found when we were doing our wedding registry stuff that if you find a shop that doesn’t do a registry, just write down the SKU numbers so people can come in and—”

    Woman: “Come on, none of us have time to be dealing with your little gay pride bulls***! None of you should be getting married anyway. It’s a sin!”

    (I start to open my mouth, but the little girl stomps her foot and gives the woman the meanest look I have ever seen.)

    Little Girl: “That’s not nice! You say you’re sorry, right now!”

    (The woman is taken aback, but is not done with her rant.)

    Woman: “I will not apologize to sinners! What they are doing is wrong! God hates people like—”

    Little Girl: “No! Girls can like girls and boys can like boys. If God wanted boys and girls only to like each other then he would have made them only like each other! And don’t you know God loves everyone, even boys who like boys?!”

    (The woman and the little girl look at each other for a good 10 seconds until the woman drops her items on the floor and storms out. The mother, the gay couple, and I are all speechless. Like a total boss the little girl takes the expensive robotic toy from her mother and walks to the counter.)

    Little Girl: “I want this, please!”

    Man #2: “My soon to be husband and I would like to pay for that.”

    Me: “And wouldn’t you know it, we give 50% discounts to amazing little girls here!”

    Hard Of Hearing For Hard Customers

    | Wichita Falls, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear and hard of hearing in the other. Since I’ve been like this all my life, I’ve learned to adjust as well as I could. I have a habit of tilting my head and leaning in with my good ear. Most people don’t say anything or don’t even notice. I was serving this customer when this happened.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a…” *mumbles while looking down*

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t catch that.”

    Customer: *looks annoyed and mumbles it again*

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry. I’m hard of hearing, and I just can’t catch what you’re saying. Would you speak up just a bit, again I’m sorry.”

    (She finally looks up and rolls her eyes.)

    Customer: “What, they actually hire you people now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “If you can’t hear like a normal person then you shouldn’t be working!”

    Me: *starting to get upset* “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I like working, and since I can work, I’d rather do that than go on disability.”

    Customer: “Well since you can work just soooo well, then I guess you heard my order. And I’m not repeating it.”

    Me: “I didn’t hear it ma’am, and I don’t really want to just take a guess at your order.”

    Customer: *very loudly* “Then get me another server, you freak!”

    (Luckily my manager overheard and escorted her out, telling her not to come back. Thankfully, most people are actually really nice about it, and will just speak up.)

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