Category: Bigotry

This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

No Thick Crust For Crusty Old Bigots

| GA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

(A regular at our restaurant comes in while I’m working the register. He’s about 60 and always smells like alcohol. He isn’t the nicest person. It is my first time dealing with him.)

Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

(The regular walks the length of the counter, making sure he can see everyone in the back making pizzas.)

Me: “Sir? Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?”

Regular: “Sausage pizza.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price].”

Regular: *pointing* “Is HE gonna cut it?”

Me: “Who?”

(The regular jabs his finger towards the 19-year-old coworker cutting the pizzas. He happens to be our only black employee.)

Me: “Yes, sir. That’s his assigned station for the day. Is that a problem?”

Regular: “If he’s gon’ touch it, I don’t want it.” *walks out*

Manager: “What happened? Did he order anything?”

Me: “No. He said he didn’t want it if [Coworker] was gonna cut it.”

Manager: “Hey, [Coworker]. Do you know that guy?”

Coworker: “Nope. Never seen him in my life.”

Manager: “Wow. I knew he was a little rude but I didn’t know he was racist.”

Me: “Why do we keep serving him?”

Manager: “We’re not allowed to refuse service to anyone, according to company policy, unless he ‘physically or verbally assaults an employee or customer.'”

(A few days pass until the regular comes in again. My coworker is working again, cutting pizzas, and I’m the cashier. My manager isn’t there.)

Me: *with a friendly customer service voice and huge smile* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve your kind here.”

(The regular stares at me, confused. I just keep beaming that smile at him. Eventually he mumbles some racist and sexist slurs and walks out.)

Coworker: “HAVE A NICE DAY!”

Trying To Give A Dogged Defense

| NC, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I’m a receptionist at a small animal hospital. I take a phone call.)

Me: “[Hospital Name]. How may I help you?”

Client: “Is it possible that my dog is gay?”

Me: “Pardon?”

Client: “I think my dog is gay, and my husband is very homophobic. He says we can’t keep the dog if it is gay.”

Me: “What made you come to this conclusion, ma’am?”

Client: “He sniffs other male dogs inappropriately. It makes the whole family uncomfortable.”

Me: “Dogs often smell other dogs as a means of introduction, and they do smell each other’s hind end area to get acquainted. That is very common.”

Client: “How do I make him stop this?”

Me: “Is your dog neutered?”

Client: “No, my husband does not want him neutered. He says it’s not fair to the dog.”

Me: “Unaltered dogs can present these behaviors more frequently and sometimes can be more aggressive. It may help if you had him neutered.”

Client: *yelling to her husband* “She says the dog won’t be gay anymore if we chop his balls off…” *a few moments of bickering between the couple* “Well, we can’t keep the dog if he’s gay, so when can we get him neutered?”

Me: “Ma’am, neutering your dog will not stop him from sniffing other dogs. I was just suggesting that neutering him may calm him down and the behavior would be less frequent.”

Client: “Can you just tell my husband that if we go through with the surgery that he won’t be gay anymore? I’m afraid he is going to make me give him up. He is terribly afraid of gays! He won’t even let the dog sleep in the bed until this gets figured out…”

The Bald And The Beautiful, Part 2

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

(I’ve recently been diagnosed with leukemia and am due to undergo chemotherapy. I decide to have fun with my hair and dye it blue knowing it’ll be gone soon. I’m at my favorite coffee shop.)

Customer In Line: “Excuse me. Is there a manager on duty?”

Manager: “I’m the manager on duty. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer In Line: *points straight at me* “Can you have HIM escorted from the premises?”

Manager: “I can’t see anything he’s doing wrong, ma’am. May I ask why you want him to leave?”

Customer In Line: “Are you blind? Look at that punk. His kind should not be allowed in an establishment like this.”

(Having heard more than I wish to, I decide to step in.)

Me: “Is something about me bothering you?”

Customer In Line: “YES! Look at your hair! You little rebel punks need to have some respect.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. Should I get rid of it?”

Customer In Line: “It would be a start.”

Me: “Well, my chemotherapy treatment is on Wednesday, so odds are the next time you’ll see me it’ll be gone.”

(The customer goes pale and walks away without saying a word. The manager gives me a big hug and a $25 gift card!)

Related:
The Bald And The Beautiful

Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 4

| Cheyenne, WY, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Language & Words

(My family lives in a predominantly Caucasian town. We are half-Korean and half-Caucasian, but we were born in the US. While shopping with my sister, we are approached by an elderly lady and her younger friend.)

Elderly Customer: “Where are the cotton balls?”

Me: “I do not work for the store, but my sister and I can walk you to the display of cotton balls.”

Elderly Customer: “When did you come to the country? Your English is so good!”

(I answer with a smile, since I get asked this all the time.)

Me: “Well, actually, we were both born and raised here in this very town. Our father met our mother while he was stationed in Korea for the Air Force. We’re first-generation American on our mother’s side, but our father is from Kansas. Our family actually owns a ‘century farm’ there.”

(The elderly customer looks puzzled and her friend offers us an apology)

Customer’s Friend: “Sorry. I don’t know what is wrong with her today.”

My Sister: “It’s okay. Many people assume we aren’t American. We just correct them. It’s the nice thing to do.”

Elderly Customer: “You people are always so nice! Orientals are the nicest people, aren’t they? And you have such pretty skin and hair, too. Isn’t Chinese food the best? Those people are so nice at the restaurant, but you must know them since they’re Oriental, too!”

Customer’s Friend: *turning red* “They said they are American and they aren’t even Chinese!” *to us* “I am so sorry about all of this! Thank you for helping us find the cotton balls.”

(My sister and I smile at her and bid them both a nice day. As they walk away, the elderly customer turns back, smiles at us, and yells out with her hands open:)

Elderly Customer: “Welcome to America!”

Related:
Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3
Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

French Disconnection

| Quebec City, QC, Canada | Bigotry, Geography, History, Language & Words, Top

(I’m a customer in a very small boutique that specializes in selling Quebec-made items. It is a slow day and I am alone with the shop owner who helps me choose a gift. A man storms in and goes straight to the owner with a really angry face. The owner sees him and welcomes him in French.)

Owner: “Bonjour, Monsieur. Comment puis-je vous aider?” *Hi, sir. How can I help you?*

Customer: *loud and angrily* “ENGLISH! Do you even speak it?”

Owner: “Of course, sir! How are you today and how can I help you?”

Customer: “Finally! Someone who’s speaking English! I don’t know what the h*** is going on but everyone in this f***** town is speaking some kind of weird gibberish!”

Owner: “Actually, they are speaking French, sir, as do most people in the province of Quebec.”

Customer: “What the h***?! We are not in f***** France! This is America and people speaks god d*** American! I don’t understand what the fuss is about! Is this some kind of a weird hipster thing? Young people trying to be cool or whatever?!”

Owner: “I’m sorry, sir. Is there anything I can do to help you today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m looking for a poutine recipe book. Do you have any?”

Owner: “Of course! Right this way, sir.”

Customer: “Why do people want to speak French anyway? It is a dead language like Latin or Greek. We are in America and America is for American speakers! We don’t need no foreigners to come here and bring their weird language. And you shouldn’t encourage them by greeting American customers, in America, with any other language than American!”

Owner: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can no longer pretend that what you are saying is not wrong. Just so you know, people are speaking in French because Quebec was colonized by France more than 400 years ago. Quebec City is actually the oldest city in North America and has always been French. That is why everything from the street names to the billboards are in French! The Canadian dollar you’re holding is in both languages. Even the name poutine is French! Did you do any research before coming here?”

Customer: *hesitating* “Well, yeah! But the brochure was in English! How was I supposed to know that poutine was a French word. We have that in New York!”

Owner: “First of all, you can find pretzels in New York and those are German, or gelato which is Italian! It just proves that languages get mixed and influenced with time. That is also why there are cities in the United States that have French names, such as Baton Rouge or Des Moines! Those are all proofs that the French were present in North America hundreds of years ago! H***! Even the term ‘brochure’ is French!”

Customer: “That is irrelevant! You are all just lazy for not learning American! You live in the past, holding to some old bull-s*** language!”

Owner: “Well, I AM speaking English! And, by the way, it is ‘English’ and not ‘American’ because that language originated from England and not America. But I am also speaking French. How many languages do you speak?”

Customer: “I speak English and English only! I don’t need to know any other language!”

Owner: “Who’s being lazy, then?”

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