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  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Casting The First Stone Cold Glare

    | Anaheim, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Religion

    (I am visiting two good Jewish friends. They are gay men and engaged. We’re at a coffee shop for breakfast.)

    Friend #1: *holding Friend #2′s hand* “Hey [Friend #2], what do you want?”

    Friend #2: “[Store Brand Drink], babe.”

    Customer #1: *spies them holding hands* “You should be ashamed of acting like that in public! There are children and God-fearing people in here! Couple of sick f**s…”

    Friend #1: “We’re not f**s. We’re gay. Last time I checked, we’re not cigarettes or bundles of twigs.”

    Customer #1: “You’re going to Hell for being a couple of sinners! You’re going to burn!”

    Friend #2: “So what are you drinking, [My Name]?”

    Me: “[Store Brand Drink], please!”

    Friend #2: *to Customer #1* “What about you, mister? What are you drinking?”

    Customer #1: *splutters* “I am not accepting charity from some dirty, sick homosexual!”

    Friend #1: “If your Jesus was brave enough to dine with prostitutes, the least you could do is accept our ‘charity.’”

    Customer #1: “F*** you!”

    Friend #1 & #2: *deadpan* “No, thanks. You’re not my type.”

    Customer #1: *screams* “This whole place is going to Hell!” *storms out*

    Customer #2: *starts clapping* “That… was… AWESOME! Please, let me pay for your order!”

    Me: “Nah, thanks. I’ll get it for them.”

    Manager: “No, you won’t. This order is on the house!”

    Our Great DiscrimiNation, Part 3

    | Panama Beach, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Religion

    (I’m currently stocking food in the aisle, stacking some ramen noodles on the cart. I’m a born American of Islamic parents. I’m also Catholic. A customer approaches me with a security guard.)

    Customer: “See! He’s putting up square packages. They’re bombs! He’s going to blow up this store and kill us all to appease Muhammad!”

    (The guard looks at her like she’s an idiot.)

    Guard: “Ma’am, I hardly think that just because he’s doing his job he’s goin—”

    Customer: “No, his kind are all evil! The Lord is my shepherd and his is false!”

    (I’ve been trying to ignore her but finally get fed up. I stand up and walk over towards her, crossing my arms.)

    Me: “Being born of an Islamic family does not make me a member of the Islamic faith nor any more likely to inflict violence than anyone else with a proper upbringing. Furthermore, I’m Catholic so your bigoted claims that I’m doing something malicious in the process of doing my job are completely irrelevant and unfounded. Furthermore, by trying to use your religion as a cover for your irrational hatred of those who are different on you, I have no doubts that the Holiest is looking down on you right now with sorrow and contempt, and preparing you a special place in Hell for using his word to justify your hatred.”

    (The customer tries to sputter out a response but it’s clear she can’t find the words. I watch as her face turns red like she’s about to throw a tantrum, but she just stomps off instead, leaving me and the security guard standing there. I’m calming down and realize I shouted pretty much all of that, and there are people staring at me.)

    Me: “Well, that came out of nowhere.”

    Guard: “Dude, that was awesome! You shut her down cold.”

    (The customers who had walked over to see the commotion applauded me and defended me when my manager came to write me up for telling off a customer. I found out the next week that the woman had to be arrested after she made similar racist and untrue claims about a Japanese exchange student that was working in the deli, and threatened violence on him.)

    Related:
    Our Great DiscrimiNation, Part 2
    Our Great DiscrimiNation

    Filled With Creamy Justice

    | USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

    Me: “What kind would you like?”

    Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

    Me: “Tongs?”

    Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

    Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

    Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

    Disabled But Not Disarmed

    | UK | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Top

    (An early morning regular customer is a disabled woman in her 30s who dresses very gothic and always orders a coffee and then reads a book. A new customer I’ve never seen before comes to the serving counter.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry to hear that. What have we done wrong?”

    Customer: “You let that [disabled slur] not only sit here but she takes up two seats!”

    Me: “Please don’t use words like that. She’s a very good and quiet customer who uses the second chair to prop her walking stick against. Besides, this early in the morning there are plenty of seats.”

    Customer: “She’s offending us! She’s being abusive!”

    (I’m confused, because I’ve not seen the lady even move from her chair.)

    Me: “Er, what has she said?”

    Customer: “Nothing! She didn’t even apologise!”

    Me: “What on earth for?”

    Customer: “For reading one of those e-book things, and being lazy, and fat, and—”

    (I can see our regular struggling to her feet and limping over.)

    Me: “Please just stop. She’s not affecting you.”

    Customer: “She’s a lazy f****** bum. I bet she’s on f****** benefits!”

    (Our regular makes it to the counter.)

    Regular Customer:  ”Could I please have another coffee as I’ve finished the first one and haven’t finished the chapter I’m reading.”

    (She hands me a £10 note.)

    Regular Customer: “Please keep the change as a tip.” *turns to the complaining customer* “Darlin’, I work as a software engineer and you need to work on your d*** manners. Us disabled have a right to get coffee as well.”

    (The new customer stomped back to her table and sat there eating her breakfast and glowering at our regular, who paid no attention at all to it. We found she’d left another £5 behind as an additional tip for ‘dealing with that.’)

    Doesn’t Get The French Connection

    | BC, Canada | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (This takes place in western Canada. French and English are both official languages in Canada, but sometimes people forget that, apparently. My coworker is from Montreal and has a strong French accent, though his English is excellent. A customer decides to give him trouble because he doesn’t speak English as a first language.)

    Customer: “What the f***? You f***ers need to learn English before you come here! We only speak English in Canada!”

    Coworker: “Sir, I was born in Canada. I’m from Montreal. French is my first language, but I assure you I’m fluent in English.”

    Me: “Sir, I’m bilingual, too, because French is one of Canada’s official languages. If you’re going to be in Canada, why on Earth don’t you learn French?”

    (He grabbed his coffee and stomped off.)


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