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    Category: Bad Behavior

    At Lagerheads, Part 2

    | Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

    Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

    Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well, sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

    Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

    Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

    Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

    (I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

    Related:
    At Lagerheads

    A Not-So-Pretty Swell Day

    , | USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

    Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

    Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

    Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

    Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

    Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

    (I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

    Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

    Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

    Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

    (I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

    Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”

    Help’s Kitchen

    | TX, USA | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at the continental breakfast bar at a chain hotel. My job is to make sure the food is constantly filled and the tables are wiped down. A little boy, maybe three or four years old, is sitting with his parents. The boy is screaming, throwing food, and in general causing a racket. While wiping down tables, I hear their exchange.)

    Boy: “I don’t want to go!”

    (Despite his mother trying to reassure him, he continues to scream.)

    Father: “You know what? Fine. We’ll leave you here. Come on, honey.”

    (The father makes a big show of gathering his wife’s purse and their nearby bags. The boy looks extremely satisfied. I chime in.)

    Me: “Oh, no! Don’t do that!”

    Boy: “…Why?”

    Me: “That’s what my parents did to me! The hotel wouldn’t let me stay in my room, so they put me to work serving breakfast!”

    Boy: “They wouldn’t do that!”

    Me: “Well, I was too little to make food, so they had me crawl under the fridge and clean it because it was so dusty.”

    (I cast a glance toward the kitchens.)

    Me: “You could probably fit under there.”

    (Any skepticism on the boy’s face is long gone. He bursts into tears and apologizes to his parents. His mother calms him down. As the family leaves, the father mouths ‘thank you’ at me. I made a child cry, but I got a positive review online from the family!)

    Courage Under Fire, Part 2

    | Harrogate, Yorkshire, UK | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a supervisor at a car contract hire leasing company. The fire alarm goes off, so I call to my colleagues to apologise, hang up their calls, and leave NOW. One colleague is left as everyone files out. She is trying to talk over the very loud sound of the fire alarm.)

    Colleague: *to customer on phone* “I’m sorry, the fire alarm is ringing and we have to evacuate. If you give me your number, I’ll call you back after.”

    (I can hear the sound of irate shouting from the customer on the phone.)

    Colleague: “Yes, but the fire alarm is ringing and we’re evacuating. If you won’t give me your number, can you call back later?”

    (Sounds of more irate shouting.)

    Colleague: “No, that’s the fire alarm. I can’t turn it down.”

    (Sounds of yet more shouting.)

    Colleague: *to me* “I don’t know what to do.”

    Me: “Leave by the fire exit now.” *I take the phone*

    Me: “Hello, I’m [name] and I’m the supervisor. The fire alarm is ringing. It’s not a drill and I’m going to have to terminate this call.”

    Customer: “Where’s the f***ing b**** I was just talking to? I want her f***ing name. I will not be f***ing treated like this! It’s only a quick f***ing query, why won’t you f***ing answer it, you bunch of f***ing c****?!”

    Me: “This building is on fire as far as we can tell. Call back later.”

    Customer: “All I f***ing want is for someone to work out my early termination fee. That’ll only take five or ten minutes. What’s f***ing wrong with you people?”

    Me: “The fire brigade is here.” *sound of sirens outside* “Frankly, sir, and I mean no disrespect, but people like you are not worth dying for. Call back later.”

    Customer: “How dare you! I’m f***ing paying your f***ing—”

    (I hang up and run down the fire escape. A few hours later, once the fire on the roof was put out the customer called back. He was very apologetic; he’d told his wife about the outrage he’d suffered. She pointed out how much of a dick he had been. He decided she was right.)

    Related:
    Courage Under Fire

    Cut Price Cut-Throats

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (It is standard grooming salon policy to make sure the customer is completely satisfied with their dog’s haircut before they leave. If not, we will fix what we can. I am returning a dog to its owner.)

    Me: “Here he is, ma’am! Are you happy with the haircut?”

    Customer: *examining dog* “Hmm… well… he looks okay except for the hair above his eyes is still a little too long.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry about that. Would you like me to trim it a bit more? It’ll only take a minute.”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Okay then, if you’re sure, that will be [price].”

    Customer: “But that’s full price! You can’t charge me full price, because the hair above his eyes is too long!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I offered to trim it for you. I can still do that; it’ll just take a minute.”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Well then, it’ll be the same price I just told you.”

    Customer: “But that isn’t fair! The hair above his eyes is still too long! I want a discount!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ve offered to fix the hair above his eyes for you, but you’ve refused. I cannot give you a discount for something that I am willing and able to fix right here and now.”

    Customer: “Well, did I say too long? I meant it was too short! It’s too short! You can’t fix that now, can you!? I want a discount!”

    (She proceeded to throw a tantrum for the next ten minutes and only paid up and left when I threatened to call the police on her. Needless to say, she and her dog are no longer welcome back.)

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