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  • Category: Bad Behavior

    Preaching To The Converted

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Religion, Top

    (It’s the day of our church fete. I’m helping out on a busy stall while my father (who also happens to be the vicar) finishes up at his day job. A young man and woman are hanging about at the entrance, handing out pamphlets about atheism. They don’t seem to be causing trouble, so we don’t do anything about it. As the day drags on, we start to get complaints: apparently they’ve changed tack and are starting to harass with anti-religious taunts. I approach them with my friend.)

    Woman: *thrusting a pamphlet at me as I approach* “Coming out is better than going in! Break out of the delusion!”

    Me: “Uh, thanks. Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but do you mind tuning it down a notch? You’re upsetting some of the parishioners.”

    Man: “Ha! Typical. The vicar can’t do the job himself, so he sends a couple of brainwashed children to do it for him! Wake up and smell the lie!”

    Friend: *gesturing to me*“Okay, first off she is agnostic.”

    Man: “A cowardly atheist! Why the f*** are you here serving these fools? You’re only a Wikipedia page away from enlightenment!”

    Me: *getting slightly irritated* “I’d rather keep studying at university, and help as many people as possible rather than holding to a belief I can’t prove. As I said though, I respect what you’re trying to do, but you’re not going to convert anyone by attacking them,”

    Woman: “How dare you?! Atheism is a fact!”

    (Eventually, my father arrives from his lecture, dressed in a long windbreaker. He’s forgotten to take his reading glasses off, so he still looks quite scholarly. The young man spots him as he approaches us.)

    Man: “Hey, sir! You look way too smart to be here. What do you do?”

    My Father: *slightly taken aback* “Dean of Physics at the university.”

    Man: “Finally, an intelligent human being! Can you please tell these idiots the truth about their ‘Sky Fairy’?”

    My Father: “Oh, of course!”

    (He takes a step forward, then shudders, clutching at his head and turning bright purple. It’s realistic enough that everyone involved starts to panic, thinking he’s having a fit.)

    My Father: “No… impossible! Reason… failing… logic… melting away! Delusions too powerful to resist! Must…convert!”

    (With a dramatic gesture, he tears off his windbreaker, revealing his full vicar’s uniform, dog collar and all, beneath. The young man and woman look horrified, and begin to storm away.)

    My Father: “God bless!”

    Man: “F*** you!”

    Acting An Oaf About The Loaf

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (It has snowed quite severely in our area so today. We are short on staff and no deliveries have been able to reach us.)

    Customer: “You’ve run out of bread.”

    Me: “Yes, I’m terribly sorry; there is no fresh bread. All I can do is recommend some of our pre-mixed bread flour. You just add water and bake.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’ve run out of bread. I came here especially.”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I appreciate that, but our delivery lorry got stuck. I am sorry, but there’s very little I can do to assist you.”

    Customer: “But you’re [supermarket]! You should never run out of bread.”

    Me: “Ma’am, like I said, the roads are impassable. Our lorry couldn’t get here. I normally work at another store, but I couldn’t drive there today, so I am helping out here. Do you mind if I ask whether you walked or drove in?”

    Customer: “Well, I walked of course. Have you seen the roads? It would be like driving on pure white death out there.”

    Me: “Exactly.”

    (I give her time to process this information, bearing in mind what I have said about the delivery drivers.)

    Customer: *walks off, muttering* “…can’t believe [supermarket] has no bread!”

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3

    , | AB, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I arrive at work an hour and a half early because I forgot what time I started. I decide to sit in the lobby and have lunch before my shift. I notice that the trash can is in dire need of being emptied and that the front counter is busier than usual. I start to tie the bag up, when a customer screeches at me.)

    Customer:What do you think you’re doing?”

    Me: “Just changing the garbage, ma’am. It was full to overflowing and it was too busy for someone to leave their post and do it.”

    Customer: “You don’t have to do that young man! You’re not one of these dropouts that lives in their parent’s basements who can’t do anything better with their lives! What are you taking?”

    Me: “I’m planning on becoming an licensed practical nurse. But, ma’am, I don’t just go to school. I work to pay my bills. As a matter of fact, I live in a condo my mother owns. She does not live with me, and I pay rent to her. I pay for my electricity, my internet, and my heating. How do I earn the money for this you ask?”

    (At this point I remove my hat from my bag, put it on and remove my coat, revealing that I am dressed in my work uniform.)

    Me: “I work here, taking whatever hours I can get. A student without anything on their resume will take any job they can. ”

    (I point to one of my coworkers who is mopping the floors at the back of the store.)

    Me: “She’s a neuroscience student. Just like me she has bills to pay. Please remember in the future that people who work in fast food are not always drop outs, but more often than not students trying to fund their education. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take out this trash, unless you would like me to help extract your foot from your mouth first.”

    (Flustered and obviously embarrassed, the customer leaves the store in a hurry. My manager, who is also a classmate of mine, speaks with me once I return from the dumpsters.)

    Manager: “Technically, you could be fired for badmouthing a customer while on the job like that.”

    Me: “Technically, I’m not working right now! I haven’t clocked in, and my shift’s not for another half hour.”

    Manager: “Well then, brave citizen, how does free apple pie sound?”

    (I accepted, of course. You just don’t say no to free pie!)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Just Stole His Thunder

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I’m volunteering at my school’s concession stand at a football game. An elderly man comes up to the register. There’s a very long, impatient line.)

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [school name], home of the [mascot]! How may I help you?”

    Man: “I’ll have two hot dogs, a pretzel with cheese, nachos, a Diet Coke and a Sprite.”

    (I hand him the hot dogs and sodas. The kids in the back are still working on the nachos and pretzel.)

    Man: “Where’s my pretzel and nachos?”

    (Right as he says this, the pretzel is ready. It comes wrapped in wax paper with a cup of cheese, and I hand it to him.)

    Man: “What’s this?”

    Me: “A pretzel with cheese.”

    Man: “No! I want it in a tray!”

    (I take the pretzel back and ask for a nacho tray. The nachos are still not yet ready.)

    Me: “That’ll be $7.50, please.”

    Man: *has money out and I attempt to take it* “Hold on, don’t take my money until I get my prize!”

    Me: “Sir, there is at least $200 in cash in this register. If I wanted to steal money, I’d just grab some when nobody was looking, not from some guy who’s holding up a line!”

    Man: *takes his food and backs away sheepishly*

    Send Him To The Sister Store

    | Rahway, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (Our newest employee is a very sweet 18-year-old girl. She’s only been working for a week, when a customer starts giving her a hard time.)

    Rude Customer: “You f***ing b****! Can’t you do s*** right?!”

    18-year-old Cashier: *trying not to cry* “Sir, I’m sorry! You told me to take-”

    Rude Customer: “Forget it! I’ll go to [similar store nearby], where they actually hire decent people!”

    18-year-old Cashier: “I was only-”

    Rude Customer: “F*** you! You’re probably some b**** who’s never worked a day in her life! I bet you’re not even in school! Probably just waiting to get knocked up so you can live on welfare and sit on your lazy fat a** all day!”

    (He continues screaming at her and making disparaging remarks. I’m about to get the manager when a female customer walks in, sees what’s going on and speaks up.)

    Female Customer: “Hey, will you shut up and stop being such a jacka**?! What’s your problem?!”

    Rude Customer: “This b**** can’t do s*** right! She shouldn’t be working if she’s too stupid to do anything!”

    Female Customer: “That ‘b****’ is my big sister and if you call her that again, I’ll knock your f***ing head off!”

    Rude Customer: “Please! You’re probably about as worthless as her!”

    Female Customer: “Try me.”

    Rude Customer: “Crazy b****!” *runs out*

    (It turned out the female customer really was the cashier’s sister. We were scared the cashier wouldn’t come back after that day, but she did and told us the guy was smart to run away because her sister, who’s only 15, really could’ve injured him if she fought!)

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