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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Makes You Scarlett With Anger

    | PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    Customer #1: “My god, you look just like Scarlett O’Hara! Have you ever seen Gone With The Wind?”

    Me: *laughing* “Thanks! I actually haven’t seen it, but I want to eventually!”

    Customer #1: “Those blue eyes, and dark hair! You’re a dead ringer, Scarlett!”

    (Customer #1, who is a very petite, elderly woman, continues to refer to me as ‘Scarlett’ for all of her questions, calling me over to wherever she is in the store to evaluate different gift baskets, etc. She’s pretty awesome, and I am happy to oblige. Then, Customer #2 enters the store. He is a tall, broad shouldered, grumpy middle-aged man. I leave Customer #1 to go back behind the register.)

    Customer#2: “Where the **** are the cheese pretzels?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we are out of those until next year. With expansion—”

    Customer#2: “That’s bulls***! I have been coming here every other week for two months, and everyone keeps telling me different times!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir! I was ju-”

    Customer#2: “I think all of you are full of s***!”

    (Suddenly, Customer #1 comes flying around the corner and up to my register.)

    Customer #1: *to Customer #2* “Do you even know who you are talking to?! Don’t you dare talk to her like that! You should be ashamed of yourself, you great big lout!”

    (Customer #2 clearly was not expecting Customer #1 to yell at him, and sheepishly retreats out of the store but still grumbling.)

    Me: “Wow, I’m so sorry about this whole thing, ma’am. I have got to ask, weren’t you scared? That guy was huge!”

    Customer #1: “Frankly Scarlett, I don’t give a d*&%!”

    (I cracked up laughing and gave her my discount for getting rid of my troublesome customer!)

    Playing Games With Your Feelings

    | OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I have only been working at the store for a few weeks. I also happen to be a slightly anxious person. Phone calls tend to stress me out, as I can’t really interpret tones of voice. A customer calls, and I answer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of store]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Yeah, hi, are you releasing [popular upcoming game] early?”

    Me: *confused* “Um, we’re having a midnight release of that game, yes.”

    Caller: “No, no. I mean, you know how you guys get new games before the release date? Can you give it to me before the release date if I give you extra money?”

    Me: “Uh, no, sir, I can’t do something like that. That would be illegal.”

    Caller: “I don’t like your tone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Caller: “There’s no reason for you to talk to me like a dumb f***.”

    Me: “I’m, I’m really sorry if I’ve offended yo—”

    Caller: “Is there someone else I can talk to?”

    Me: “Um, yes, sir. Let me get my coworker.”

    (I pass the phone to my coworker, who, though she is the senior employee, is younger than me, and generally very sweet and charming. I have never really seen her angry. She speaks to the customer for a few minutes, and then she puts the phone down.)

    Me: “Is everything okay?”

    Coworker: “What a jerk! He demanded to speak to the manager, and when I told him that the manager wasn’t in today, he said to tell you that you were a dumb c*** and a stupid b****!”

    Me: “Oh. Am I going to be in trouble?”

    Coworker: *smiles brightly* “Oh, honey, no! You did great! My only regret is that he hung up before I could tell him to f*** off!”

    Trying To Can The Idea

    | Hershey, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (At our store, we have to see an ID card before we accept a check. Most of the cashiers are new, however, and lax about asking for ID.)

    Me: “Alright, before I process you check, may I please see your ID?”

    Older Customer: “Oh? When did this start?”

    Me: “It’s a part of our store rules, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask this.”

    Older Customer: “Well, no one has ever asked me before!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We’re always supposed to ask for ID.”

    Older Customer: “Still, no one has asked before!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but I have to follow the rules.”

    Older Customer: “Well, this is awful! You don’t know how hard this is on old people!”

    (She pulls out her wallet, opens it, and moves one thin piece of plastic to get to her ID. However, without warning, she grabs a can from the next customer’s order and chucks at my head.)

    Me: *dodges* “Ma’am, what are you doing?!”

    Older Customer: “You see what you did there? I could never do that today. What you did there is like what I go through getting to my ID!”

    At Lagerheads, Part 2

    | Reading, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working late at a local pizzeria. I’m already pretty aggravated due to having to cover someone else’s shift who called off that night, but I have managed to keep my cool. A customer calls in on the phone to place an order for delivery. He sounds fairly plastered already but is polite enough so I begin to take his order.)

    Me: “What can I get for you tonight, sir?”

    Customer: “I’d like two plain pizzas, a cheese steak stromboli, an order of hot wings, and a six pack of Heineken.”

    Me: “Sir, we can’t deliver beer.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Well, sir, we just don’t. It’s against company policy. Now, can I get your name and address so we can send your food out to you?”

    Customer: “Sure, but I’d like to change the order.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem, what’s it going to be?”

    Customer: “Well I said two plain pizzas, but now I’d like you to reach down your pants and tear out a large handful of pubic hair and toss it on top of my pizzas.”

    Me: “Not a problem, sir; that’s complimentary and is included in each and every one of our meals free of charge.”

    Customer: “F*** you. I’ll be in to pick it up shortly.”

    (I figured he was way too drunk to drive over, so I didn’t make his order. I was right.)

    Related:
    At Lagerheads

    A Not-So-Pretty Swell Day

    , | USA | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (During the lunch rush I am making fries. Since I am pregnant and the salt makes my hands swell, I take off my wedding ring.)

    Me: “Here are your fries, sir! Hot out of the fryer.”

    Customer: “Thanks girl, you’re pretty sweet. I’d ask you out if you weren’t so fat.”

    Me: “Thank you for the compliment, but I am not fat. I’m pregnant.”

    Customer: “What?! You aren’t pregnant. You’re just being prude.”

    Me: “I highly doubt my husband would agree with you.”

    (I take the ring out of my pocket briefly to show him.)

    Customer: “If you’re married, why don’t you wear your ring? You looking around for a new man? Because I might be available after you lose weight.”

    Me: “No, sir. I’m currently not wearing my ring because the salt makes my hands swell up and it cuts off circulation.”

    Customer: “Don’t be stupid! Salt only makes girls swollen when they’re pregnant!”

    (I nod at him slowly and he frowns, realizing what just happened.)

    Customer: “Well… you’re not that pretty anyway!”

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