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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Cold Hard Cash(iers)

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My mother is a cashier at a popular liquor store. I stop by to drop off her lunch. The credit card machines have shut down and the manager is in the back trying to get them running. The employees have let their customers know they will have to pay cash until then. Some customers leave for another store; most went next door to the bank ATM to get cash. One customer, however, isn’t particularly happy about this.)

    Customer: “So, you’re telling me I have to walk all the way over to the ATM to get cash?”

    (Note: the bank is right next door.)

    Mom: “I’m sorry, sir, but the credit card machine is down for the moment. You can go to the ATM or go to another store.”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Fine.”

    (He leaves the store, and comes back a few minutes later with cash in his hand.)

    Customer: “I had to pay three dollars to get money out of that ATM! I better get a discount!”

    Mom: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t have that authority.”

    Customer: “I don’t care! I better get one!”

    (He picks up a $50 Scotch and returns to my mom’s register; she rings him up.)

    Customer: “Hey, you didn’t give me my discount!”

    Mom: “Sir, I’m sorry but I can’t give you three dollars off because you made the choice to go to the ATM.”

    Customer: “B****, give me three dollars off!”

    (The store goes absolutely silent, and everyone is watching the exchange.)

    Me: “Don’t talk to my mother that way.”

    Mom: “I’ll tell you what I can do.” *takes scotch and puts it under her stand* “I can refuse to sell this to you.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager!”

    Mom: “Fine.” *calls manager*

    Manager: *comes over* “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee said, and I quote, “I won’t sell you s***!”

    Me: “No, she didn’t!”

    Mom: “Sir, I did not use that language towards you.”

    Customer #2: “I’m a witness, and she didn’t say that.”

    Customer: “I WANT A DISCOUNT!”

    Manager: “Sir, leave. Now.”

    Customer: “Give me my discount!”

    Manager: “If you don’t leave right now I will call the cops.”

    Customer: “Fine, call the cops! I don’t care!”

    (The manager, Customer #2 and I, pull out our cell phones.)

    Customer: “I’m never coming back!” *runs out of the store*

    Me: “What was his problem?”

    Customer #2: “That guy needs to pull up his skirt.” *smiles at my mom* “I’ll keep coming back for the wonderful customer service, and tough-as-nails cashiers!”

    Tip Of The Entree Iceberg

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (It is a busy Saturday night. During the dinner rush, I have been dealing with a table of two 20-something year old men. The blonde one has found something to complain about every time I’ve walked by while the brown-haired one just blushes and stays quiet. They’ve finished their meal.)

    Blonde Man: “Are you new here?”

    Me: “No, sir. I’ve been a waitress here for two years and three years at [other restaurant] prior.”

    Blonde Man: “Then you have no excuse for how terrible this service was. The salad was wilty, and the entree was way too cold, and you were nowhere to be found. Plus, this place is far too noisy; I could barely hear myself speak! Honestly, I get better service at a fast food place.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. While there isn’t much I can do about the noise, I did offer to bring you different food before, but you said no.”

    Blonde Man: *waves me off* “Just bring me the check, and try not to be so slow about it for once.”

    (I go and get the check, but when I return, the brown-haired man stands up and hands me a $20 bill.)

    Brown-haired Man: “Here, this is your tip. He wasn’t going to give you one. As a former waiter myself, I thought you were doing a perfectly fine job. My food was great, and the service was fast even though you’re so busy right now.”

    (He turns to his blonde companion.)

    Brown-haired Man: “People like you made my job so much worse, especially for making us work that much harder for no tip. So thanks for the meal, but you can go ahead and delete my number because there will be no second date. And by the way, potjevleesch is supposed to be served cold, you idiot.”

    (With that, he left the restaurant without his date. It made the whole night worth it, to see that blonde man speechless for once.)

    Checking In On Checking Out

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (A customer has been using a self-checking machine. Half way through, she decides she doesn’t want a certain book and takes it back to the shelves. I’ve been watching her, so I know that she has actually checked the book out to herself before putting it back on the shelf.)

    Me: “Excuse me! Can I just get that book from you, and I’ll check it back in? Don’t worry about shelving it; I’ll take care of that.”

    Customer: “No, no. I don’t want this.”

    Me: “I understand, but I just need to check it back in. Otherwise, it still appears as being out on your card.”

    Customer: “But I don’t want it.”

    Me: “I know. I understand. I’m not asking you to take it. I just want to check it in.”

    Customer: “Are you daft? I. Don’t. Want. This. Book.”

    Me: “Right. Look. If you don’t let me check this book in now, in four weeks time you are going to receive a letter informing you that this book is overdue.”

    Customer: “No, I won’t. I haven’t borrowed it.”

    Me: “Yes you have!”

    Customer: “I don’t understand how someone as stupid as you got a job here. See those?” *points to security gates*Those are what check the books out to me. If I don’t carry the book through there, they aren’t on my card. Get it?!”

    Me: *giving up* “You’re too right, ma’am. Sorry to have bothered you.”

    (She leaves with a smug look on her face. Then I pick up the book and carry it out to my desk.)

    Coworker: “You aren’t going to check that in, are you?”

    Me: “H*** no.”

    (Sure enough, five weeks later the customer comes in ranting and raving about ‘never having borrowed that book’. I bring it out from my desk and put it in front of her.)

    Me: *shrugs* “Is this the book?”

    Customer: “F***ing b****.”

    There Is No Analog For This Conversation

    | ME, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I work for a large cable company that has recently switch a few stations from analog to digital format, freeing up space for more channels and internet bandwidth. I work at one of the retail stores where customers can pick up adapters to get the channels back.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Where the f*** did Lifetime go?”

    Me: “Oh! You must be talking about our digital switch over. Basically, we’ve switched these channels over and we’re giving out these adapters to get them instead, and they’re free until 2015.”

    Customer: “Why would you do this anyway? You people are always doing this; you’re always trying to screw the customer!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, this is to allow for more channels, faster internet speeds, and future technologies as we get them, so it’s really for your benefit.”

    Customer: “The internet is for the devil!”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The internet is for the devil! I won’t use it!”

    Me: “Well… I know that a lot of other people use the internet for business and school and for other good purposes, but I can understand where you’re coming from. Would you like to pick up your adapter today?”

    Customer: “No, I think I’m just going to get dish. You charge too much anyway. How does that dish work?”

    (I play it cool, and explain how it works and the differences between the services as unbiased as I can be.)

    Customer: “Ok, I’ll have to think about it all. I’m not sure what I want to do. Everyone’s screwing me over. I’m going to be dead soon, did you know that I was dying? Yep, I won’t be here next year. Then when I was pulling in here that a**hole cut me off. Can you believe the nerve? He almost killed me? I f***ing flipped him off. I wish he’d tried following me. I’d have shown him something if he started following me. Just like those d*** kids going 80 miles an hour down my road!”

    (This continues for another 10 minutes without pause. However, at the end of everything she got everything off her chest and I actually got a smile out of her at the end! I claim victory.)

    Fresh Bread, Stale Attitude

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work at a piroshky bakery and have just started my morning shift. A customer comes in with a very obnoxious, self-important attitude.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir! What can I get for you today?”

    Self-important Customer: “What’s your freshest thing?”

    Me: “Well, we just opened so everything is fresh out of the oven. I could warm one up if it’s not warm enough for you.”

    Self-important Customer: *shakes his head* “No, I don’t want it warmed up.”

    (He looks behind me to our rack where we put our piroshkies until we need to set them out.)

    Self-important Customer: *points to rack* “What’s that there on the top?”

    Me: “Those are our potato mushrooms, sir, although they’ve been out of the oven about the same time as our others so it’d be easier if I just got you one from—”

    Self-important Customer: “No, I want one from back there.”

    (I mentally sigh but go ahead and do as he asks since it’s a slow morning and there’s only a couple people in line. I turn to grab his order but he stops me.)

    Self-important Customer: “Wait!” *points at rack again* “What are those?”

    (There are at least 7 different types of piroshkies on the rack.)

    Me: “Um, which ones, sir?”

    Self-important Customer: “Those ones!”

    (I look at him quizzically.)

    Self-important Customer: “The ones on the second row!”

    Me: “Oh, those are our Moscows. They’ve got Bavarian cream and Cream of Wheat in it which gives it—”

    Self-important Customer: “I’ll take one of those.”

    (We haven’t set one out yet, so my supervisor has to take out the whole pan and sprinkle powdered sugar on it. I grab everything for him and bag it up.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Is there anything else I can get for you?”

    Self-important Customer: “No, that’ll be all.”

    (He pays and leaves. I run through a couple more customers until I get to a young guy.)

    Young Guy: *saunters up to the counter* “Hey so, uh, what’s the freshest thing you got here?”

    Me: “Pretty much everything just came out the oven.”

    Young Guy: “Yeah, but I want really fresh, and like, potato mushroom.”

    (I sort of stare at him then move to grab a potato mushroom. He starts laughing.)

    Young Guy: “I’m just kidding with you, man. Did you see that guy?” *begins to imitate him* “I want the freshest thing you got!” *goes back to normal* “You’re in a bakery in the morning, man, everything’s fresh!”

    (At this point everyone in the bakery is laughing. I get his order, still chuckling, and bag everything up for him.)

    Me: “That’s going to be [price], please.”

    (He pays and my supervisor steps up.)

    Supervisor: “Wait, give him one for free. That was too funny!”

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