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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Pranks For Breakfast

    , | Wheat Ridge, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m 16, working in McDonald’s over the summer, and for this particular shift I’m taking orders in the drive-thru. It’s about three in the afternoon.)

    Me: “Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’ll have an Egg McMuffin.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, that’s one of our breakfast items, and we stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll just have some hash browns.”

    Me: “Sadly, that’s another breakfast item.”

    Customer: “Hot cakes!”

    Me: “Breakfast item again, sir.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll have a Whopper with cheese.”

    Me: “I’d be happy to serve you one of those, but they’re sold at the Burger King a block down the road. We have Big Macs.”

    Customer: “I’ll just have a drink. Medium Frosty, please.”

    Me: “And for that, you’ll have to go to the Wendy’s across the street. We just have regular milkshakes.”

    Customer: “Medium Coke, then.”

    Me: “Lovely! That’ll be $1.08. Please pull around to the first window.”

    (I used the moment it took the car to pull around to take a deep breath before I turned to take the customer’s money, and saw him looking back at me with the biggest grin ever, laughing at himself.)

    Me: “Hi, Dad.”

    The Fall Of The Call

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. What can I get you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want a large pepperoni pizza, no pepperoni, and six orders of fries.”

    Me: *click*

    (Five minutes later:)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I want a dozen cheeseburgers, hold the cheese, and four fries.”

    Me: *click*

    (Five minutes later:)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [National Pizza Chain]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you have gum?”

    Me: “No, but I do have caller id, and will be giving your number to the police if you call here again.”

    Caller: *click*

    To Hang Up Would Be Poetic Justice

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working the closing shift in the electronics department, which is in charge of video games and the photo lab in addition to the actual electronics section. We’re currently running an upgrade on our photo lab’s software, and I’m expecting a call from corporate to check up on the progress of the upgrade. An outside call comes in on my phone. It’s not corporate but a male customer who sounds perfectly normal. I am also male.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what’s the price on your Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare?”

    Me: “I can check on that for you. I think it’s $59.99, but I’ll be able to confirm that for you in just a second…”

    (As I’m walking over to the video game section, the customer begins reading me some of the most bizarre, suggestive, awful love poetry you’ve ever heard and starts making advances. I assume he wrote the poetry himself. This freaks me out, and I end the call immediately and call my team leader to let her know what had just happened.)

    Me: “Hey, if you hear that I just disconnected a call, I did. Some guy called and started reading me poetry.”

    (My team leader hears this and starts cracking up.)

    Team Leader: “What? You should’ve transferred that call to me! I would’ve had fun with the guy!”

    (‘Poetry Guy’ became an inside joke around the store. Every time I got a call from another one of my coworkers that night, they ‘read’ me poetry!)

    One More ‘One More’

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (The FAQ on our event website states that the maximum group size is 10.)

    Customer: “What is the maximum group size?”

    Me: “10.”

    Customer: “We have a group of 11; can you make an exception just this once?”

    Me: “We will do our best to accommodate your group, but I can’t make guarantees.”

    Customer: “So is that a yes?”

    Me: “We will do our best. I don’t see it being a problem.

    Customer: “Okay, great. And actually, we have 12 in our group, but what’s one more?”

    How To Get Ahead Of The Sales

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays

    (It is the middle of the Black Friday rush. One of my coworkers approaches me looking particularly disheveled.)

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Coworker: “You know it’s Black Friday when you have to pick up discarded items from all over the floor… and while doing so, a customer tries to step on your head to avoid taking a few steps around you…”

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