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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Bad Behavior

    Even A Ninja Has To Work

    | Manhattan, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m waiting in line. The customer in front of me has two unruly boys.)

    Boy #1: *to his brother* “Is this for us?”

    Boy #2: “I think so!”

    (They proceed to stuff candy from the shelves into their pockets.)

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; you need to pay for those.”

    Boy #1: “Poop!”

    Boy #2: “Don’t say that. It’s a dirty word.”

    (They empty their pockets.)

    Boy #1: “What if I just take one?”

    Cashier: “You still have to pay for it.”

    Boy #1: “Poop!”

    (He pulls an orange from his mother’s shopping cart. He throws it at the cashier, who catches it without looking up.)

    Boy #2: “How did you do that?!”

    Cashier: “Oh, all the staff here are ninjas.”

    (Panicked, the boys take a few more pieces of candy out of their pockets. As he starts ringing me up, I hear him muttering to himself.)

    Cashier: “Don’t play baseball, they tell me; it’s a waste of time. Just get a job, they say! That’ll teach you what’s important.”

    Acting Like A Print-cess

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes in pulling a suitcase on wheels.)

    Customer: “My daughter told me that if I bring in my old computer and my printer, I can trade my computer for an iPad, and you’ll set it up with my printer.”

    Me: “Well, we don’t do trade-ins here, but I can show you how to get the paperwork started online.”

    Customer: “No, no, no, never mind. Just let me buy the iPad, and set up this f****** printer.”

    Me: “Alright, so, just to let you know, we don’t sell this printer here. None of us are going to be trained on it, but I’ll be happy to take a look, and see if we can get it up and running for you.”

    Customer: “No! F*** that, I have lost my patience! I am a member of Mensa! Get me someone intelligent to talk to!”

    Me: “I can get you someone else, but I can tell you, no one else is going to be trained on that printer either. Like I said, I can definitely give it a shot; we may be able to figure it out.”

    Customer: “My daughter is an engineer. She told me you would take this piece of s*** laptop, and help me set the printer up.”

    Me: “And I’m definitely going to do my best to set up the printer, but we don’t have the proper equipment here to recycle your old machine; I’m sorry.”

    (The customer finally agrees. After half an hour, we have the printer up and running with her new iPad. She calms considerably. As she is leaving, she is on the phone to her daughter.)

    Customer: “They got my printer working! And I only used the f-word once!”

    Why Nurses Need Hazard Pay

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m a senior nurse. A patient has been caught leaving her room to go to her car and smoke. After repeated warnings on numerous occasions, her doctor finally draws the line.)

    Doctor: “If she’s well enough to go and smoke, I think she’s well enough to be discharged.”

    (The patient is enraged at this, and starts yelling.)

    Patient: “I need my cigarettes! You’re discriminating against me!”

    (She finally leaves. I get called by another nurse to her former room several minutes later.)

    Nurse: “You have to see this.”

    (The patient’s room is completely smeared with feces; on the bed, in the bathroom sink, all over the walls. There’s even a pile just inside the door that we almost step on.)

    Me: “What kind of person does something like this?! It’s not human!”

    Nurse: “If you’re that upset about not getting your nicotine, something is wrong with you!”

    Related:
    Why Tech Support Needs Hazard Pay

    Putting The Cuss Into Repercussions

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I overhear an employee and an older customer, who is accompanied by her grandson. She is trying to return an expensive toy.)

    Employee: “I can offer you a replacement or gift voucher, but without the receipt I can’t give you a cash refund.”

    Customer: “No, you’ll give me a refund in cash.”

    Employee: “I can’t do that without the receipt. If the toy is faulty I can replace it for you, or you can choose something else.”

    Customer: “No, you’ll give me £120 in cash, out of the till. End of.”

    Grandson: “Nana, you’re not allowed to say ‘end of’ to people.”

    Customer: “Shush, I’ll say what I like. I’m allowed to say what I like. They just don’t want to give me £120 out of the f****** till.”

    Grandson: “You’re not allowed to say the f-word, Nana!”

    Customer: “Shut up.”

    Employee: “I’m really sorry, but without your receipt I can’t do a cash refund. If you come back with your receipt we’ll be able to give you a refund.”

    Customer: “F*** off!”

    Grandson: *to employee* “I’m sorry my nana said that. She doesn’t know you’re not allowed to say the f-word.”

    Real Sugar Can’t Be Beet

    | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes up with two packages of[energy drink].)

    Customer: “Is this sugar free?”

    Me: “Nope, afraid not. The sugar free usually has a lighter coloring on the box.”

    (The customer repeats his question twice more, and I repeat my answer twice more. Finally, he decides to buy the two packages of normal [energy drink].)

    Me: “All right, here’s your receipt!”

    Customer: “Wait here. I’ll go get the sugar free…”

    (Puzzled, I keep an eye on his groceries. When he returns, he takes the normal [energy drink] out of the bag, putting the new packages in the bag.)

    Me: “Sir, didn’t you want to purchase those, too?”

    Customer: “No! I told you, I was going to get sugar free! You rang me up for them!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you three times that you were buying the regular kind. If you want those instead, you’re going to have to do an exchange.”

    Customer: “No! I told you! I wanted sugar free! I have no time for this!”

    (I call over my supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “What’s up?”

    (I explain the situation, calling it a slight problem in communication.)

    Customer: “I told her; I’m very busy! I have no time for this!”

    Supervisor: “Sir, in the time it took me to walk over here, you could’ve had this done and been on your way. I’ll take care of this on another register.”

    (Without a word further, my supervisor takes the customer’s groceries and brings them to another register. A regular customer is behind the other customer, and has witnessed the whole thing.)

    Regular Customer: “Geez! People sure are awful, huh?”

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