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    Category: Bad Behavior

    A Cut And (Blow)Dry Case Of Mistaken Identity

    | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m in the waiting room of a salon. A man walks in and approaches the receptionist. Alarmingly, he’s carrying a claw hammer.)

    Man: “I need to see [name].”

    Receptionist: “Let me see… do you know what she’s here for?”

    Man: “B**** works here.”

    Receptionist: “I’m sorry, but no one works here by that name.”

    Man: “She tell you to cover for her? Get her a** down here now.”

    Receptionist: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Man: “Alright, you get her fat a** down here now, or I’ll learn you a thing or two. Five… four… three… two… one!”

    (The second he hits one, he swings the hammer into the desk. The receptionist screams and takes cover. The man swings the hammer and yells.)

    Man: “Try to take my kids from me? B****, you’re gonna get fired for sure now, come out before someone gets hurt!”

    (The police respond quickly and subdue the guy. As the cops take our statements, the man is raving about how his ex-wife has taken his kids, and how this showed her, and how her boss here would fire her. The kicker? All the employees agreed they had never heard of the woman!)

    They Are Rotten To The Corps

    | MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Military, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working late at my video store. Two customers enter, bad mouthing the military. As I prepare to suggest they keep it to themselves, one of the customers in the store beats me to it; a little 4′ 9″ woman I know to be a regular. She plants herself in front of the louder of the two guys, sticks out her hands and challenges them both.)

    Woman: “Do you actually know anyone in the military, or have you ever been in the military?”

    Large Guy: *mumbles something* “…not that desperate for money…” *mumbles*

    Woman: “Well my husband is a Marine, so you shut up!”

    (She kicks him in the knee. He screams and leaves, taking his buddy with him. As I make my way to speak with her, the only other customer in the store, a big bear of a guy, introduces himself to her.)

    Other Customer: “Hi, I’m a former Navy Seal. I was on my way to take him apart, but I liked your way better!”

    Worst Superhero Name Ever

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at the meat/seafood counter of my store. I greet my first customer of the day.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a six lb. rib roast, please.”

    Me: “Certainly. Let me go and pass your order on to the butcher.”

    (I go back into the cutting room. The butcher says it will take about ten minutes because of the other order he has to fill first. I go back to the counter.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, he can have your order ready in ten minutes. If you want, you can do some more shopping and come back later. We’ll set your order up here on the counter when it’s ready for you.”

    Customer: “Are you being a smart-a**?!”

    Me: “Um… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. Being. A. Smart-a**!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand what the problem is.”

    Customer: *in a mocking tone* “Oh, look at me! I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy! I’ll put your order right up here on the counter! Right here, all nice and neat, because I’m Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    Me: “Uh… that’s just what we do, ma’am. If someone places an order we set it on the counter for them to come and pick up when it’s ready.”

    (She gives me the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen, and stomps away.)

    Co-worker: “Welcome to work, Mr. Big Shot Meat Guy!”

    Pre-pay Or The Highway

    | Independence, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just sold a prepaid cell phone to a customer.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. Your payment has gone through, and your next payment is due in 90 days.”

    Customer: “What? You’ve got to be kidding me! You mean I have to pay every 90 days or they shut me off?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. That’s how the prepaid plan works. You have to put at least $20.00 on your account every 90 days to keep your service on.”

    Customer: “In that case I don’t want it anymore! You take the phone and just give me my money back! I’ve had this phone for years and never had to do this!”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir, but we just accept payments for the parent company. Once the payment is sent, you have to talk to them to try and get a refund. There is nothing I can do for you.”

    (This goes on for about ten minutes, just going in circles with him. By this time I have five new customers in the store. Two of the new customers are a pair of very large Samoan brothers who happen to be regulars. Just then, the customer throws his cell phone at me.)

    Customer: “You take this d*** thing back! I don’t want it anymore!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot keep your phone. It’s yours and you need to take it with you.”

    Customer: “You are s***! Your store is s***! This phone is s***! I will bury you! I will sue you all until all of you don’t even have a cardboard box to live in! I will hunt down your family’s and make you all pay! And f*** this d*** phone!”

    (He throws his phone onto the floor, shattering it into pieces.)

    Customer: “I’m going to wait outside until your shift is over, and you’ll get what’s coming to you!”

    (As he says all this, he hasn’t noticed the Samoan brothers who have been behind him in the back of the store. One of the brothers finally walks up and taps the irate customer on the shoulder.)

    Samoan #1: “Hey little man, I think it’s time to go.”

    Customer: “Who the h*** do you think you are talking—”

    (He turns as he’s talking to see the brothers, who are about two feet taller and three feet wider than he is. He turns the palest color I have ever seen a human being become.)

    Samoan #2: “As my bro said, time to go!”

    Customer: “But they are trying to rip me off! Trying to rob me! This is all BS! I am not going anywhere!”

    Samoan #1: “You walk out, or we toss you out. Your choice.”

    Customer: “I won’t leave until this p**** gives me my money!”

    (They each grab an arm, lift him three feet off the ground, and toss him backwards out of the doors. The rest of the customers then begin to clap and cheer for them. I make sure that anytime they come in after that, they get the full employee discount on everything they bought.)

    Throwing A Fit

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (At our sub shop, when the customer orders a sub, it reaches the person who is wrapping it up. They wrap it up and then throw it back to the cashier or the customer. Usually, this is met with ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aww’s’.)

    Me: “Hello, and welcome to [subshop]. What can we get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah… can I get a one, a five, and a ten?”

    Me: “Sure. Will there be anything else today? Chips? Drinks?”

    Customer: “Nope.”

    (The first sub is made. The wrapper catches the attention of the customer, and asks if he’s willing to catch. The customer nods and catches the sub. At this point, I have him rung up.)

    Me: “That’ll be $13.05.”

    (The customer hands me his credit card. The second sub is done, and the wrapper throws it. The customer catches it and nods his thanks.)

    Me: “Okay. You’re all set! The last sub will be with you in a sec.”

    Wrapper: “Ready?”

    Customer: “Throw the sub at me again, and I’ll shove it up your a**.”

    (Shocked, we say nothing and pass the sub up the line to him. He takes it and leaves with his other subs without another word.)

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