• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Bad Behavior

    Daddy Doesn’t Brat An Eyelid

    | Southampton, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (While working at the cafe, I am wearing a cream-coloured top done up at the front with a ribbon. A father and daughter (who only looks to be around seven) sit next to the table I am cleaning.)

    Daughter: “Daddy! I want to be like her! So skinny!”

    (I’m a size 12, and the top is definitely showing what little curves I have.)

    Father: “Uh-huh…”

    Daughter: “But I hate that top! Such a horrid colour! Miss, why are you working with such a horrible top on?”

    Me: “Well, uh… I rather like this top. It keeps me cool in the warm weather.”

    (At this point, I go to take some plates in. When I come back to wipe the table down, the daughter has a ketchup bottle in her hand.)

    Daughter: “You know, I was thinking: that top would look better in red, miss. Let me change it for you!”

    Me: “I’d rather you didn’t!”

    (The daughter gets up with the ketchup in her hand, and eyes my top threateningly as I pull away from the table as quickly as I can.)

    Daughter: “But daddy ALWAYS lets me do what I want! You have to do so, too!”

    Me: “Erh… sir, please tell your daughter to calm down.”

    Father: “Don’t you DARE tell me how to raise my daughter. Some slutty waitress like you… I bet you have kids with no father in sight!”

    (Thankfully, my manager intervened at that point and escorted the father and daughter out!)

    Hear Her Evil, See Her Evil, Speak Her Evil

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (One of my coworkers has partial hearing loss in her right ear, and has a medical condition that has caused her to lose almost all of her peripheral vision in her right eye. On this day, she’s putting away a cartload of items and just happens to be working directly under a speaker. A customer approaches her from the right, and speaks very, very softly.)

    Customer: *very softly* “Excuse me; where are your bedsheets?”

    Coworker: *doesn’t hear her and keeps working*

    Customer: “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!”

    (Suddenly, the customer KICKS my coworker in the hip. The kick is so hard that my coworker has to catch herself so she doesn’t fall over.)

    Customer: “How DARE you ignore me?!”

    Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I didn’t see you.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! I was standing right here! Everyone has peripheral vision!”

    Coworker: “Except for people with vision problems, ma’am. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Then you should’ve heard me!”

    Coworker: “I also have partial hearing loss, and that…” *points up at the ceiling* “…is a speaker.”

    Customer: “Well, you should be checking every direction for customers every five seconds!”

    Coworker: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with? I don’t actually work on the sales floor; I work in the stock room, and I have to get back…”

    (My coworker ends up helping the customer and taking her to the bedsheets section. However, later I hear the customer complaining to my manager.)

    Customer: “…and she just ignored me! And then she kicked me and called me a b****!”

    Manager: “I’m so, so so sorry! I’ve never seen her act like that.”

    Me: “…Sir?”

    Manager: “Not now.”

    Me: “But I witnessed the incident.”

    Customer: *goes pale* “I didn’t see you anywhere nearby!”

    Me: “I was ten feet away, in the clothing racks. Ma’am, YOU kicked HER when you thought she was ignoring you and yelled at her.”

    Manager: *lightbulb goes on* “She was on [Coworker]’s right, wasn’t she?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Manager: *to the customer* “Well, ma’am, under these circumstances I can’t give you any discounts, nor will I. I’m not giving you anything for free, and I’m going to call corporate myself to tell them what happened. I’ve got video cameras and an employee witness. You assaulted one of my associates. Get out of my store!”

    (The customer did try to call corporate. When they hung up on her, she called the cops, who reviewed the tape and nearly arrested her!)

    Acting Hypertext

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I take escalated calls for a major cell phone provider.)

    Caller: “My son received a text from a wrong number, so I had his number changed. The lady I was speaking to waived the $15 fee, but we had to program the new number in, so I want a $50 credit.”

    (Note: it was one text asking for class notes, sent to the wrong number.)

    Me: “I apologize that you received a text from a wrong number, and I’m glad we could help, but we can’t give a credit for programming a phone.”

    Caller: *high-pitched, unintelligible, wordless shrieking*

    Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling at me.”

    Caller: *shrieking doubles in volume*

    Me: “Ma’am, this is solving nothing.”

    Caller: *starts growling*

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to disconnect this call of you keep treating me this way. I don’t appreciate being yelled at.”

    Caller: *calmly* “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”


    Supervisor: “Thanks for that call. I had to hang up on her. That was fun!”

    This Customer Can Go Truck Himself

    | Boise, ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry.”

    Me: “Okay, let’s get your details. What’s your address?”

    Caller: “Exit 49.”

    Me: “Um, that’s not a complete address. Unfortunately, I can’t complete an order unless it has a complete address, due to the POS system that we have installed.”

    Caller: “I’m in a f***ing semi, and I’m f***ing hungry. GET ME A F***ING PIZZA!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not complete your order unless you have a complete address. Perhaps you could come pick it up instead?”

    Caller: “Well, F*** YOU! I’m in a F***ING SEMI and I’m F***ING HUNGRY! There is no F***ING way I’m driving my F***ING truck all the way out there!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I can not help you there. Besides, Exit 49 is outside of our delivery area. Have a good day, sir.”

    (The caller hangs up immediately and I quickly inform my manager. The caller calls back less than a minute later.)

    Caller: “I want to order pizza. I’m f***ing hungry!”

    Manager: “Were you the one who called earlier, asking for a delivery to a semi?”

    Caller: “YES! And the other chick wa—”

    Manager: “She does not get paid enough to deal with a**holes like you, and frankly, neither do I. Have a good day!” *click*

    Go Truck Yourself

    This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

    | Staten Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

    Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

    Me: “You want to cut in line?”

    Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

    (The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

    Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

    Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

    (The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

    Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

    Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

    Customer: “Just take it off!”

    Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

    Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

    This Is Soda-Pressing

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