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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Getting Into Double-Double Trouble

    | Brampton, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Food & Drink, Top

    (I witness a medium-sized customer, wearing a business suit, ordering coffee.)

    Customer: “I thought I told you to make a double-double with milk, not this swill with cream!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll remake it for you.”

    Customer: “D*** f****** right you will. Morons like you shouldn’t even have a job.”

    Me: “Hey! The lady made a mistake and she’s remaking it for you. Calm the h*** down.”

    Customer: “Screw you buddy. She didn’t make it right—”

    Me: “That doesn’t give you the right to be a complete a**. Shut up and take your drink.”

    Customer: “And just what are you going to do about it?”

    (I fully stand up. I am a heavy-set, 6’2″ guy. I grab him by the tie and yank him to towards me. I speak very calmly.)

    Me: “I just lost my job. I’m in a bad mood. I want my tea so I can read in peace and try to cheer myself up. If you want to really know what I can do, keep talking. I’ll fold you into a pretzel.”

    (The customer turns deathly white. He reels around and runs out the door. I make my way up to the register.)

    Me: “Steeped tea. Double-double with milk. Double cupped please.”

    Cashier: “No problem.”

    (A customer in line behind me speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “I’ll have the same, and I’ll pay for both.”

    Me: “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

    Customer #2: “You defended that woman, even after dealing with some pretty horrible news. Don’t worry about it.”

    Me: “Well… if you insist.”

    (Customer #2 pays for my tea and sits down with me, asking about what I did for a living. Turns out, his store is looking for a new computer-tech, and he offers me the job right there. Lesson learned? Don’t underestimate the power of sticking up for people.)

    Do Not Acid Test God

    | East Lansing, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a 24-hour convenience store on a college campus I attend. A man in his twenties comes in at about 4AM. He’s the only one in the store except me, and one of my co-workers.)

    Me: “Hi there! How’re you today?”

    Customer: “Not bad.”

    (He walks over to one of the three aisles in the store before starting to strip down naked. I’m taken aback, and immediately start to call the police, while my coworker attempts to talk the man down.)

    Coworker: “Hey, dude, what are you doing? Put your clothes on!”

    Customer: “It’s a glorious day! A righteous day!”

    (The man, now fully nude, begins to touch his body to the disgust of both of us. He starts rubbing his front up against the ice-cold freezer door.)

    Me: “Sir, I’ve called the police. They’ll be here soon; please put your clothes on.”

    (The customer mumbles incoherently as he rests up against the door, touching himself very inappropriately. My coworker manages to talk him into getting into his underwear, as the cops arrive and arrest him.)

    Cop #1: “What’s your name, son?”

    Customer: “I AM GOD!”

    Cop #1: “Yeah, okay, son. Let’s go.”

    (The cops lead him out into the freezing air in only his underwear. Later in the day, they come back to explain why he did it.)

    Cop #1: “Apparently, he was on four hits of acid, and had just left a house party on campus!”

    (The customer came in the next day demanding that we return his iPhone that ‘we clearly stole’. We threw him out of the store.)

    You Got Dad’s Back

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am eight years old. My mother, father and I are all in the chemist to get some medication. My father has a rare spinal condition which is causing him to wobble when he walks, even with a frame. We’re waiting at the counter and hear a customer behind us make a remark under their breath; deliberately loud enough for us to hear.)

    Customer #1: “Drunk at 9AM; you should be ashamed.”

    (We try to ignore it.)

    Customer #1: “This is disgusting; you should be so embarrassed.”

    (I don’t like this person being rude to my father.)

    Me: “Watch your tone lady. If you’d bother to be polite and ask if my father is okay, you’d know he has a special illness that makes him this way. He’s not drunk; he’s my father, and I love him. Now apologize for being so mean about him.”

    (She goes red, stammers, and goes down an aisle. The pharmacist gives me a lollipop.)

    Borderline Stupidity

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

    (Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

    Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

    Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

    Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

    Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

    Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

    Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

    Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

    (He throws a card on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

    Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

    Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

    Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

    No ID-ea Who Is Hiding Under There

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

    (A coworker and I are working under our walk-up counter; we’re running cables for a new computer station. I overhear a customer talking to the tiny freshman girl working above us at the counter.)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my laptop.”

    Female Coworker: “Okay, it looks like it’s all paid up. I just need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Female Coworker: “I just need to verify it’s your computer.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t have my ID. Just give it to me.”

    Female Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t—”

    (There are the sounds of quick struggle. She steps back holding the laptop.)

    Female Coworker: “Sir, you can’t take the laptop without ID! Now you need to leave or I will have to have you escorted out.”

    (I pop up to see what’s going on. The customer looks at me and laughs.)

    Customer: “Him? This little b**** is going to escort me out? I’d love to see that!”

    Me: “She didn’t mean me…”

    (My other co-worker, who was still under the desk, grabs the edge of the counter and hauls his 300lb. self up to his full imposing 6’6″ height.)

    Me: “…she meant him.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale.)

    Customer: “Uh… um… so, I can just come back with my ID and pick that up, then?”

    Giant Coworker: “Yes, sir. Feel free to ask for me if you have any more problems.”

    Customer: “No! Er, I mean, no; I can’t imagine there’d be any more problems.”

    (We now joke that we should keep our giant under the desk for all such issues.)

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