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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Give The Beneficent The Benefit Of The Doubt

    | Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s a few days before Valentine’s Day, so there are a lot of rush orders for flowers. One of our usual customers, Ben, is an elderly man who isn’t mentally healthy, but he’s a sweet man who doesn’t bother anyone. He’s decided to buy 100 roses and stand outside to hand them out to women, young and old alike.)

    Female Customer #1: “I want your manager.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am…”

    (I call for my manager, who arrives shortly.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Female Customer #1: “There’s a drunk outside accosting women. I want to know what kind of store lets drunkards stand around like that to bother ladies. He’s standing out there slurring and making sexual comments to everyone.”

    (As she explains this, another female customer with her daughter has been standing nearby. After she finishes, the second female customer interjects.)

    Female Customer #2: “I hope you don’t mean Ben.”

    Female Customer #1: “Who the f*** asked you?”

    Female Customer #2: *to my manager* “Ben isn’t doing anything at all. This lady here asked for two flowers and started hitting him with her purse when he only gave her one.”

    Female Customer #1: “You f***ing liar! You’re just some godless w****!”

    Manager: “Lady, if getting a d*** flower for Valentine’s Day pisses you off this much, I feel sorry for the poor b*****d who gets in a relationship with you. Get out of my store and don’t come back.”

    (The manager brought Ben in, who was in tears and confused. However, he cheered up when he received some very nice comments from other customers as well as a free meal from my manager.)

    Holding The Line Against Bad Customers

    | TX, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (There are usually four to six employees behind the counter at the cell phone store, but today there is only one. She appears to be new and flustered, but is doing very well getting to everyone. I have been waiting for about 20 minutes before a woman in her late 20s and dressed in aerobics gear comes in. She immediately turns to a phone sales rep.)

    Aerobics Woman: “Do I really needed to wait in the line?”

    Employee: “I only really sell new phones, so I am afraid you will have to.”

    Aerobics Woman: “OH. MY. GOD.”

    (Five minutes go by, and the next customer is up. I’m about 4th in line now, and Aerobics Woman is 6th. She is grumbling and muttering things under her breath.)

    Aerobics Woman: *shouting* “What is taking so long?! I don’t understand why I have to wait in this line.”

    (Finally, it’s my turn. I’m up at the counter, and give the poor overwhelmed employee a warm smile.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry you have to put up with this.”

    (Relieved, the employee lets out a big sigh and her shoulders relax.)

    Employee: “No, I’m sorry that it has been taking so long.”

    Me: “No, it’s okay, I understa—”

    Aerobics Woman: “Why does it have to take so long!”

    (I decide I’ve been patient enough with Aerobics Woman and snap back.)

    Me: “Are you five f***ing years old?!”

    (As soon as I say this, everything in the store grinds to a halt. Aerobics Woman is looking at me wide-eyed, as I in turn am now giving her the ugliest glare I’ve ever managed.)

    Me: “Are you seriously under the impression that your constant moaning is going to make anything you’re trying to do happen any faster? Do you have any idea how f***ing ridiculous you look right now? What the h*** is so d*** important that you feel that you have to b**** every 5 minutes for all to hear?”

    Aerobics Woman: “I was on the phone to customer service, and they told me that in order to change my account password I needed to come into a store and show proof of ID!I got a new phone because I dropped the old one, and they told me I couldn’t switch it without my password, and I forgot it!”

    Me: “Well, of course you’d have to bloody come in! I bet you have credit card info, address info, social security info and all the rest on your bloody account. What if I called Customer Service, put on a lovely voice, and said I was you? What if I stole your phone, called the phone company, and said to them, ‘could you tell me what social security number you have for me, I want to make sure it’s the right one’? You should be thanking this poor woman here, all alone, having to put up with your childish whining, and trying to keep you from getting robbed. Now, shut up, and just wait your turn.”

    (I turn back to the employee, and wink. On the way out of the store, another employee intercepts me on the way out.)

    Other Employee: “I was wondering if I could talk to you. Customer Service is our number one priority here, and policy prevents us from being able to defend ourselves in a situation like that. On behalf of everyone here, I wanted to see if I could have your name, and give you next month’s service for free.”

    A Couple Of Annoying Squirts

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (Our shop is pretty quiet at the moment. The only customer in it is a twenty-something woman, eating her meal and reading a book. Two boys, about fifteen and thirteen, come in carrying what appears to be badly painted water pistols.)

    Older Boy: Yo, b****! This is a stick up!

    Younger Boy: “Yeah, give us all your money! Empty the register.”

    (At this point, the woman looks up. She gets a very angry look on her face.)

    Me: “Those aren’t real guns.”

    Older Boy: “F***, yeah, they are! Hurry up!”

    (The woman walks over to them and taps the older boy on the shoulder.)

    Older Boy: *turns around* “What the?”

    (He freezes and stutters for words. The woman smacks the other boy’s head with her book.)

    Woman: “What the h*** do you two think you’re doing? Are those squirt guns?”

    (Both boys look shocked. The older one is beet red and the younger one is actually crying.)

    Woman: “Go to the corner, right this instant! I’m calling your mother.”

    (Both boys go to sit in the corner of the restaurant.)

    Woman: “Ah! Apologize to this nice lady first!”

    Both Boys: “S…s…sorry!”

    Woman: “Now go stand in that corner and face the wall!”

    (Both boys obey and stand against the wall. The woman then turns back to me.)

    Woman: “I’m sorry, I really am.”

    (The woman proceeds to call their mother, who shows up five minutes later and hauls both boys out. Apparently, the woman is their aunt. She left us two twenty dollar bills in our tip jar!)

    Stiff Upper Lip Vs The American Quip

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work in a small independent music shop in the UK. Although our shelf space is limited, we have a pretty good reputation, because of the musical knowledge of our staff and our ability to source and order some really obscure CDs.)

    Customer: “Do you have [certain CD] in stock?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that we don’t have it at the moment.”

    (I quickly checking our database, I find that we’ve never had any requests for it until today.)

    Me: “I can source it for you. Would you like to place an order?”

    Customer: “I need it today. I’m going back to the States tomorrow.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; the suppliers of this disc usually take a couple of days to get things to us.”

    Customer: *looking hugely put out* “Well, can you send it to San Francisco?”

    Me: “Yes, that should be fine.”

    Customer: “I guess you’ll drop the shipping costs, seeing how you didn’t have it in stock when I asked.”

    Me: “I’m afraid that isn’t policy in this shop. We don’t pretend to be able to keep in stock any CD our customers might ask for, after all. But if you—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I know what this is. This is Britain muddling through, isn’t it? Just sixty years ago, you won the war; now you can’t even keep a CD in stock.”

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’re only a very small shop, and there’s a lot of CDs—”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, my friend said you’d try to make excuses, and she’s a Professor, you know. But look!” *holding up three CDs she’d like to buy* “I’m keeping you in business! Britain, muddling through!”

    Miss Management (Not Mrs)

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (A couple comes up to my checkout with a large amount of sporting goods.)

    Me: “Wow, looks like someone’s getting all their holiday shopping taken care of. Your total is [over $200].”

    Customer: “Ugh, no, it isn’t. My husband here is a manager with your company, so we get the employee discount.”

    Me: “Okay…” *leans over to the paging system* “Manager to register two, please.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Why did you just call a manager?”

    Me: “Because you said you and your husband were getting the employee discount.”

    Customer: “Oh, what, and you don’t believe me? You think my husband can’t be a manager because we’re [race], is that it?!”

    Me: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Customer: “I’m talking about you calling the manager on us because you’re a f***ing racist. I’ll have you know we drive a BMW and have a lot more money than anyone here, especially a minimum wage nobody like you!”

    (She goes on verbally attacking me, insulting my appearance, and just sounding generally crazy. Her husband is quietly standing behind her looking very nervous, but puts a restraining hand on her when she threatens to come behind the counter and teach me a lesson. At some point, the manager I paged approaches the counter.)

    Manager: “Hey, how come you called?”

    Customer: “Are you the manager? I have a complaint! Your employee here is a racist and should be fired for discrimination!”

    Manager: “What happened?”

    Customer: “Little-Miss-Hair-In-Her-Face over here called a manager when I told her my husband was getting the employee discount. We shop here all the time and we’ve never been treated with such disrespect.”

    Manager: “Okay. Well, we can give you a discount once we get this cleared up.”

    Customer: *shoots a smug nasty look at me*

    Manager: “So, since you shop here all the time and work for our company, of course you know that in order to get checked out with an employee discount a store manager has to enter his number and authorization code. Now, I just need his employee number and you’re set.”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Manager: “The employee identification number, we all have one in our system. He does have one, right?”

    Customer: “When I said he worked here, I was just kidding. But she called a manager because she’s a racist!”

    Manager: “No, you weren’t kidding. You were trying to scam her. She called me because she was following the procedure to prevent people like you from getting away with it. I’m voiding your transaction. Please leave.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah? We’ll go to the news! Once everyone hears how racist this place is your store will be shut down!”

    (The customer’s husband, who has been frozen in silence up until this point, suddenly speaks up.)

    Husband: “No, you absolutely will not. You’ve already embarrassed us enough and dragged me into your bull****. Don’t even think about dragging me onto TV! I like this store. Now how am I supposed to show my face here? It’s bad enough to have a crazy, meana** girlfriend who lies like she breathes, but every time I take you out I’m lucky if the cops don’t get called. Now get in my crappy Volvo everyone can see from the window. I’m taking you home!”

    (Just as the customer’s ‘husband’ said, he was not only not an employee, but he wasn’t even married to her. He came back to the store a few days later and apologized for her behavior, and told us he had dumped her that evening. Because he was so nice about it my manager told him he wasn’t banned, and when the guy tried to purchase some of the items he’d been trying to pick up the last time my manager gave him a small discount.)


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