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  • Category: Bad Behavior

    Stick It To The (Business) Man

    | Liuzhou, Guangxi, China | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My family are visiting my mother’s hometown in China. We are at a noodle shop for breakfast, where I am buying a stick of fried dough. I am a 12-year-old American-born-Chinese, so I can speak Chinese relatively well.)

    Me: “Hello, can I get a—”

    (A businessman barges in front of me, cutting me off mid-sentence.)

    Businessman: “I need two sticks, hurry!”

    (The man behind the stall looks shocked, but still takes the man’s money before reaching to get the fried dough sticks.)

    Me: “Excuse me, I was in front of you. You cut in front of me.”

    Businessman: “No, you weren’t! You were still walking over here when I was ordering! You should respect your elders! Kids these days!”

    (He continues berating me until the man gives him his fried dough sticks. I glare at the businessman as he walks away, before turning to the man at the stall.)

    Man: “Wow, you must be so brave to stick up like that! That guy has been bothering me for ages! He’s always acting like that.”

    Me: “You’re welcome. So, could I please have a stick of fried dough?”

    (The man happily gives me my stick of fried dough, smiling the whole time. He said that I made his day!)

    Making A Spectacle Of Himself

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (I am a manager at a small sunglasses store in a mall. I am not currently in the store.)

    Customer: “Yo, clean these for me.”

    (He throws the glasses at the clerk.)

    Clerk: “Oh, okay. Here let me get a cloth and the cleaning spray.”

    (The glasses land on the ground because they were thrown.)

    Clerk: “Let me get those, and get them clean for y—”

    Customer: “B****, you wrecked my glasses! The icon’s missing; you owe me a brand new pair!”

    (Icons fit on the side of the glasses to jazz them up.)

    Clerk: “Sir, you threw your glasses at me. I didn’t even see if you had the icons. Let’s look and see if there’s one on the floor here.”

    (The clerk very patiently starts searching, even going so far as to get a broom and try and sweep under displays, just in case.)

    Customer: “You wrecked my glasses; give me a new pair now!”

    Clerk: “Sir, I can’t do that. Your glasses are right here; they’re fine. You know what? I’ll find you another pair of icons, on me, for the trouble.”

    (Icons cost $15 a pair. My staff know that we’d authorize them to take a loss on such a small item to make a customer’s day.)

    Customer: “B****, these were special order. I’m not leaving until you give me two pairs of these sunglasses to make up for you f****** up.”

    Clerk: “I’m not giving you any sunglasses. I offered you a free pair of icons. Don’t swear at me again, or I will call security and have you escorted out.”

    Customer: “Get your manager now, b****!”

    (I live across the street from the mall. My staff knows I’ll come over for any reason. My clerk calls me, and I can hear she’s almost crying. I tell her I’ll be there in 10 minutes. The clerk hangs up with me and tells the customer.)

    Customer: “I ain’t got 10 minutes to wait for some other b**** to get here. Give me two pairs of glasses to make up for this s***, NOW!”

    Clerk: “Look, I’m not giving you anything. I’ll tell you now, my manager’s not going to give you anything either. If you can’t wait for her, leave me your name and number, and I’ll have her call you.”

    Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** to call me, and I’ll get my free glasses.”

    Clerk: “Alright, can I have your name and number?”

    Customer: “No, you can’t have my personal info. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

    Clerk: “I need your name and number if you want the manager to call you.”

    Customer: “Alright, you tell that b**** my name is Mutha-f**** Jones.”

    (The customer stomps out. I arrive a couple minutes later to an empty store, save for a shaken clerk.)

    Me: “Where’s the guy who’s freaking out?”

    Clerk: “He said he couldn’t wait, but you can call him to discuss it. Here’s his info.”

    (She hands me a card with his name on it.)

    Me: “Seriously?”

    Clerk: “Yep. Maybe you can call 411 and get them to look up Mr Jones for you.”

    Me: “I’ll get right on that.”

    (I look at the security footage, and am pretty sure he doesn’t have the icons to begin with. The crazy dude actually comes back. I call security and give him h*** for trying to scam my clerk.)

    Five Feet Of Fury

    | AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (My girlfriend and I are at a friends shop looking for new training pads for her. She is a 5′ tall blond, who weighs 95 lbs. I am 6’1″ and 175 lbs, and the owner is about 6’4″ and 200 lbs. All of us have done different forms of martial arts for over 20 combined years. I am making small talk with the owner by the register, while my girlfriend is looking at more pads.)

    Customer: “Hey, where are your training pads?”

    Owner: “Just past the speed bags, on the right.”

    (About a minute later, we hear a small crash, followed by arguing. We rush over to find the man trying to grab the pads from my girlfriend.)

    Customer: “You stupid b****; give me those!”

    (He finally manages to pull them out of her hand.)

    Girlfriend: “H*** no, I got them first; give them back!”

    Customer: “You don’t even need them. I have a fight in two weeks!”

    Girlfriend: “Then you should have thought about that sooner!”

    (The customer finally notices us; he turns to the owner.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need to pay for these pads.”

    Owner: “No, she had them first. You need to give them back to her.”

    Customer: “No, she is just a dumb b**** who need to learn her place. Get me your manager.”

    Owner: “I am the owner here, and I’m going to insist you give the pads back to the young lady and leave.”

    Customer: “I need these pads! Who’s going to make me?”

    (My girlfriend is fuming, and it is pretty obvious. I cut in.)

    Me: “Just give her the pads back, man.”

    Customer: “What are you going to do?”

    Me: “Nothing, but she will.”

    (I point to my girlfriend; the customer laughs.)

    Customer: “That puny b**** couldn’t if she wanted to!”

    Girlfriend: “Just give them back you a**-hole!

    Customer: “You going to make me?”

    (My girlfriend kicks the man’s legs out from under him, grabs his arm, and puts it in a hold.)

    Customer: “Ow! You stupid b****; let go of me!”

    (She holds him down for a few minutes, until he starts to calm down.)

    Girlfriend: “Now, are you going to shut up?”

    Customer: *meekly* “…yes.”

    (She lets the man up, and he scampers out. My girlfriend then turns to the owner, and talks like nothing happened.)

    Girlfriend: “Okay, I think I’m all ready.”

    (Two weeks later, my gym had an exhibition with another gym. Guess who was my opponent?)

    Management Is Like Walking A Tight-(G)rope

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m working the evening shift. The head waiter in another section of the restaurant tells me there’s a problem with some customer harassing the waitresses. I offer to switch places. The offending customer is quickly spotted; he is busy groping a waitress as I walk in.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask that you stop doing that. We’re trying to work here.”

    (The customer grumbles, clearly irritated. I walk off, thinking it’s resolved. Five minutes later, I watch as a waitress comes to the customer’s table to put down some food, and the customer reaches out for the waitress’ behind. I jump between them.)

    Me: “Sir, I already told you to stop it. You didn’t listen the first time. I’m now going to ask you to leave the restaurant.”

    Customer: “I demand to see a manager!”

    (I’m just a waiter, but I take a chance.)

    Me: “That would be me. Now as I told you, the only solution I see is you leaving the restaurant.”

    Customer: “I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “No, you’re coming with me to the front right now. You’re going to pay for your meal and leave!”

    (The customer is still refusing. With the aid of another waiter, we pull the customer out of his seat and bring him to the front, where he finally pays. The rest of his party are horribly embarrassed.)

    Manager: “Yeah, I need to see you about something. You pretended to be a manager?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I—”

    Manager: “I heard the story. That guy got off easy! I’m glad you managed to make him pay for his food!”

    Very Wrong About Being Right

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (An irate caller is complaining about a billing problem that has been previously resolved by our billing specialists. He has received $50 in credits, but they will not apply until the next invoice is printed. At this time, we cannot edit already-printed invoices. The customer has been made aware of this twice per my co-workers’ notes. He does not want to wait.)

    Me: “Sir, you have been given the credits, but as you have been advised—”

    Caller: “I don’t care what I was told! Not by you, or your workers, or your managers or whoever! You are going to apply the f****** credits! The customer is always right!”

    b>Me: “I understand that you’re upset about our crediting system, but please refrain from using profanity.”

    Caller: “F*** you! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “If you continue to use profanity, I will have to end the call.” Caller: “The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Sir, we have no way—”

    Caller: “I AM THE CUSTOMER. AM. I. RIGHT?”

    Me: “No.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Caller: “I want your supervisor.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but they will tell you the same thing.”

    Caller: “I want your supervisor!”

    (I get one of my supervisors, and transfer the customer over. The caller screams “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” at him for 15 minutes, and then hangs up.)

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