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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Service To Swear By

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I am waiting on a table being used by a family: a mother, two teenagers, and one younger son. I am taking the order from the mother; everyone else has given their order.)

    Me: “…and what side dish would—”

    (The young son hits me in the back of the head. I find this funny, as the kid is so young.)

    Me: “Hey buddy, what’s the matter?”

    Child: “Where the f*** is my food?”

    (I look at the mother in expectation of her to do something.)

    Mother: “Well? Are you going to answer him?”

    (I stare at the mother in disbelief.)

    Me: “Well… the kitchen needs to cook your food for you, which takes time. I haven’t left the table yet, which means they don’t know what you would like to eat; it hasn’t even started being cooked yet.”

    (The mother just kept going like nothing happened.)

    Treating Them Im-Parcel-ly Is Only Polite

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

    (I witness a customer exchange at the counter while I am in line.)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up a parcel; here’s the delivery card.”

    Clerk: “Sure, I’ll just look that up for you.”

    Customer: “By the way, why were you rude to my daughter?”

    Clerk: “I… what?”

    Customer: “My daughter came in earlier to get this parcel. You were rude to her, and wouldn’t let her pick it up for me.”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry. As I explained to her at the time, only the person whose name is on the parcel can take it. We have to do that to prevent fraud.”

    Customer: “Her name is on it! Look at the card!”

    Clerk: “Um… I’m sorry, but you wrote that in yourself. It’s a different coloured ink, and the handwriting is different.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?”

    Clerk: “Look, I’m sorry; only the person whose name is on the card can pick it up. I explained that to your daughter—”

    Customer: “You should learn how to speak to people properly, and stop being so rude!”

    Clerk: “Um… let me go get your parcel.”

    (The clerk is visibly upset as she leaves. Her supervisor comes back with the parcel in question.)

    Supervisor: “Here is your parcel. Now, can you see here on the parcel where it has your name on it?”

    Customer: “I don’t f****** care whose name is on it! I wanted my daughter to pick it up, and you should have given it to her!”

    Supervisor: “That would have been illegal. We can’t just give out parcels because someone says—”

    Customer: “I don’t f******* care! Just give me the f******* book to sign!”

    (She signs for the parcel and storms out, offering one final pearl of wisdom before going out the door.)

    Customer: “You should learn to f******* speak to people more politely, b****!”

    Not Sue-ted To Shoplifting

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (I spot a young woman looking shiftily around, obviously checking to make sure no associates are watching her. I step up behind her as quietly as I can; she hasn’t spotted me yet. She starts putting a couple stacks of shirts into her bag.)

    Me: “Ah-HEM!”

    (She freezes, and slowly turns around.)

    Woman: “I was just—”

    Me: “Uh-huh.”

    Woman: “I really need—”

    Me: “Mm-hmm?”

    (She sheepishly puts the stack of shirts back onto the table, and starts to walk towards the exit.)

    Me:All of it please, ma’am.”

    (She scowls like a little kid, stomping over and throwing the last shirt in her bag at me.)

    Woman: “I’ll sue you all!” *stomps out*

    Flying Off The Pan-Handle

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My coworker and I work in retail, but we are the customers in this story. We decide to hang out at her place after work. I order some pizza, and pick it up on the way to her house.)

    Me: “Hi, I’m [name], and I’m here to pick up my order.”

    Assistant Manager: “I am terribly sorry, sir. There has been a mistake with your order. We’re trying to fix it as soon as we can.”

    Me: “Oh, dear. What happened? If it’s the wrong toppings, I’ll still take it.”

    Assistant Manager: “No, sir, unfortunately one of our staff members accidentally gave your order to another customer. I am very sorry about this. We’ve just remade your order, and it’ll be done in just a couple of minutes.”

    Me: “Okay, that’s fine, I totally understa—”

    My Coworker: “WHAT?! I can’t believe you let this happen!”

    Me: “Whoa, calm down, [coworker]! People make mistakes, and it’s not going to take very long.”

    My Coworker: “No! I will not calm down, this is an outrage!”

    (My coworker addresses the assistant manager.) “I demand that we be compensated for this inconvenience! I can’t believe they let you be assistant manager around here!”

    Me: “Hey, hey, time out! I’m the one paying here, so you have no right to talk to him like that!”

    Coworker: “No, the customer is ALWAYS right! He should throw in a few extras for free!”

    Me: “Okay, if he did that, our order is gonna take even longer.”

    (Not even one minute after our short argument, our pizzas get brought up to the front. I pay for exactly what I ordered, no more, no less, and we leave. On the way back to my car, my coworker is still muttering.)

    Coworker: “I still think we should’ve gotten some free breadsticks or something.”

    Me: “Listen. You work in customer service too. You go through the exact same s*** he does, and I know YOU wouldn’t tolerate customers who fly off the handle like you just did. I am not impressed with the blatant hypocrisy you just displayed.”

    Coworker: “No, this is different! Our customers think they’re always right! In my case, I actually am!”

    Me: “Normally, I’d make you walk home for saying such a dumb comment, but I really don’t want to expose your current state to the general public.”

    The Honesty Of The Thievery Pants

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A man comes in and starts looking through the clothes. He grabs a pair of pants, and starts fast-walking towards the door.)

    Coworker: “Sir, are you going to pay for those?”

    Man: “No.”

    Coworker: “Sir, we really need you to pay for those.”

    Man: “NO!”

    Me: “Please, sir! We need those back!”

    Man: “I need them more!”

    (The man bolts out the door. We look at each other for a moment dumbfounded, then burst out laughing.)

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