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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Hoodlums Get Hoodwinked

    | USA | Bad Behavior

    (I’m working the night shift. The only customers are a couple in their late-teens or early twenties. While they’re browsing the shelves a couple of younger teenagers walk in with sagging pants and sideways hats, swearing loudly.)

    Teen #1: “Yo, motherf***er! Look at this piece of s*** they call a f***ing cheeseburger.”

    Teen #2: “That’s f***ing f***ed up, bro!”

    (They continue this until the girl walks up and taps one of them on the shoulder.)

    Girl: “Hey, sweetie. Remember me?”

    Teen #1: “I bet I f***ed you all night long and you’ve come back for more, b****.”

    Girl: *laughing* “Not quite. I graduated from [local high school] with your sister last year. I remember you when you were in diapers.”

    Teen #1: “I ain’t wearing no f***ing diapers no more.”

    Girl: “Yeah, but you still act like it.”

    (She then proceeds to pull his pants up and turn his hat right. While she’s doing this a pack of cigarettes falls from his hoodie, which she takes.)

    Girl: “I bet your mom would love to hear about this. I’ll be sure to inform her when I see you guys at mass tomorrow.”

    Teen #1: *goes pale and flees with Teen #2 from the store*

    The Darkest Coffee Lightens The Mood

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (We’ve just opened and I already have a long line, which is being held up by a customer whose drink I’ve remade three times, but he’s still not pleased. He’s been yelling at me for the last three minutes, and the entire line is started to get annoyed.)

    Customer #1: “How hard is it to make a d*** drink?”

    Me: “Sir, I’ve made your drink exactly how I was taught. If you would just—”

    Customer #1: “Then I guess you’re too f***ing stupid to make it right!”

    (He grows increasingly belligerent, swearing at me for another minute or so. However, Customer #2, a woman behind him, has had enough. She grabs him by the shoulder and physically turns him to look at her.)

    Customer #2: “Shut. The. F***. Up! I just had a f***ing baby! I’m on my period and PMS-ing! And I haven’t slept for three f***ing days! You are getting in between me and my coffee. Now take your d*** sissy drink and get the f*** out of my way, before I get angry!”

    (Everyone in the store is stunned at her outburst.)

    Customer #1: “But she didn’t—”

    Customer #2: *through her teeth* “She. Made. It. Right. LEAVE.”

    (He takes his drink and slinks out of the store. Everyone is still in shock when Customer #2 walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Wha-what can I get you, ma’am?”

    Customer #2: “Large. Black.”

    Me: “Would you—”

    Customer #2: “No.”

    (I make her drink as quickly as is possible. I give her a smile as I hand it to her.)

    Me: “Have a wonderful day, and may I just say you look fantastic for just having had a baby.”

    Customer #2: *much sweeter now* “Thank you. You have a good day, too.”

    (She left a $20 tip!)

    Tray Fray

    , | Burlington, VT, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (Due to new public safety standards, we now have to machine wash all dirty trays instead of merely wiping them down with a disinfectant and paper towel.)

    Me: “You’re order will be right out, ma’am. Thank you.”

    (My coworker brings out her bag of food.)

    Customer: “I said I wanted this for here.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but as I mentioned all our trays are dirty and we’re only bagging the food at the moment. You’re more than welcome to eat in the lobby if you’d like, but we can’t offer you a tray.”

    Customer: “What about those?” *points to dirty pile of trays over a trash can* “Can’t I just have one of those?”

    Me: “Uh, no ma’am. Those are all dirty trays. I can’t give you any of those.”

    Customer: “Just wipe one down; it’ll be fine.”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that. It’s against health codes.”

    Customer: “Just wipe it down! You’re just being lazy!”

    (Note: the customer is getting so agitated that other customers are backing away from her.)

    Me: “No, I’m not. I’m really just waiting for the trays to be brought back up from the dish area. They’ll be clean soon.”

    Customer: “God, I can’t believe you’d be so rude and lazy not to give me a tray!”

    (Without warning, the customer throws her bag full of food at my face. It’s filled with cardboard sandwich boxes and hot fries inside, so she takes a solid chunk out of my cheek and I start bleeding.)

    Customer: “That’ll teach you to be rude to a customer!” *shoves two customers out of the way and leaves*

    Giving More Than His Two Cents

    | Hamden, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (A male customer buys nothing but a water and is checking out with me.)

    Me: “Have a nice day!” *big smile*

    Customer: “You too!”

    (The customer leaves with no issue and is gone for perhaps a minute before he comes storming back in the exit door.)

    Customer: “Did you charge me 5 cents for this water?” *waving receipt in the air*

    Me: “The water itself is two dollars and then we have the deposit fee.”

    (There is a 5-cent deposit on all beverages in my state. Period. You get it back when and if you recycle it at a machine that gives vouchers. It has been this way for as long as I can remember in my 22 years.)

    Customer: “So you charged me 5 cents?!”

    Me: “It’s not an extra five cents, Sir, there’s just a deposit.”

    Customer: “I want my 5 cents back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s a state law. All beverages have a 5 cent deposit.”

    Customer: “You can’t do that! It’s not displayed. I want my 5 cents back!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t give you a nickel, I’d be a nickel short in my till.”

    Customer: “You need to give me my 5 cents back! It isn’t on a sign! You have to have a sign about it!”

    Me: *shocked pause* “Let me call my manager… one second.”

    (A new manager approaches and asks what the problem is. As the customer is obviously irate, he takes him back to his office to talk, something you really aren’t meant to do. When their meeting is finished, the customer storms out of the office.)

    Manager: “I should have just given him the five cents. I think we just lost a customer.”

    Me: “…I think we can survive losing that particular customer.”

    Fruit Loopy

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Money, Tourists/Travel

    Me: “Alright ma’am, I’ve entered all your requests in the reservation. Have a great day!”

    Caller: “Wait, I’m not finished! I want a fruit basket in my room to be there when I arrive. And there better not be any grapes! They’re nasty! They’re dirty and full of germs! I only want fruit with skins I can peel off!”

    Me: *being a fellow germophobe* “I definitely understand that. Bananas and oranges.”

    Caller: “If I find any skinless fruit, I will immediately throw the entire fruit basket out of the window into the ocean! Do you hear me?”

    Me: “Ah, well then we have to move you to a room with a balcony, because the window in your stateroom doesn’t open. The upgrade would cost $2,100.00, is that okay?”

    Caller: *long pause* “No, I will just carry it upstairs to the deck and do it from there.”

    Me: “Alright, sounds great. Anything else I can help you with?”

    Caller: “No thanks dear, have a good day.” *click*


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