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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Borderline Stupidity

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (I am behind two boys in line. They pile a bunch of coolers on the counter, and try to pay with American money.)

    Cashier: “Could I see some ID, please?”

    (Boy #1 waves his hand like Obi-Wan.)

    Boy #1: “Oh, you don’t need to see our IDs.”

    Cashier: “Uh, actually, I do.”

    Boy #2: “It’s okay; we’re both 21!”

    Cashier: “Drinking age in Ontario is 19.”

    Boy #2: “Oh. Well, we’re both 19, then.”

    Cashier: “Do you even have identification?”

    Boy #1: “Fine! Here!”

    (He throws a card on the counter.)

    Cashier: “The government doesn’t consider this valid ID.”

    Boy #1: “OH COME ON!”

    Cashier: “…and this American state driver’s licence says you’re 16.”

    Boy #2: “F****** Canadians!”

    No ID-ea Who Is Hiding Under There

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

    (A coworker and I are working under our walk-up counter; we’re running cables for a new computer station. I overhear a customer talking to the tiny freshman girl working above us at the counter.)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my laptop.”

    Female Coworker: “Okay, it looks like it’s all paid up. I just need to see your ID.”

    Customer: “What? Why?”

    Female Coworker: “I just need to verify it’s your computer.”

    Customer: “Well I don’t have my ID. Just give it to me.”

    Female Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t—”

    (There are the sounds of quick struggle. She steps back holding the laptop.)

    Female Coworker: “Sir, you can’t take the laptop without ID! Now you need to leave or I will have to have you escorted out.”

    (I pop up to see what’s going on. The customer looks at me and laughs.)

    Customer: “Him? This little b**** is going to escort me out? I’d love to see that!”

    Me: “She didn’t mean me…”

    (My other co-worker, who was still under the desk, grabs the edge of the counter and hauls his 300lb. self up to his full imposing 6’6″ height.)

    Me: “…she meant him.”

    (The customer’s face goes pale.)

    Customer: “Uh… um… so, I can just come back with my ID and pick that up, then?”

    Giant Coworker: “Yes, sir. Feel free to ask for me if you have any more problems.”

    Customer: “No! Er, I mean, no; I can’t imagine there’d be any more problems.”

    (We now joke that we should keep our giant under the desk for all such issues.)

    Dining Sin

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a waitress, seating a woman next to a pair of young men holding hands across the table. They are talking quietly to each other, very obviously on a date. One of the men is drastically shorter than the other, making him appear much younger.)

    Female Customer: “Well, isn’t that sweet; taking your little brother out? How old is he, 10?”

    (Customer #1 blushes and bites his lip.)

    Customer #2: “He’s 19, and he’s my boyfriend.”

    (I’m about to walk away, when the woman gasps and shrieks at me in outrage.)

    Female Customer: “HOW DARE YOU ALLOW THESE HEATHENS TO ACT LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC! YOU TWO SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES, YOU F*****S!”

    (Both men visibly flinch. The smaller starts pulling his hand away, blinking back tears. The taller catches it and gives him a reassuring smile. Being bisexual myself, I’ve learned how to deal with this.)

    Me: “Look at that couple over there.”

    (I point to a girl and boy, on the other side of the restaurant. They are about the same age, doing the exact same thing the other couple just was.)

    Me: “What do you think of them?”

    Female Customer: “Well, they’re cute!”

    (I point to the gay couple.)

    Me: “And if one of them was a girl?”

    (The female customer stammers furiously. She stands up, almost knocking the table over, and starts stomping away.)

    Female Customer: “I’m never coming here again! I’ll have you reported for allowing these f*****s to sin here!”

    (Luckily for me, my boss laughs in her face. He bans her from the restaurant, and calls other branches to warn them about her. The two men are incredibly sweet, and make sure to give me a twenty dollar tip. They’ve been regulars ever since!)

    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 4

    | Billings, MT, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (A older driver is trying to park her car in the lower parking lot of the events center. We have the lower parking lot blocked off to be used by volunteers.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Can I ask you to move your car to the upper parking lot? The lower parking lot is closed. It’s blocked off for the volunteers for today’s event.”

    (She refuses to move her car. We get an officer to tell her to move her car, or get towed. She reluctantly gets in her car, and pulls up 50 feet, but still in the lower parking lot. Volunteers are sitting in my car warming up from the cold weather.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you will have to move your car to the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING! These people are leaving; I can park here.”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They are warming up. They are volunteers. You will have to park in the upper parking lot.”

    (The driver’s granddaughter in the back seat chimes in.)

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, just park up there.”

    Driver: “No! This is my spot. These people had better leave, or I will just ram them out of my spot. My spot!”

    Me: “Listen, lady. I will stand right here so you understand. You will not be parking here. It’s only a two minute walk from the upper parking lot.”

    Driver: “F*** you!”

    (The driver ends up driving through the whole volunteer parking lot looking for a spot, then decides to go to the upper parking lot. I think the altercation is over, until she comes back down, grabbing me by the arm.)

    Driver:See! This car just parked here. That other car left, and you allowed this white car to park here.”

    Me: “That wasn’t the spot you were trying to park in. You were trying to park where that blue car is in front of that blue truck.”

    Driver: “Bull-s***! You’re lying!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that was my car you were threatening to ram. My friends were sitting in that car trying to warm up. They are volunteers. I suggest you calm down, and enjoy this family fun event.”

    Driver’s Granddaughter: “Grandma, he is right. That’s the car up there!”

    Driver: “F*** you both!”

    Related:
    Driving Miss Crazy, Part 3

    Victim Of A Crazy Mugging

    | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (We have a staff rest/break room near the bathrooms. Customers accidentally walk into it all the time, so we get a very big sign that says ‘Staff Only, Please Do Not Enter’. One day, I hear several very loud noises coming from the staff break room. I go to investigate.)

    Me: “Is everything okay in here?”

    (I look around to utter chaos. Tea and coffee has been thrown all around the room. Milk has been poured on the counter, and the water jug is on the floor. Oddest of all, the fridge door is wide open, and the shelves have been neatly removed and stacked on top of the table. In the middle of all of it is sitting a very well-dressed middle aged woman. She is sipping coffee out of my personal coffee mug.)

    Me: “I.. um… excuse me, ma’am?”

    (She looks up with a lovely smile, and goes back to sipping coffee.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to… um—”

    (She stares at me for a very long time, then goes back to her coffee.)

    Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave, ma’am. This is a staff only area.”

    (She smiles, and starts talking in a very fake British accent.)

    Customer: “Oh, you know. I just wanted a coffee.”

    Me: “That’s fine, ma’am. I’m going to have to ask you to take it outside of this room. It’s for staff only.”

    Customer: “But… my coffee?”

    Me: “It’s okay, take it around the shop with you. I’ll even put it into a take-away cup for you.”

    (I offer to take back my mug. Her smile turns to a horrible scowl.)

    Customer: “MY cup!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, it’s mine. Now, I need you to leave this area before I call security.”

    Customer: “Oh!”

    (Smiling again, she gets up and walks out of the room. She then turns around, shrieks, and hurls the cup at me, where it smashes at my feet.)

    Customer: “MY CUP! MY COFFEE!”

    (I call security. She goes on a rampage, trying to smash everything in sight. She even bites the security guard. They have to call the police, because they can’t restrain her. I guess some people really do need coffee to be human.)

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