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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Acting Like A Has-Bean

    | Yonkers, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Money

    Customer: “Excuse me, how much is one coffee bean?”

    Me: “One bean?”

    Customer: “Yes, just one.”

    Me: “Can I ask why you want a single bean?”

    Customer: “Just tell me the price!”

    Me: “Uh… well, they’re [price] per pound, so you could try to weigh one bean and work it out from there.”

    Customer: “Perfect!”

    (She weighs one bean. The scale comes up ‘0lb, 0oz’.)

    Me: “Well, I guess if you just want one bean you can take it, although you won’t get much coffee from it.”

    Customer: “That won’t be a problem.”

    (She grabs the entire stack of bulk bags, and begins placing a single bean in each one, weighing it, and then printing out a price tag.)

    Me: “Wha… hey! You can’t—”

    (My manager suddenly appears.)

    Manager: “Shush, let her finish.”

    (It takes the customer nearly half an hour to load up as much coffee as she wants. She proceeds to an automatic checkout, but after scanning her second free bean, the machine stops.)

    Automatic Checkout: “If you have combined two of the same item, please combine them.”

    Customer: “D*** it!”

    Manager: “Oh, I’m sorry. These machines can be kind of picky. I’ll get that for you.”

    (He stacks the entire mound of bagged coffee beans onto a scale, weighs it, and then presents her with the now massively inflated price.)

    Customer: “I… hey! I’m not paying that much! Put them back.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, I’m not permitted to return food to the shelves once it’s been handled.”

    (They argue, and finally the shopper gives up and pays for the beans—and the bags. After the customer leaves, my manager returns.)

    Me: “She paid!? We were all expecting her to throw them on the ground and run out!”

    (I was actually correct! When I left the store, I noticed dozens of bulk bags strewn around the parking lot!)

    Desperately Needs Change In His Life

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I work at an amusement park. They are very strict about the money, and I am the head cashier. It’s about 100 degrees out, and there’s a long line of about 100 people waiting to place an order. A customer rudely cuts everyone in line, and starts talking to me.)

    Rude Customer: “Hey bud, can you give me four quarters for a dollar?”

    Customer In Line: “Hey, I was in line!”

    Rude Customer: “Relax, I’ll only be a second.”

    (The customer ignores the rest of the customers complaints.)

    Me: “No, sir. I’m sorry; we’re not allowed to open the register.”

    Rude Customer: “Aw, come on man! I just need four quarters.”

    Me: “Well, if you want change, you can go to the customer service desk at the front of the park.”

    Rude Customer: “Are you f****** serious!? It’s 100 f****** degrees outside; I am not going to the other side of the d*** park, you a**-wipe!”

    Customer In Line: “Dude, no need to be a jack-a**. Plus, you cut in line anyways.”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own business you old lady. Dude, seriously, give me my f****** change for a dollar!”

    (My manager overhears.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

    Rude Customer: “I need change for this f****** dollar, and your stupid-a** cashier won’t do it.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re not allowed to make change for a dollar. You need to go to the front of the park and go to customer service. They’ll do i—”

    Rude Customer: “I was already f****** told that! And I already said, I am not walking all the f****** way over there!”

    Customer In Line #2: “Dude, shut the f*** up already! We’re waiting in line for food, and clearly you’re not getting your change!”

    Rude Customer: “Mind your own d*** business! I need it ’cause my girlfriend is on her f****** period!”

    Customer In Line #3: “Here’s a stupid quarter you a**-wipe!”

    (Customer In Line #3 proceeds to throw quarters at the customer who cut in line. The customer then proceeds to pick up the quarters. My manager bends over the counter and looks down at the man.)

    Manager: “You have 10 minutes to get your girlfriend her tampon, and out of my park, before I call security!”

    (The customers in line start clapping as he runs away, with no girlfriend in sight!)

    Stink-Eye For The Stinky Guy

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I’m standing in line at a large retail store. There are about three people in front of me. There are the only two registers open in the entire store, but because of the amount of people, it’s all converged into one long line. A customer walks forward, and lets out a large ‘HUMPH’ when she sees the length of the line. She then starts to walk in front of everyone in line to the front-most register. She’s blocked at the point of entry into the checkout line by a teenage boy reading a magazine off the display rack.)

    Customer: “Are you standing in both lines?”

    (The question startles the boy. It looks as though he is about to move forward to get out of her way, until he sees at the disgusted look on her face. He changes his mind and smirks.)

    Teenager: “Yup!”

    Customer: “Humph! You’re standing in both lines?”

    (The teenage boy then gets a rather painful look on his face, and rips out a loud fart. He just smiles at the customer. Everyone in line starts to laugh. Both cashiers have actually stopped scanning items in amazement.)

    Customer: “Humph!”

    (The woman leaves her entire cart—which must have taken over an hour to fill—at the checkout and walks out. She gives the stink-eye to the boy, who is still smiling.)

    Solved The Problem In A Snap

    | Canada | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I work in a cosmetics store. My area is extremely busy, with everybody wanting my help at the same time. A rather large family come in, wanting to look at lipsticks. I show them the area, and excuse myself to help Customer #1, who has been waiting patiently.)

    Me: “Okay, so this one reduces wrinkles, this one has Vitamin E, and this one has B.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, okay, I used this one at home. I want a change, so which would you suggest?”

    Me: “Well yo—”

    (Just then, Customer #2, a man in the large family, snaps his fingers at me, interrupting me.)

    Customer #2: “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Give me one second, and I’ll be right with you, sir.”

    (Customer# 2 than snaps his fingers at me AGAIN. Customer# 1 looks visibly annoyed, and her face goes white.)

    Me: “Sir, that is extremely rude. Please do not snap your fingers at me; I will be right with you as soon as I am finished.”

    (Customer# 2 goes to open his mouth, when Customer# 1 snaps.)

    Customer #1: “Don’t you even start with her! How dare you treat her like that! Can’t you see she’s working as hard as she can, with a big smile on her face? She’s so sweet, and she’s been nothing but nice to everybody, and trying to help everybody at once! So shut your mouth and wait!”

    (Customer#2 is aghast; his jaw is hanging open. He grabs his family, and leaves with his tail tucked between his legs. I give Customer #1 a hug. She made my day!)

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (There is a sizable line in the drive-thru. A rental car pulls up to order.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]; how can I serve you today?”

    (The customer and his wife proceed to order. They order a lot of food. The customer has a thick French accent, and I have to ask him to repeat a few things.)

    Customer: “How long is this going to take?”

    Me: “Well, we’re kind of busy; it will take about 15 minutes.”

    (I begin repeating the order back to the customer to verify that it’s right, but he pulls ahead while I’m still speaking. About 15 minutes later, he pulls up to the window. My coworker brings them their food when it is ready.)

    Coworker: “All right, so I have [order] for you.”

    Customer: “No, that’s wrong. We wanted [order].”

    (My coworker is fairly new, so I decide to take over. I send the revised order to the kitchen and ask them to remake it. Five minutes later, the order is done.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Here is your order.”

    Customer: “That’s not all; we want milkshakes, too.”

    (I am very frustrated with this customer, but I keep it under control and ring up the milkshakes. I took five years of French class in high school, so I can understand it fairly well.)

    Customer: *to wife, in French* “This place is terrible.”

    Customer’s Wife: “It’s so slow!”

    Customer: “And that skinny white boy is very rude.

    Customer’s Wife: “Don’t be mean; he’s probably not that smart.”

    (They laugh, and continue making fun of me. I finish making the milkshakes, and walk over to the window with a beaming, ear-to-ear smile.)

    Me: *in French* “Thank you for your business today.”

    (The man makes eye contact with me. His eyes are nearly bulging out of his head, as he realizes I have understood every word he and his wife said. I keep my eyes locked on his, and maintain my ghoulish grin.)

    Me: *in French* “It was a pleasure to serve you today.”

    Customer: *drops milkshakes in wife’s lap and accelerates away*

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)

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