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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Five Feet Of Fury

    | AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (My girlfriend and I are at a friends shop looking for new training pads for her. She is a 5′ tall blond, who weighs 95 lbs. I am 6’1″ and 175 lbs, and the owner is about 6’4″ and 200 lbs. All of us have done different forms of martial arts for over 20 combined years. I am making small talk with the owner by the register, while my girlfriend is looking at more pads.)

    Customer: “Hey, where are your training pads?”

    Owner: “Just past the speed bags, on the right.”

    (About a minute later, we hear a small crash, followed by arguing. We rush over to find the man trying to grab the pads from my girlfriend.)

    Customer: “You stupid b****; give me those!”

    (He finally manages to pull them out of her hand.)

    Girlfriend: “H*** no, I got them first; give them back!”

    Customer: “You don’t even need them. I have a fight in two weeks!”

    Girlfriend: “Then you should have thought about that sooner!”

    (The customer finally notices us; he turns to the owner.)

    Customer: “Hey, I need to pay for these pads.”

    Owner: “No, she had them first. You need to give them back to her.”

    Customer: “No, she is just a dumb b**** who need to learn her place. Get me your manager.”

    Owner: “I am the owner here, and I’m going to insist you give the pads back to the young lady and leave.”

    Customer: “I need these pads! Who’s going to make me?”

    (My girlfriend is fuming, and it is pretty obvious. I cut in.)

    Me: “Just give her the pads back, man.”

    Customer: “What are you going to do?”

    Me: “Nothing, but she will.”

    (I point to my girlfriend; the customer laughs.)

    Customer: “That puny b**** couldn’t if she wanted to!”

    Girlfriend: “Just give them back you a**-hole!

    Customer: “You going to make me?”

    (My girlfriend kicks the man’s legs out from under him, grabs his arm, and puts it in a hold.)

    Customer: “Ow! You stupid b****; let go of me!”

    (She holds him down for a few minutes, until he starts to calm down.)

    Girlfriend: “Now, are you going to shut up?”

    Customer: *meekly* “…yes.”

    (She lets the man up, and he scampers out. My girlfriend then turns to the owner, and talks like nothing happened.)

    Girlfriend: “Okay, I think I’m all ready.”

    (Two weeks later, my gym had an exhibition with another gym. Guess who was my opponent?)

    Management Is Like Walking A Tight-(G)rope

    | The Hague, Netherlands | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m working the evening shift. The head waiter in another section of the restaurant tells me there’s a problem with some customer harassing the waitresses. I offer to switch places. The offending customer is quickly spotted; he is busy groping a waitress as I walk in.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m gonna have to ask that you stop doing that. We’re trying to work here.”

    (The customer grumbles, clearly irritated. I walk off, thinking it’s resolved. Five minutes later, I watch as a waitress comes to the customer’s table to put down some food, and the customer reaches out for the waitress’ behind. I jump between them.)

    Me: “Sir, I already told you to stop it. You didn’t listen the first time. I’m now going to ask you to leave the restaurant.”

    Customer: “I demand to see a manager!”

    (I’m just a waiter, but I take a chance.)

    Me: “That would be me. Now as I told you, the only solution I see is you leaving the restaurant.”

    Customer: “I’m not going anywhere!”

    Me: “No, you’re coming with me to the front right now. You’re going to pay for your meal and leave!”

    (The customer is still refusing. With the aid of another waiter, we pull the customer out of his seat and bring him to the front, where he finally pays. The rest of his party are horribly embarrassed.)

    Manager: “Yeah, I need to see you about something. You pretended to be a manager?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I—”

    Manager: “I heard the story. That guy got off easy! I’m glad you managed to make him pay for his food!”

    Very Wrong About Being Right

    | IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (An irate caller is complaining about a billing problem that has been previously resolved by our billing specialists. He has received $50 in credits, but they will not apply until the next invoice is printed. At this time, we cannot edit already-printed invoices. The customer has been made aware of this twice per my co-workers’ notes. He does not want to wait.)

    Me: “Sir, you have been given the credits, but as you have been advised—”

    Caller: “I don’t care what I was told! Not by you, or your workers, or your managers or whoever! You are going to apply the f****** credits! The customer is always right!”

    b>Me: “I understand that you’re upset about our crediting system, but please refrain from using profanity.”

    Caller: “F*** you! The customer is always right!”

    Me: “If you continue to use profanity, I will have to end the call.” Caller: “The customer is always right!”

    Me: “Sir, we have no way—”

    Caller: “I AM THE CUSTOMER. AM. I. RIGHT?”

    Me: “No.”

    (There is a significant pause.)

    Caller: “I want your supervisor.”

    Me: “I can do that for you, but they will tell you the same thing.”

    Caller: “I want your supervisor!”

    (I get one of my supervisors, and transfer the customer over. The caller screams “THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!” at him for 15 minutes, and then hangs up.)

    The Real Bread Winner

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m shopping at a bakery that’s known for making a unique loaf of bread. It usually sells out quickly. Due to the popularity of the item, customers are only allowed one loaf per visit. I’m in the long line when I see there are still some of the special loaves available. By the time I get to the front of the line, I see there’s two left: one for the older woman in front of me, and one for me. There are two cashiers, so I go to the second cashier as the first one helps the older woman.)

    Cashier #2: “Hi! Welcome to [bakery]. Will this be all for you today?”

    Me: “Actually, can I have one of those [special loaves]?”

    Cashier #2: “Oh, sure!”

    Older Woman: “What? She can’t have that! It’s mine!”

    Cashier #1: “Ma’am, you already have one. We can’t allow you to have another one.”

    Older Woman: “It’s not for me! It’s for my daughter!”

    (She then points to the woman standing behind me, who looks equally annoyed.)

    Cashier #2: “We’re sorry, but we can’t hold this for her. This customer asked for it first.”

    Older Woman: “But I was here first! And I’m holding one for my daughter!”

    Cashier #1: “Ma’am, we can’t do that. It’s against store policy.”

    Older Woman: “Well in that case, I want to return everything! I don’t want to shop here if that’s how you treat your customers!”

    (The older woman has purchased a lot of items, and begins to unload her bag onto the counter. At this point, the people in line behind us are getting agitated, and the cashiers are looking distraught. I roll my eyes.)

    Me: “You know what? Just give it to the woman behind me.”

    Cashier #2: “Are you sure?”

    (I nod. The older woman gets a smug look, as she and her daughter leave the bakery with their items.)

    Cashier #2: “We’re so sorry that happened, but thank you!”

    Me: “It’s no problem. It wasn’t worth the drama.”

    (I pay for my original items, and turn to leave when Cashier #1 stops me.)

    Cashier #1: “Hold on a second. We just pulled out a fresh batch from the oven. Would you like one?”

    Me: “Yes, please!”

    (Not only was the bread I had delicious, but it was even fresher than the two the older woman got!)

    Challenging Customers Throw You A Battery Of Tests

    | ON, Canada | Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Top, Transportation

    (I have just gotten off of work, and am enjoying my meal as I wait for my ride home to finish their shift. I get a call in the break room from the customer service clerk; he seems a bit flustered.)

    Customer Service Clerk: “Are you okay to clock back in for an emergency sale to a hostile customer?”

    Me: “I’ll be right up.”

    (I put my uniform back on, and clock in. I go to the main desk.)

    Customer: “About f****** time someone helped me properly!”

    Me: “I’m sorry for any confusion or undue hassle, sir. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “My f****** truck won’t start, and I think it’s the battery. The lights don’t even come on, and I sure as h*** don’t want to be stranded in this f****** place’s parking lot! Get me a new battery!”

    (I lead him back towards my department to get the proper car battery for him.)

    Me: “Can I ask for the year, make, and model of your vehicle?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It is our usual policy to find the exact battery.”

    (He gets into more of a huff. We find the right battery and I ask for his info to do up the proper paperwork.)

    Customer: “What the h*** do you need all this for, anyway?”

    Me: “Well, we just need to make sure we take care of our customers properly. When it comes to vehicle maintenance, we take it seriously, so we don’t end up messing things up and making you have to deal with more trouble.”

    (He gets huffy again, but I take down the required info.)

    Customer: “Well, that’s over. Oh, wait… d*** it!”

    Me: “What’s wrong, sir?”

    Customer: “I don’t have any tools to take out the old battery and stuff!”

    Me: “Well, hang on for another moment, and I can go get them. Then I will take your old battery out, and replace it with the new one. That way you can get out of here, and back home to do what you planned on doing.”

    (He narrows his eyes at me, but nods and waits for me at the desk. I go get the tools, and come back so he can lead me out to his vehicle. I do just as I said I would. I even wish him a good evening after all is said and done. The next day he comes back in. I see him making his way back to my department while I’m still working. He’s smiling somewhat sheepishly.)

    Me: “Hello again, sir! Is everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah, everything’s great! Heck, the truck runs a bit better now, too. It’s been years since I had to change the battery. I just wanted to apologize for how angry I was last night, and for how I treated you.”

    Me: “Well, it’s no big deal, sir. I can imagine you’d had enough hassle form the situation.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you got that right. Look, I think you’re an outstanding young man, and I want to thank you for helping me out in a pinch.”

    (He shakes my hand, but I notice the feeling of paper also being handed to me in the handshake. I look down in my hand and see a $20 bill.)

    Customer: “That’s for dealing with my grumpy old a**. Thanks again!”

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