Category: Bad Behavior

Hideously Illuminating

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement

Customer: “I’m looking for a light for over my dining table. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure!” *we determine how big her table and room are, and set off to look at our stock* “Did you have a particular style in mind?”

Customer: “Well, what are people buying these days?”

Me: “It varies with personal taste, but…” *I gesture to one particularly popular modern chandelier* “…this one has been a good seller for us recently.”

Customer: “That’s awful! Who would buy that?”

Me: “Okay, well, did you have something more like this in mind?” *I lead her to another very popular piece, this one quite classic*

Customer: “It’s so ugly. I’d never have that in my house!”

Me: “Would you mind if I asked what in particular is turning you off? I’d like to get a better feel for your style.”

Customer: “I don’t know. I just hate it!”

Me: “Okay, how about this one?” *this goes on for a while, with me pointing out lights of various styles and colours, and her harshly vetoing all of them without giving any reasons*

Customer: “These are all hideous! I don’t understand why you’re showing these to me. Where are your nice ones? Do they only make ugly chandeliers these days?”

Me: “Well, it seems like the best idea would be to let you browse, and see if anything catches your eye. Even if something is close to what you’re looking for, it will give us a jumping-off point. We also have lots of catalogues too, if you’d like to take a look there.”

Customer: “But you’re supposed to be helping me! What kind of salesperson are you? I didn’t come here to look at some stupid catalogues. I don’t know what to pick! You’re supposed to tell me! What would you pick for your house?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I only like ‘hideous’ things, so I doubt my advice would be helpful. I have other things to attend to, but I’ll be just over here if you need me.”

Customer: *storms out*

Entitled And Newly Titled

, | Mankato, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

(My mother and I are deciding on a gift to buy for a sick relative. I wander away so she can check out but a few minutes later she comes over to me, empty handed and confused.)

Mother: “I was at the register about to buy it, but a woman standing next to me looked over and grabbed it out of my hands!”

Me: “You’re kidding! Did she ask for it?”

Mother: “No! She just grabbed it and handed it to the cashier. And the cashier rang her up!”

Me: “Mom, there’s a phrase that my friends and I use. It makes you feel a bit better sometimes.”

Mother: “Okay…” *keep in mind, she is an older and very mild mannered woman*

Me: “Entitlement b****!”

Mother: *happily and with great diction* “Entitlement b****!”

Their Welfare Status Is Okie Dokie

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal, Money

(I am a dental assistant at a dental surgery and move between answering phones and assisting the dentist. We have irate patients regularly, who get treatment done and then claim they weren’t told how much it was and refuse to pay, or try to get refunds on treatment already received, or try to get money refunded that was paid for by the government. This particular patient was the latter case. I have come up with a useful way to deal with these stressful phone calls.)

Me: “Good morning, [Dental Clinic]!”

Patient: “It’s [Patient]. You guys told me I’d be getting my money refunded for my dental care! I want my money back and you haven’t put it in my f****** account!”

Me: “Just give me a minute sir, while I bring up your file and have a look… Oh, I see. Yes, the money for your dental care was being refunded, but since your care was paid for by [Welfare], the money will be refunded to them.”

Patient: *suddenly polite* “Oh, no, no. [Welfare] told me that you can give it to me and then I’ll give it to them. No problem!”

Me: “I highly doubt [Welfare] would have told you that, sir. We deal with [Welfare] directly, and will refund the money straight back into their account.”

Patient: “THAT’S MY F******* MONEY! You mother-f***** con-artists better give me that money! I DESERVE THAT MONEY!”

Me: “No need to swear, sir. There is really nothing more to discuss.”

Patient: “YOU GIVE ME THAT GOD-D*** MONEY!! IF I DON’T SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT BY TOMORROW, I WILL COME AND SEE YOU!”

Me: “Okie dokie. That won’t be happening, sir.”

Patient: “I’M SERIOUS!  I’LL COME DOWN THERE! YOU BETTER TELL YOUR BOSS TO WATCH HIS BACK!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “I KNOW WHERE HE PARKS! I DESERVE THAT MONEY! YOU GUYS ARE RIPOFFS, F****** C****!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir.”

Patient: “F*** YOUR ‘OKIE DOKIE!’ GO TO H***!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. I’m hanging up now. Have a nice day.”

Patient: “F*** YOU. IF YOU HANG UP I’M RINGING BACK UNTIL I SEE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT!”

Me: “Okie dokie, sir. Goodbye.”

Patient: “I SAID F*** YOUR OKIE DO—” *click*

Moms Of Gall Street

| New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Movies & TV

(I am a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. A woman and her clearly young teenaged kids approach me and hand over tickets for Wolf of Wall Street.)

Me: *looking at the two young kids* “Um, boys, do you have any ID?”

Woman: “Why do they need ID?”

Me: “Because it is an R18 restricted film, and they look far under age. Legally we have to ask.”

Woman: “I’m their mother, so it doesn’t matter. I give them permission to see this.”

Me: “Well, no, I can’t actually allow them to enter, ma’am. It’s law that unless they are over 18, with valid ID, they can’t actually go into the movie, parental consent or not.”

Woman: “Oh, my God, are you kidding me? I’m their mother, and I say they are over 18!”

Me: *not convinced* “I still need valid ID.”

Woman: “They are over 18. Don’t you believe their d*** mother?”

Me: *facing the kids again, as the woman is getting agitated* “Boys, what are your birthdates?”

(Both boys struggle for a while to remember when they are born, one answering at being 16 years old and the other at 23, most obviously NOT being 23.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t let you into the movie, boys. You’re not 18, and it’s a pretty hard restriction.”

Woman: “I paid for these tickets, so you will let us into the movie theatre! They let us buy them downstairs without this bull-s***!”

Me: “These are pink Kiosk tickets from the machine. The machine clearly states the restriction, with a warning that you will be checked for ID upstairs. You can return downstairs to swap them for another movie.”

Woman: “I don’t want to f***ing swap to another movie! We want to watch this one!”

(At this point I’m about to use my walkie to contact my manager and let them know to come up to sort out the customer, when the another customer interjects.)

Customer: “Lady, I don’t know how this girl talked to you without throwing you out on your a**. What kind of a mother are you, letting your young boys in to watch a movie about sex, drugs, hookers and h*** knows what else?! Take your tickets, go watch something else, or just plain p*** off!”

(The woman was stunned for a while, before taking off to get her tickets changed. I called to the desk to let them know she was coming and what had happened. She tried to get a full refund and free tickets for the ‘terrible service and inconvenience.’ She was refused.)

Don’t Earn Enough Dough To Deal With This Dough

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I work in a grocery store, and overall I love it! But I’ve watched the same mother do this multiple times. She has a kid who is almost a teenager, and always walks by the pizza dough, then plays with it like it is a basketball. She picks it up throwing it around, and spins it. She looked at her kid, and then me.)

Mother: “Oh, kids, I’m glad we are giving you something to do since you are getting paid.” *walks away*

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