November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Bad Behavior

You’re Only Cursing Yourself

| USA | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(One of the few good policies is that we can hang up, with no warning, on customers if they start cursing at us.)

Technical Support Representative #1: “[Company] tech support. What may I help you with?”

Caller: “Your [bleeping] piece of [bleep] is not [bleeping] working.”

Technical Support Representative #1: “Sir, if you don’t stop cursing and tell me what the issue is…”

Caller: “[Bleep] you, just fix the [bleep]ing piece of [bleep].”

Technical Support Representative #1: *click*

Technical Support Representative #2: *same thing*

Technical Support Representative #3: *same thing*

(By now we are sharing the customer number and start answering:)

Technical Support Representative #6: “If you curse, we hang up…”

Caller: “[Bleep].”

Technical Support Representative #6: *click*

(A few more rounds of this and he finally gets to me.)

Me: “Shut up and listen. We are here to help you. You curse, I hang up. Now tell me what’s wrong and I’ll help you. Your call, curse or help?”

Caller: *in a rather meek voice* “Okay, but I’m a bit frustrated.”

Me: “Don’t worry; I’ll walk you through it.”

(He cursed once in the conversation, paused and apologized. It took only ten minutes and was a really a simple fix.)

Needs To Make A Clean Break

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

(I’m trying to clean out a theater between shows, when the crowd waiting for the next show decide to come in and have a seat.)

Me: “Excuse me, but could everyone please give me a few minutes before you come in? I’m trying to clean up before the next show.”

(Everyone ignores me and continues to find a seat.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m trying to finish cleaning. Could you wait a few me a few more minutes?”

(People still keep coming in, and the theater is beginning to get crowded.)

Me: “Uh… I need to finish cleaning in here.”

(More people keep coming, and I finally give up and head back out to the lobby. A few minutes later one of the customers storms back out.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir. That theater is a mess! Why doesn’t somebody go in there and clean it?”

Me: *face-palm*

Opening His Account And His Mouth

IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(I am opening an account for a high school age kid. He has been attempting to hit on me the entire time. I’m in my 20s, but have been told many times that I look to be about 18, so I’m used to this, but this kid is starting to get on my nerves. He’s been at my desk for 40 minutes. I set up the account half listening to his attempts to impress me, and am trying to politely get him out.)

Me: “So, looking at your ID makes me feel really old.”

Customer: “Oh yeah, why?”

Me: “Because you were born in [year]. See, I was born [seven years earlier], so the fact that someone seven years younger than me just opened a bank account makes me feel very old. Speaking of which, your account is all ready to go. Do you have any questions about it?”

Customer: “I’m feeling old today, too! My back and my legs hurt! I think it’s because I play sports. Football, basketball, MMA fighting… Yeah, I do it all.”

(This kid is shorter than I am and quite skinny.)

Me: “MMA? Seriously?”

Customer: “Uh-huh. Impressive, right?” *grins*

Me: “I have a cousin that does MMA for real. He’s about the size of three of you.”

Customer: “Well… uh… I’m small, but I’m quick! You have to watch out for me!”

(The kid did not stick around much longer after that.)

Some Callers You Just Can’t Hold On To

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work for a well-known tech company, and take calls for its many products. The company also offers email to its customers, but this is not something we’re trained to help with. The following happened with a coworker and our supervisor.)

Customer: “I logged into my email on the library computer, and it WON’T LET ME REMOVE MY ACCOUNT. Let me talk to a supervisor!”

Agent: “Okay, well, I’d be happy to help with that. I support [Other Product], but removing your account from the computer should be easy enough.”

Customer: “NO. I want a supervisor. Transfer me NOW. And no hold music. I hate your hold music. No putting me on hold. I need to logout of this computer before someone steals my personal information.”

Agent: “I do want to let you know that if I transfer to my supervisor, it will put you on a hold. I’ll do it as quickly as possible, and at most, you’ll get a few seconds. He’s right there and ready for the call.”

Customer: “NO! No hold!”

(By this time, the supervisor has been informed by my coworker what’s going on, and is trying to get her to transfer it over.)

Supervisor: *walks over to my coworker and mutes the call so the customer can’t hear* “He won’t transfer?”

Agent: “Nope. He refuses to listen to hold music.”

Supervisor: *leans over and types his extension into the phone and runs back to answer the call at his desk, while my coworker and I stare at each other with bewildered looks* “Hi, I hear you’re unable to logout of your account on the public computer?”

(The call goes on, and he gets up and comes over to us a few minutes later.)

Me: “So, what happened?”

Supervisor: “The guy was talking to me IN the library, yelling and raging as someone shushed him in the background. I just heard him getting kicked out of the library, and fighting with the librarian about needing to finish his call. Then he hung up.”

Me: “All this because he doesn’t know how to clear his browser history. Classy guy.”

This Conversation Has A Beautiful Final Destination

| UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

Customer: “I’d like to go to [Destination #1] today, then on to [Destination #2] tonight, then back here tomorrow.”

(I know that in order to get from Destination #1 to Destination #2, the customer will have to come back through here, so I sell her a here-to-Destination #1 return and a here-to-Destination #2 return.)

Customer: “Excuse me; this isn’t what I asked for!”

Me: “Sure it is, that will get you to [Destination #1] today, [Destination #2] tonight, and back to here tomorrow.”

Customer: “No! I wanted a single to [Destination #1] and then a [Destination #1] to [Destination #2] return! This is disgraceful customer service. You are useless at your job. You ought to be f***ing fired because you can’t even listen to what people want! You need re-training so you learn not to sell the wrong tickets and waste honest people’s money! How much have you overcharged me, so I can let your manager know how you’ve f***ing stolen from me!”

Me: “Actually, ma’am, I’ve saved you £26.”

(The customer was left gaping while every other customer in the queue who’d heard every word started laughing at her. It was the most beautiful moment in my working life so far.)