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    Category: Bad Behavior

    RPG = Really Pretentious Gamer

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

    (It’s a slow day, and there are only two customers in the store. One of the customers, a friend of mine who’s 21, but looks like a high-schooler, comes to the counter with a copy of ‘Halo 4′.)

    Friend: “I’d like to buy this, please.”

    (Suddenly, the other customer, a guy in his mid-20s, runs up and attempts to rip the game out of my friend’s hands. My friend manages to leap back in time.)

    Friend: “Hey, man! What is your problem?”

    Customer: “What the f*** are you doing buying that s***? Little whiny b***y kids like you shouldn’t even be touching this!”

    Friend: “I’m 21, and even then you could just say that, and not try to grab it from me!”

    Customer: “Yeah, well, you shouldn’t be supporting Microsoft anyway! They’re fascist f***s ruining the industry with their generic frat boy s***! It’s a**-holes like you who only encourage them!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s enough! If you’re going to continue insulting my friend or his gaming preferences, I’m going to ask you to leave the store.”

    Customer: “Hmph! That a**-hole is no gamer! Real gamers play RPGs, not shallow generic First Person Shooters! I would’ve smashed that s*** and laughed in his face!”

    (As he storms out, he gives one last parting shot.)

    Customer: “When the second crash occurs, it’ll be on your hands!”

    Out Of Cigarettes, Out Of Patience, Out Of Luck

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (My uncle works as a manager at a local gas station. I have just stopped by to drop him off a plate of food. I am on a first name basis with nearly all of the employees. I’m just finishing up a conversation with one of the clerks, when two customers walk up.)

    Clerk: “Welcome to [gas station]; what can I get for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Can I get a pack of [brand] cigarettes]?”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, but it seems like we have run out of that specific brand. Can I get you something else?”

    Customer #1: “You always run out of the f***** cigarettes whenever I’m here!”

    Customer #2: “I told you this store was f***** ghetto! Let’s go somewhere else!”

    Customer #1: “This is bull-s***! Whenever I come to this f***** store, they always seem to be out of f***** cigarettes! Is it too much to ask that you guys actually keep cigarettes in stock!?”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, but its been a busy weekend, and we have simply just run out. I could probably recommend another one of our gas stations nearby—”

    Customer #2: “We don’t need you to recommend s***! Get me your f**** manager right now!”

    (My uncle, who was helping out another customer, has heard the entire conversation. He comes to investigate.)

    Uncle: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer #1: “I’ll tell you what the problem is! Every time I come to this f***** store, you never have the brand of cigarettes I want! How hard is it to keep s*** stocked? This is why I don’t come to this ghetto-a** store!”

    Uncle: “Well, as my employee previously stated, we are all out of that particular brand. We are more than willing to sell you something else, or we can recommend one of our other locations, which is about a 10-minute drive away.”

    Customer #2: “We ain’t got no f***** time for this s***! Let’s get the f*** out of here. I hate this d*** store!”

    (They promptly storm out of the store. I walk up to the register to purchase my items.)

    Me: “Jeez, how hard is to take yourself to another store and buy your particular brand your looking for? I mean if it’s not here, then make things simple and move the h*** on! Don’t be a b**** about it!”

    Clerk: “We get it all the time, but we’ve just learned to tune it out.”

    Me: “It really isn’t necessary—”

    (Customer #1 storms back in the store.)

    Customer #1: “Which one of you said that? I heard what you said about me! Calling me a b****! I know it was you bad mouthing me!”

    (The customer starts pointing at the clerk.)

    Clerk: “I didn’t say anything about y—”

    Customer #1: “I heard what you said! Do you think I’m a stupid b****?! Give me your employee number; I’m going to write a letter to your corporate offices about this. I KNOW YOU SAID IT! I AM GONNA GET YOUR A** FIRED!”

    (I clear my throat, and tap the customer on the shoulder.)

    Me: “Actually, I said it!”

    (I’m pretty tall, at 6’2.)

    Customer #1: “What business is it of yours—”

    (The customer’s question trails off, and she turns and looks up at my face; her face pales.)

    Me: “I’ll tell you: it’s very much my business. You can find me in here almost every day, but it’s ignorant and stupid people like you that p*** me off! First off, it’s not this clerk’s fault that the cigarettes are out of stock. It’s not this store’s fault that they magically don’t have your particular brand of cigarettes every time you happen to come in. Furthermore, don’t you dare try and degrade this store. It treats all of its customers with respect, which is something in which you are OBVIOUSLY lacking. Another thing, if this store doesn’t have your cigarettes, “every time you come in”, then why don’t you just get a d*** clue and move on to the next store? No need for you to be raising all this h*** for nothing. As far as who said what, I made the comments about you being a b****, so if you wanna make something of it, then let’s step outside and I’ll be more than happy to kick your a**!”

    (The customer stutters, and hurries out of the store. The clerk high-fives me and my uncle treats me out to a movie and dinner later on that week!)

    Left A Stool In The Stall, Part 2

    | Leicestershire, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work in a store that is particularly popular with the elderly. I am helping out with the changing rooms. A little old lady shuffles up to me without any clothes. I try not to look.)

    Me: “Oh! Uh… how did you… uh… find it, ma’am?”

    (The lady gives me an awkward smile, and potters off.)

    Coworker: “She’ll have left a mess in the room; go tidy up.”

    (As I near the empty changing room, an overpowering smell hits me. I slowly open the door to the room, revealing the sweet little old lady has ‘relieved’ her bowels in a corner of the room! Whilst I am standing there, gagging in shock, me coworker appears and sighs.)

    Coworker: “God-d*** it, again?!”

    Related:
    Left A Stool In The Stall

    Body Language Lost In Translation

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Liars & Scammers, Top

    (One of our new employees is dealing with a customer who is clearly angry, and is being physically aggressive and threatening. We are on the verge of calling security, but we can see that our new employee is still very calm. We hit the button when we see the customer lunge at her, despite the fact that she doesn’t react at all, and just stares at him. I run over to see what’s wrong.)

    Me: “Hi there, I’m the manager. Is there a problem I can help with?”

    Customer: “This white b**** won’t give me the sale price!”

    (The customer waves a sale leaflet from one of our competitors in my face.)

    New Employee: *still very calm* “I tried to tell him that isn’t our flyer, and we don’t even have that item, but he doesn’t seem interested in hearing that.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me, you b****! You just don’t want me to get this great price!”

    New Employee: “Sir, I have two things to say. Firstly, that flyer is from last year—”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?!”

    New Employee: “Because, it’s for a summer sale, and it is currently February. Second, if we had that item at a great price and you wanted it but could not find it, I would do my best to track it down in-store for you. If we didn’t have it here, I would call other stores for you. The simple truth is that we don’t carry that particular item.”

    Customer: “How the f*** do you know?”

    New Employee: “Because, sir, it’s an adult novelty, and this is a children’s clothing store.”

    (Security arrives and escorts the customer out of the store.)

    Me: “I don’t know how you were able to stay so calm! You almost sounded bored! I don’t think your expression changed the entire time!”

    New Employee: “Oh, I have a lot of trouble with body language. I figured out a long time ago that when I get confused, it’s better not to respond at all, because usually I laugh and it makes them angry.”

    (She’s now one of our area supervisors, and is actually better at handling the rare aggressive customer we get than our security team. This is because, apparently, a person who can’t be intimidated makes people uncomfortable.)

    Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

    | Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

    (My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

    Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

    (The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

    My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

    (The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

    My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

    Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

    Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

    (We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)

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