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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Bad At Math But Good At Infractions

    | Ventura, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Math & Science

    (My mom and I are in line at the register. In front of us is a customer with clearly a lot of things.)

    Cashier: “Okay, your total comes to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “No, that’s not right. The dog food and water comes to $8.00!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; let me try again. It still comes back to $15.31.”

    Customer #1: “Look, you stupid b****! This should all come to $8.00! Old hags like you shouldn’t be f****** working today. You’re too stupid!”

    (The cashier is in tears. My mom overhears this, and walks up to the customer.)

    My Mom: “Now you listen, little brat. This woman has been polite, calm and patient with you. Just shut the f*** up and buy your things! Maybe if you had the intelligence to check the prices instead of relying on others, you wouldn’t be in this situation, would you? I’ve had an awful day, and I don’t want to spend the next ten minutes listening to your God-d*** mouth!”

    (The customer remains silent the whole time. He buys his things and leaves. We walk up to the register.)

    My Mom: “So, how was your day?”

    Cashier: “Great! Thank you! I’ve been really stressed out. I really needed that.”

    Me: “If you lived with us, you would hear a lot more than that!”

    (We share a laugh, and the cashier gives us a discount on our things on behalf of my mom shutting the customer up!)

    Cart Thief

    | Denver, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

    (I am helping a customer load a large item into their truck. They will need twine to secure their large kennel.)

    Me: “Okay, I will be back with twine.”

    (When I come back out, I see that they have used my cart rope to secure their load.)

    Me: “You can’t use that; I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “It’s okay; we’ll bring it back.”

    Me: “No, I need it to push carts.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    (I get my manager.)

    Manager: “We have twine; the cart pushers need that to push their carts.”

    Customer: “Twine isn’t as good though.”

    Manager: “I’m sorry; I cannot claim liability. That is a device to secure carts; you cannot use that to safely secure loads. Please give it back.”

    Customer: “Okay, fine!”

    (I go to get my rope, but the customer just drives off! The next week is really busy, and we’ve run out of carts. This leaves the customers having to wait for cart pushers to bring back carts, or to go into the parking lot and find it themselves. We cannot send more than three cart pushers, because we do not have enough rope. I see the same customer waiting while I am taking a break.)

    Customer: “What is wrong with you! There are no carts! This is no time to stand around while people are waiting. How come you guys don’t know to send more people!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’ve been pushing carts for two hours, and I need to stay hydrated. And besides, someone, if you remember took our rope. Therefore, we can only send three people out to carts.”

    (The customer doesn’t know what to say. He gives me a dirty look, and starts to walk away. He runs into my manager.)

    Customer: “Your employee is accusing me of stealing your ropes! You guys are so incompetent! You can’t even get your s*** together and get carts!”

    Manager: “I told you last week to not take our ropes. Get out of my store; I don’t want to see you here anymore.”

    (The customer kicks a cart on the way out and speeds off. As he does, I can still see he hasn’t unloaded the kennel, and it’s still secured with the rope.)

    Tinker, Tailor, Waiter, Spy

    | Mendoza, Argentina | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a US citizen. I don’t look like a native Argentine. I’m with a group of my friends. I have a face that is often mistaken for a worker wherever I am—even in the USA. I grab a menu so I can decipher it while we are waiting for a waiter. A customer grabs me by my lapels.)

    Customer: *in Spanish* “We’ve been waiting for 40 minutes and no one has come. Why? We’re hungry and livid!”

    Me: *thinking quickly* “I’m sorry, ma’am. We got a sudden lunch rush. Half of our wait staff called off because of sickness, and those who are here are working as hard as we can.”

    Customer: “It’s not enough! You better take our order, NOW!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, you’re next on my list. I’ll take care of you right now. Let me go get my stuff; I’ll be right back.”

    (She shoves me away, and into another table. I stand up, apologize, and rejoin my friends.)

    Friend: *in English* “What was that all about?”

    Me: “That lady has been waiting for a while and she’s angry about it.”

    Friend: “So… she… thinks you’re a waiter?”

    Me: “Yep, and she’s going to be waiting a while longer.”

    I’m Afraid I Can’t Allow You To Speak To Dave

    | Manchester, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in the debt recovery department of a national mail order company. The department is small, and the only white men are our senior managers, neither of whom are connected to the telephone system in any way. All the other men are Asian, and have traditional Asian names. I am female, and have quite a high-pitched voice. About half an hour after dealing with a perfectly nice, male customer, he calls back and gets me again.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! You’re speaking to [My Name] again. How can I help you?”

    Customer: *yelling* “I was talking to Dave earlier, and he’s completely f***** everything up!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; you must be mistaken. You spoke to me earlier, and your payment plan was sorted out. We agreed to—”

    Customer: “I’ve never spoken to you! I spoke to Dave! I want you to transfer me to him so he can sort this s*** out!”

    Me: “Sir, please refrain from swearing. I can assure you, you did not speak to ‘Dave.’ There is no one here by that name. You spoke to me at [time] this afternoon.”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a f****** liar?”

    Me: “Sir, please stop using language like that, otherwise I will have to terminate this call. I think you might be mistaking us for another company you may have called today. Not only is there no-one called ‘Dave,’ but my user ID is the only one to access your account in the last month, and I recall speaking to you earlier.”

    (The customer starts screaming so loud, I turn the volume down on my headset. My colleagues are getting distracted by the noise, and even my manager is peering over at me. Eventually he stops for breath.)

    Me: “Sir, there is no point in me lying to you, as you clearly don’t believe me. Why would I make my life and yours difficult by continuing to ‘lie’ to you? Also, the idea that I could be mistaken for a man is… Well, I don’t even…”

    (At this point, my colleagues are all either laughing, or trying not to because they’re on the phone to other customers. My manager’s eyes have gone wide.)

    Manager: “Hang up, and I’ll call him back.”

    (I do as I’m told. Two minutes later, my manager comes over, grinning widely.)

    Manager: “He admitted straight away he might have been wrong, and paid up.”

    Silent Running

    | Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (A regular comes in every day for cigarettes. I am always a polite and friendly cashier, who asks how the customers are.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today?”

    Customer: “How are you today? How am I today? How am I today? Every day you ask this, and you really don’t care how I am, so in future don’t ask; just give me my cigarettes!”

    Me: “Oh, err… okay…”

    Customer: “That’s better. You remember that now!”

    Me: “I will…”

    (From that day on, every day when he comes and buys his cigarettes, everything is done in total silence.)

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