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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Past The Night’s Watch

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (To prevent anyone from sneaking into the park, the area is surrounded by an 8-10 foot high wall. I’m working at the season-pass entrance, when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Uh… a few teenagers just jumped the wall.”

    (I stare blankly at her, as in my entire time I’ve worked at the park I’ve never heard of anyone getting over that wall.)

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The wall. I saw three people climb over the wall: two guys and a girl in their early twenties.”

    Me: “Uh, thank you for telling me. I’ll scan your pass and inform security once you’re through.”

    Customer: “Hey, what’s behind that wall anyways?”

    (I think for a moment, before I remember that the Employee Area has a small gate that leads into a small grassy area behind the wall. If anyone jumped the wall, they would have no possible way to go but through that gate, essentially right into a congregation of 10-20 employees on their break and security’s lap.)

    Me: “Oh my god! It’s the employee patio!”

    (Sure enough, two security guards escort two guys and a girl in their twenties out of my entrance. The guys look giddy, like the whole thing is a joke, while the girl is holding her hand to her forehead, attempting to hide her face. One of the guys grins at me.)

    Guy One: “I’m sorry we tried.”

    Guy Two: “I’m not!”

    Girl: “Shut up both of you!”

    Failed The Balancing Act

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am working at a busy café, serving a customer who is busy gossiping with her friend.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to $4.95.”

    (The customer hands me her pre-loaded store card without saying a word. I swipe for payment.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like your balance is reduced to zero now. You just owe $0.35.”

    Customer: “YOU USED THE CARD?!”

    Me: “Yes, you gave it to me.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I just wanted the balance!”

    Me: “Okay, well you should say that when you hand me the card after I ask you for payment.”

    Customer: “UGH! Like… I have change!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry that you weren’t aware.”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** balance!”

    Me: “You have no money on the card. I told you your total. You gave me your card without saying anything. And so I used it. And now there is no money on it. And you still owe me $0.35.”

    (The customer gets red-faced, pays the remainder, and still tries to act cool leaving.)

    Time For A Tea-V

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

    Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

    Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

    Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

    Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

    (The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

    Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

    Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

    Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

    (My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

    Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”

    You Reap What You Soy

    | DE, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m a regular customer standing in line at my favorite coffee shop. It’s a busy morning, and the very friendly barista I know is flying through orders. Customer #1 is ahead of me waiting.)

    Barista: “I have a large latte for [Customer #1].”

    Customer #1: “Is that soy? I asked for soy.”

    Barista: “Oh no, it’s not. I apologize; the cup was not marked properly. I’m glad you checked.”

    Customer #1: “I have a severe dairy allergy. It was supposed to be soy.”

    Barista: “Well I do apologize; I’ll start another right away. We always say ‘soy’ when the coffee contains soy, so thanks for checking.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t need your attitude!”

    Barista: “I did not mean to give you any attitude, ma’am. Again I apologize. In fact, I have a diary allergy myself, so I understand. Here’s your tall latte with soy.”

    (I can tell that everyone around me is feeling uncomfortable witnessing Customer #1′s bad behavior. She starts to leave with her coffee, and turns to Customer #2.)

    Customer #1: “What a b****!”

    Customer #2: “You sure act like one!”

    (At this, the remainder of the customers shout statements of agreement.)

    Remainder Of Customers: “Yeah! Way to be a nasty person over a little mistake! Poor girl is just doing her job, and she’s hustling through it too! I would never want to have to put up with you! You really ought to be nicer to people who serve you your food!”

    (Customer #1 practically runs from the store. It gives me a little more faith in humanity!)

    Classic Banking Withdrawal Symptoms

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My bank offers free cookies to our customers to thank them for banking with us. Most people are polite and only take one cookie, two at the most for someone else waiting at home. One customer is notorious for going to all her local branches and taking every single cookie by dumping them in a grocery bag. Today, a coworker has just finished waiting on her while I am finishing up with a customer.)

    Me: “Is there anything else we can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes, what kind of cookies do you have?”

    Me: “We have peanut butter and chocolate chip. They are in a basket by the door on your way out; please help yourself!”

    (My customer heads over. Unfortunately, she’s right behind the other notorious customer with the grocery bag in her hand. He watches as the other customer picks up handful after handful of cookies and shoves them into her grocery bag and leaves, the basket now empty.)

    Me: *to my next customer* “Oh my God. I’m so sorry, sir. We just finished making a fresh batch. Would you like one or two?”

    Next Customer: *laughing* “No, no thank you. I guess it’s a sign that I don’t really need a cookie today!”

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