October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bad Behavior

Won’t See A Single Slice Of That Refund

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(I work for a one location pizza shop. A woman calls and orders a pizza and a salad and spends around fifteen minutes ordering, price checking, and deciding on her personal pizza and salad. My driver returns and ten minutes after she calls.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Pizza Shop] Pizza! Will this be for pickup or delivery?”

Woman: “Neither. I got a pizza from ya’ll and there’s a problem.”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that! How may I assist you?”

Woman: “See, when I ordered, I thought ya’ll were [Chain Pizza Shop].”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Woman: “So, yeah, I don’t want this. Send the driver back with my money.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t do that.”

Woman: “Why not?”

Me: “I answer every phone call with our shop’s name. You ordered from us; we fulfilled your order. Our transaction is done.”

Woman: “I must not have heard you. I don’t want this, though.”

(This continues on in this manner for another few minutes while my driver is stand there watching me incredulously.)

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you, ma’am. I will not send my driver out with a refund. This shop has never been [Chain Pizza Shop], this phone number has never been associated with [Chain Pizza Shop]. There is not a [Chain Pizza Shop] for ten miles.”

Woman: “I want to speak with your manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager.”

Woman: “I want speak with your supervisor.”

Me: “That’s me right now.”

Woman: “Well, who’s above you?”

Me: “That’d be our owner. He’ll be here at 11 am tomorrow morning.”

Woman: “What’s your name?”

Me: “My name is [My Name], ma’am.”

Woman: “Well, I’m going to call him and tell him how rude and unhelpful you’ve been.”

Me: “You tell him whatever you feel you need to, ma’am. Have a great night!”

Must Feel Like A Real Dingleberry

| USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(Our fruit flavors for our milkshakes are described as “real fruit shakes” on our menu.)

Customer: *smugly* “Real fruit shakes, huh? Tell me, can you even make a ‘fake’ fruit shake?”

Coworker: “Sure you can, if you use artificial flavorings.”

Customer: “Oh, yeah? Then what makes your shakes ‘real’?”

Coworker: *holds up our actual strawberries* “This is actual fruit. Anything else for you, sir?”

(He furrowed his brow and paid.)

No Problem Is A Problem

| Brighton, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Language & Words

(I notice an elderly man looking a little confused while browsing. I approach him to see if he needs any help.)

Me: “Hello, sir, can I help you at all?”

Man: “No, no. It’s ok; you don’t have what I want.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What was it you were looking for?”

Man: “It’s all right. I’ll go somewhere else.”

Me: “Okay, sir, no problem.”

Man: *suddenly irate* “No problem? No problem? Of course there’s a bloody problem! I can’t find what I want!”

Me: “I.. I’m sorry, sir. I just meant it as an expression.”

Man: “You people! Why do you have to say such stupid things!”

Me: “Again, I’m very sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to offend.”

(He gave me a snarling look then walked off muttering, “No problem? No bloody problem?” I stood there for a few seconds just staring at the back of his head as he left, completely dumbfounded!)

Damaged Beyond My Despair

| IA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(A library patron returns a DVD with the case so scraped and bent that it can’t be put through the unlocking machine.)

Librarian: “And there’s a $6.75 fine on your card.”

Patron: “What? Why?”

Librarian: “Your DVD case was damaged and will have to be replaced.”

Patron: “You people didn’t unlock it before we left. I gave it to my son, and he tried his best to get it loose. He only used a butter knife.”

Librarian: “I’m sorry we didn’t unlock it. When that happens, you need to bring it back to us, not try to pry it open.”

Patron: “We didn’t even get to watch it, so I don’t see why we should have to pay for it.”

Librarian: “The case is so badly damaged that it’s no longer usable.”

Patron: “How is that damage? It was only a butter knife!”

Not Getting Owned By The Owner

| Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

(I happen to work at a chain whose owner shares the same last name as me. It’s pure coincidence but still comes in handy as shown below:)

Me: “Hello there! Will this be all?”

Lady: *gives me a disapproving look and places her merchandise on my register. I continue making small talk as I ring her up*

Me: “Will this be on your store card today?”

Lady: “Excuse me, do you know who I am?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Lady: “I am Dr. [Name], wife of Dr. [Name]. As a regular customer I expect to be addressed accordingly!”

Me: “…uh… I do apologize, ma’am.”

Lady: “That’s DOCTOR [Name] to you! Are you not listening to me or are you just r******d?”

Me: “Again, I apologize. I’m still relatively new here and have not had a chance to get to know all of our regular clientele.”

Lady: “Well, I’m still going to report you for such blatant disrespect. Who is your manager?”

Me: “That would be [Manager].”

Lady: “Well, expect them to give you a proper reprimand when I tell them…” *she looks at my name tag*  “Wait… Your last name is [Owner’s Name]?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Lady: “As in the Franchise Owner’s name?”

(I nod and the lady suddenly looks a lot less irritated, and a lot more worried.)

Lady: “Uh… actually, as you said, you’re new so I can overlook this… Ermmm…”

(She scurries off and my manager comes over trying to suppress his giggles.)

Manager: “That woman comes in here and makes life hell for everyone just because she and her husband met the owner on one occasion at a party. Looks like I owe you an apology.”

Me: “What for?”

Manager: “I thought you were being pretentious by asking to have your first and last name on your name tag. Now I see the genius behind it. Well done.”

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