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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Not In Anyone’s Good Books

    | Bridgeport, CT, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Religion

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “I have a constitutional right to have my late fee waived!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. Please be advised that your payment didn’t post until five days after the due date, so the late fee is valid.”

    Caller: “Sir, do you realize that ‘The Good Book’ says you must forgive those of their transgressions?”

    Me: “Yes, I do. Please be advised that same book also says, ‘You reap what you sow.’ Sorry, but the late fee is valid.”

    Caller: “I suppose you’re going to tell me that the credit card agreement prevents you from doing that and that its my responsibility to have read it?”

    Me: “Correct.”

    Caller: “You know what… GO F*** YOURSELF!”

    Some Employees Never Grow Up

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Funny Names, Theme Of The Month

    (When employees forget their name tags we have temporary tags for them to write their name on and stick them to their shirts. One day I forget my tag, so I grab a temporary one and write ‘Smee’ as my name. I am called to assist an older couple with an issue at a register. After the issue is taken care of the conversation goes as follows:)

    Wife: “Smee? What kind of name is that?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s an old family name. Goes back many generations.”

    Wife:  ”Really? Is it European?”

    Me:  ”English, actually. It started with a famous relative.”

    Wife:  ”Oh, how famous?

    (The husband turns away and suppresses a laugh and smile.)

    Me: “Well I had a great, great, great, great, great uncle who sailed with a famous sea captain as his first mate.”

    Wife:  ”Really? What sea captain was that?”

    Me:  ”Oh, you know, Captain Hook!”

    (The husband cracks up.)

    Wife:  ”Oh, my. Wait. Who?”

    (At this point I got called away to another register. As I left the husband and the cashier were laughing and the wife was asking who Captain Hook is.)

    There Is No Calm Before The Storm

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (It is currently late at night, with a winter storm expected to come the following morning. I am running customer service when the phone rings and I answer it.)

    Me: “Hello, [Store] [Location] customer service desk. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’d just like to let you know that tomorrow morning is going to horrible and that all of the young people won’t be coming in. However, all of the elderly people that work will be, because they are the ones who really need the money. Bye!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: *click*

    (I put the phone back on the receiver and relay the comment to a manager.)

    Manager: “Oh my God, it’s not even tomorrow yet and they are ALREADY complaining!”

    He’s Not Exactly Professor X(Ray)

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (An elderly man in a wheelchair comes into the clinic waiting room accompanied by his adult son. This clinic is held upstairs.)

    Nurse: “Mr. [Man]?”

    Man: “Yep.”

    Nurse: “You’ll need an x-ray before you see [Consultant].”

    Man: “I’m not having no x-ray. I’ve had enough x-rays!”

    Nurse: “Well, [Consultant] has requested a new x-ray before he sees you today.”

    Man: “No, I’m not having no x-ray.”

    Nurse: “Did you want me to cancel your appointment today, then?”

    Man: “No, I’m here. I want my appointment.”

    Nurse: Well, [Consultant] can’t do anything unless you have a new x-ray.”

    Man: “Fine! I’ll have the x-ray.”

    Nurse: “Okay, then. If you’ll just take the lift to go downstairs to x-ray—”

    Man: “Down? I’ve just come up in the lift! I’m not going down again! I’ve had enough of this: up in the lift, down in the lift. I don’t like lifts! I’m not going down in any lift. You can’t make me.”

    Son: “I reckon you’ll be staying here all night, then, Dad. We’re on the second floor.”

    Seems To Have Enough Baggage Already

    | MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am in the middle of ringing up Customer #1, when the next person in line dumps her purchases on the counter. She then seems to notice the items I am scanning for Customer #].)

    Customer #2: “Those aren’t mine.”

    Me: “I know. I’ll be with you as soon as I’m done.”

    Customer #2: *looks annoyed*

    (Customer #1 only has a few items that are easily carried by hand, so I ask him whether he wants a bag or not. As soon as he leaves, I start to scan Customer #2′s items, and bag them for her as well. She has several small items.)

    Customer #2: *clearly offended* “Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted a bag?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Customer #2: *gestures towards the retreating back of Customer #1* “You asked HIM if HE wanted a bag! Why wouldn’t you ask me the same thing?”

    Me: “Um… I figured you might need one?”

    Customer #2: “You should have asked!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Would you like a bag?”

    Customer #2: “OF COURSE I want a bag!”


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