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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Thinks He Is Customer Number One

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer comes in. While he is a regular, no one on staff cares for him, because he always acts like he should get special treatment.)

    Me: “Hi, [Customer]. How are you today?”

    Customer: “Fine, Here’s your movies.”

    (He throws them on the counter, and they scatter everywhere. I start picking them up.)

    Me: “These movies didn’t come from here. In fact they aren’t even from another one of the stores in our chain, but a completely different one.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? So I can’t return them here?”

    Me: “No, you’ll have to take them back to [Competitor].”

    Customer: “I don’t see why! Don’t you know how much money I spend here?”

    Me: “Actually, I do know you’re in here quite often, but I still can’t take movies from [Competitor].”

    (He argues with me for a while, and I try to calmly explain why I cannot take his movies. He continues to be belligerent, and knocks over other things that we have sitting on the counter.)

    Me: “Sir, I am going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “Fine! I’m leaving and taking my business elsewhere!”

    (As I watch him leave the store, instead of heading toward his car, he goes around to the part of the building facing the road and proceeds to urinate all over the windows. The entire store has huge windows, so after all the ruckus he caused, my staff and our customers in the store all see this. Everyone is in shock over this display. I start calling the police.)

    Me: “Yes, I would like to make a report on a man who exposed himself and urinated on our building… Why, yes, I do happen to have his name and his address…”

    The Sauce Of Her Entitlement

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (10 hours into my shift, an entitled, belligerent customer begins barking out orders. After an arduous ordering process, her meal arrives.)

    Customer: “WHAT is THIS?”

    Me: “That’s the broiled seafood platter you ordered, miss. May I provide any other sides or sauces to complement your meal?”

    Customer: “What IS this?”

    Me: “Oh, that small cup of cocktail sauce? We provide cocktail sauce with all of our shrimp meals, as it is commonly requested.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t LIKE cocktail sauce! I won’t eat it!”

    Me: “Not a problem; you’re under no obligation to do so!”

    Customer: “I SAID that I don’t LIKE it! TAKE IT OFF MY PLATE!”

    (Although startled, I comply.)

    Customer: “Bring me something else!”

    Me: “Would you like drawn butter?”

    Customer: “I want shrimp sauce!”

    Me: “Cocktail sauce is the condiment we most commonly pair with our shrimp, but I’d be happy to bring you samples of our remoulade, tartar, hot sauce, Asian sauce—”

    Customer: “ASIAN sauce? What is that?”

    Me: “It’s similar to sweet and sour sauce.”

    Customer: “Is it spicy?”

    Me: “Mostly, it’s sweet and sour. I don’t find it spicy at all, but I can’t predict how it will taste to you.”

    Customer: “Ugh, you’re no help! Fetch me the sauce your executive chef recommends! Unlike you, he’ll know!”

    (Upon recommendation, I offer the Asian sauce.)

    Customer: “UGH! This is spicy! You lied to me!”

    Me: “I apologize; I did not intend to mislead you. Would you like to try another sauce?”

    Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t just bring me shrimp sauce! That’s what I want! You aren’t very good at this, are you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; the only ‘shrimp sauce’ we carry is cocktail sauce.”

    Customer: “Wait, cocktail sauce? That sounds about right. Bring that out immediately!”

    (The woman happily devours her cocktail sauce, casting me death stares all the while.)

    These Wheels Don’t Revolve Around You

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Top

    (A middle-aged customer approaches me. I’m helping an elderly customer who has fallen out of his wheelchair, back into his chair. I’m a small guy: about 5’6″ tall and 120lbs.)

    Middle-Aged Customer: “Hey, you!”

    Me: “I’ll be with you in a moment, miss.”

    (I continue struggling to help the elderly customer back into his wheelchair.)

    Middle-Aged Customer: “Help me now, d*** it! I’m in a hurry; he can f****** wait!”

    (I ignore her until I am able to get the elderly customer back in his wheelchair. I start checking to see if he is okay.)

    Me: “Are you sure you’re alright, sir?”

    (The middle-aged customer grabs my shoulder, pulling me to face her.)

    Middle-Aged Customer: “I said, NOW!”

    Elderly Customer: “Now listen here you b****! What the h*** gives you the right to talk to this young man—much less grab him—like that? He told you he’d help you in a minute. People like you are what’s wrong with the world. The world doesn’t revolve around you. Stop acting like a d*** child!”

    Middle-Aged Customer: *storms off*

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I am a customer at a supermarket. I am pushing a trolley with my baby in the child seat. My top is a similar colour to the staff uniform, but a very different style.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, where are the vitamin waters?”

    Me: “I don’t know. Did you look down the soft drink aisle?”

    Customer: “You aren’t going to show me?”

    Me: “No, why would I do that?”

    Customer: “It’s your job! I’m going to talk to the manager about you!”

    Me: “I don’t work here; I’m just shopping.”

    Customer: “Don’t you lie to me! I saw you put that milk back; you’re re-stocking shelves and you just don’t want to help me!”

    (A manager walks past. The customer grabs him and drags him over.)

    Customer: “This woman refuses to help me!”

    Manager: “She doesn’t work here, so she doesn’t have to. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Of course she works here; she’s wearing your uniform! How dare you cover for her laziness! I’m reporting you to head office!”

    Manager: “Ma’am, look at her trolley; we don’t sell babies. She’s shopping; she does not work here. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh! Um… sorry. I was looking for the vitamin waters… sorry…”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    He’s Not Taking Lying, Lying Down

    | Norway | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I work as a second line support, mostly dealing with emails from clients. One client is so nasty to my first line phone-support coworker, that she just cannot deal with him anymore. She begs me to take the call.)

    Me: “Hi, this is [name]. I was told you had some questions about the legal binding of your contract, and therefore you were transferred to me. Would you please clarify what the issue is here?”

    Client: “THIS F****** CHICK ON THE PHONE SAID THERE WOULD BE A F****** FEE IF I CHANGE MY PHONE PROVIDER! SHE’S F****** LYING! I WAS NEVER INFORMED THAT THIS—”

    (He trails off and just screams profanities. I remain silent until he finally calms down.)

    Client: “…um, hello?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am still here. However, as we will not be able to resolve anything while you are screaming at me, I figured I’d wait until you were finished. Anyway, from what I’ve gathered, you are upset that cancelling your contract will result in a cancellation fee?”

    Client: “YES! I already changed provider, and you guys sent me the bill! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

    Me: “Well, sir, did you receive your information text? It can sometimes be hard to get all the information from—”

    Client: “I DID NOT GET A TEXT! I WAS NOT INFORMED!”

    (I decide to pull up his actual contract, to check what information he actually received. I go quiet for a bit.)

    Client: “…um, hello?”

    Me: “Sir, I just pulled up your contract here. You are one of our few clients who actually got your contract from one of our sales reps, on paper. Normally, they are given electronically over email or text. But you got the full contract, complete with all the information about our terms, on paper. You wrote down your details yourself, and signed it. How were you not informed?”

    Client: “It did not say there were a cancellation fee!”

    Me: “Yes, it does. Right under where you put down the phone numbers you wanted the agreement for. Where it also says how long you have to stay with us before you can change provider without the fee.”

    Client: “But… I didn’t agree with that!”

    Me: “You filled out the contract, checked of the box that said you had read, understood, and agreed to our terms of agreement, and signed the document.”

    Client: “But… I didn’t read the terms of agreement!”

    Me: “But you signed that you did.”

    Client: “Well… but… You people should know that I was lying! I AM NOT PAYING THIS STUPID BILL!” *hangs up*


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