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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Self-Expression Lane

    | New Braunfels, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (At my store, we try to send out baggers with customers who have the electric carts so they can bring them back inside and keep them charged. We don’t keep baggers on our express ’10-items-or-less’ lanes, so I call down to another register to have a bagger help out the customer I’ve just checked out.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, someone will be down in just a moment to help you outside. Have a good rest of your day!”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (The customer scoots up a little bit, but not completely out of the line. I begin ringing up customer behind her while the bagger makes her way over to my end of checkout. A customer in my line starts yelling.)

    Yelling Customer: “Lady, you need to move!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Yelling Customer: “Get out of the way; you’re holding everyone up! You’re not the only person in this store you know!”

    (The bagger arrives about this time, and she and the elderly customer proceed outside. I continue checking out people and eventually reach the man who was yelling at the woman. He proceeds to unload his cart and clearly has way more than 10 items.)

    Yelling Customer: “Wow, some people are just so inconsiderate. They act like they’re the only people on Earth. They just don’t care!”

    Me: “You’re very right. I find there are many folks who are unable to count to 10 as well.”

    Yelling Customer: *shuts up*

    Piercing Judgments

    | Medford, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top

    (I have a purple/reddish birthmark about the size of a quarter above my eyebrow. I generally forget it exists. A self-important looking customer in his 60s comes to my register.)

    Customer: “Serves you right.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “What happened, did it get infected?” *huffs* “That’s what you get for piercing your face.”

    (Note: I have several small studs in each ear, but no other piercings.)

    Me: “I don’t know what you mean.”

    Customer: *smugly points to my eyebrow without saying a word*

    Me: “That’s actually a birthmark, but thanks for being so judgmental!”

    (The customer turns red, grabs his coffee, and quickly walks away without saying a word. He nearly spills his coffee on someone else in the process!)

    Past The Night’s Watch

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (To prevent anyone from sneaking into the park, the area is surrounded by an 8-10 foot high wall. I’m working at the season-pass entrance, when a customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Uh… a few teenagers just jumped the wall.”

    (I stare blankly at her, as in my entire time I’ve worked at the park I’ve never heard of anyone getting over that wall.)

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The wall. I saw three people climb over the wall: two guys and a girl in their early twenties.”

    Me: “Uh, thank you for telling me. I’ll scan your pass and inform security once you’re through.”

    Customer: “Hey, what’s behind that wall anyways?”

    (I think for a moment, before I remember that the Employee Area has a small gate that leads into a small grassy area behind the wall. If anyone jumped the wall, they would have no possible way to go but through that gate, essentially right into a congregation of 10-20 employees on their break and security’s lap.)

    Me: “Oh my god! It’s the employee patio!”

    (Sure enough, two security guards escort two guys and a girl in their twenties out of my entrance. The guys look giddy, like the whole thing is a joke, while the girl is holding her hand to her forehead, attempting to hide her face. One of the guys grins at me.)

    Guy One: “I’m sorry we tried.”

    Guy Two: “I’m not!”

    Girl: “Shut up both of you!”

    Failed The Balancing Act

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am working at a busy café, serving a customer who is busy gossiping with her friend.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to $4.95.”

    (The customer hands me her pre-loaded store card without saying a word. I swipe for payment.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like your balance is reduced to zero now. You just owe $0.35.”

    Customer: “YOU USED THE CARD?!”

    Me: “Yes, you gave it to me.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! I just wanted the balance!”

    Me: “Okay, well you should say that when you hand me the card after I ask you for payment.”

    Customer: “UGH! Like… I have change!”

    Me: “Okay, I’m sorry that you weren’t aware.”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** balance!”

    Me: “You have no money on the card. I told you your total. You gave me your card without saying anything. And so I used it. And now there is no money on it. And you still owe me $0.35.”

    (The customer gets red-faced, pays the remainder, and still tries to act cool leaving.)

    Time For A Tea-V

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I am manning the phones late on a Saturday afternoon.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [TV service]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “The TV’s gone wrong. There will be somebody in at six to fix it. The football’s on tonight.”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we cannot get anybody out until Monday.”

    Caller: “You have gotta be f****** joking. You advertise 24-hour service.”

    Me: “We have a 24-hour answering service to take the details. Repairs are carried out from 8 am until 6 pm, Monday through to Saturday.”

    Caller: “Look, c***! Get somebody round my house now, or I’ll come round there and smash your f****** face in!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, I can’t help.”

    Caller: “Okay ‘boy’, put me through to your boss. I want to talk to the organ grinder, not the monkey.”

    (The boss is in the office with me, and has heard my half of the conversation. My boss picks up the phone, and puts it in speaker mode.)

    Boss: “Good evening, sir. How can I be of assistance?”

    Caller: “Your f****** ‘TEA BOY’ has told me I can’t get my TV fixed today!”

    Boss: “The f****** tea boy is absolutely correct.”

    (My boss puts the phone down on the caller, cutting him off in mid-flow of swear words. He looks over and smiles.)

    Boss: “That’s the way to handle them. Now, how about a cup of tea now that you have been promoted?”

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