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    Category: Bad Behavior

    What Would Jesus Discount?

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Money, Religion

    (I’m ringing up a customer at a store that specializes in Christian books and church resources. She has two coupons: one for 20% off everything, and one for 40% off a single item.)

    Me: “…and with the coupon, your total comes to $18.95.”

    Customer: “No, no, you didn’t use both my coupons. I have two here, see?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use both of them on the same transaction. I used the 20% because it would save you more. You can hold on to the 40% to use another time.”

    Customer: “No! You have to use both!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it says that you can only use one coupon per item. The 20% covers everything in your order. It’s a better deal overall.”

    Customer: “Liar! It doesn’t say that anywhere! The manager at your other location lets me do this all the time!”

    Me: “No, he’s pretty strict about company policy. I’m positive he wouldn’t double up on coupons. Look here at the fine print: ‘Only one coupon per item.’”

    Customer: “You are a filthy liar trying to cheat me out of my hard-earned money! What is your name?”

    Me: “…my name, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I’m going to report you to corporate and you’re going to lose your job! What is your name?!”

    Me: “My name is [name], ma’am.”

    Customer: “[Name], got it. You’re going to be sorry!”

    (She snatches both her coupons away, and stomps toward the door. As she storms by the line of customers behind her, another customer pipes up.)

    Other Customer: “What a lovely Christian attitude you had talking to that cashier! That’s DEFINITELY what Jesus would have done!”

    (The angry customer goes beet red and flees. I never see her again, and no, she never called corporate to complain.)

    Drink To A Fine Resolution

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a bartender at a high end restaurant. I am currently working the bar alone with over 90 guests.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; I’d like to order!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I will be with you in a minute.”

    (The customer is obviously annoyed, but I have to continue. After about 30 seconds, he throws his debit card at me just as I pass him. I stop, pick it up, look at it, and throw it in the garbage bin behind me. I then continue to take orders.)

    Customer: “What the—did you just—”

    (I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at the customer as I finish pouring every one else their drinks. When he is the last one, I pick up the card from the bin and look him straight in the eyes.)

    Me: “Sir, I have three things to tell you. One, that was, by far, the rudest I have EVER been treated by a customer. Second, if I ever catch you doing that, I will talk to my boss and he will sort it out; he hates it when people are rude to his staff. And finally, if you had paid attention to how everyone else ‘paid’ you would know that it is an open bar, and your card does nothing.”

    Customer: *bright red* “I am so so sorry; I truly am. I think that I have had enough to drink tonight. I will take a glass of water.”

    (I smile, give him his water, and he gives me a tip.)

    Customer: “I know that this does not cover how bad I treated you. I am sorry.”

    (The same customer comes back a couple of weeks later, and he is still the best tipper I serve!)

    In Need Of Potty-Mouth Training

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a large store, and it’s nearly the end of my shift. Its fairly busy, and the customer I’m checking out is putting in her information for the check she’s writing.)

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and press ‘okay,’ and then sign.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (A couple comes up behind her with a three-year-old boy in the cart, and starts loading their items on the conveyor belt.)

    Young Boy: “F*** off!”

    Customer: “Excuse me!?”

    Young Boy: “F*** off! F*** off!”

    Customer: “Ma’am, shouldn’t you do something about your son’s mouth?”

    (The mother and father look shocked.)

    Mother: “Oh, h*** no! My son can say whatever he wants to some uppity b****!”

    (The customer looks surprised and hurt, and walks off after I give her the check and receipt. The manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Your son needs to stop yelling that to other customers in line.”

    Mother: “H*** NO!”

    Manager: “Then you can leave.”

    (The mother makes a fuss and leaves, while watching me like I have done something wrong. Afterwards, the manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “You wanna go home early?”

    Me: “Absolutely.”

    And The Children Shall Lead

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I am cleaning off my register, when I hear two customers arguing in my line.)

    Customer #1: “I was here first!”

    Customer #2: “No, I was!”

    Customer #1: “I WAS! I was here literally five seconds before you, b****! It’s my turn!”

    (Customer #2 rams her cart into Customer #1′s and gets ahead.)

    Customer #2: “I win!”

    (Customer #1 flips her off and goes to the next lane. I’m not really sure what to do, so I just start ringing up her groceries.)

    Me: “And how are you today?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, just fine! Can you believe the childish things people will do just to get ahead in line? I mean really!”

    A Real Woman Versus Half A Man

    | Waterbury, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Health & Body, Top

    (I am in line to purchase books. The cashier is a teenage girl who has somewhat obvious dark upper-lip hair. The customer she is currently serving speaks up.)

    Customer: “Is there anyone else who can scan my books?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but the only cashiers we have today are my colleague and myself.”

    Customer: “Your manager, then.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry; she’s covering in the café right now. They’re very busy as you can see.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not having some hairy bimbo with a moustache touching my books!”

    (The cashier looks like she’s about to cry. Having heard his last comment, I look up from reading the back of one of my books.)

    Me: “Sir, there’s no need to be rude. She’s just doing her job, and you berating her isn’t helping.”

    Customer: “No one asked you!”

    Me: “No, but you just happened to have p***** off the wrong person. Do you have a smart phone?”

    Customer: “Pssh, who doesn’t?”

    Me: “Do me a favor and google ‘polycystic ovarian syndrome.’”

    Customer: “That isn’t real.”

    Me: “Google it.”

    (The male customer takes out his phone and starts searching the internet. By this point, nearly everyone is watching the exchange, and a few people have run for the manager.)

    Customer: “It’s some woman thing.”

    Me: “It’s a disease caused by an imbalance between the estrogen and testosterone in a woman’s body. It messes with her whole reproductive system, and the increased testosterone can cause excess oil production, a slightly deeper voice, increased body hair and the possibility of a visible Adam’s Apple. Oh yeah, and in extreme cases, it can cause a woman’s body to be more boyishly shaped.”

    Customer: “The h***! How would you know?! This s*** makes girls look like Bigfoot!”

    (I point to the surplus of blonde hair on my arms, my somewhat broad shoulders, the marks of waxing on my neck, and the very slight Adam’s Apple.)

    Me: “You happen to be talking to someone who has known she’s had the disease for the last 10 years. My case is on the line of moderate to severe. It’s treatable, but the only options out there have already nearly killed me once, so I just wax and the rest of me is what it is. Regardless of whether this poor girl has it or not, you shouldn’t just judge people because of a little hair.”

    Customer: “So, you’re really a man.”

    Me: “No, I’m all woman, but a woman willing to kick your a** if you don’t apologize to this girl.”

    (The customer turns around and sees that not only is the cashier crying, but the manager and security have appeared.)

    Me: “Miss, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been in your shoes. I got made fun of all through high school.”

    (Security takes the guy and disappears. I walk up to the counter and put my books down.)

    Me: “I know it was presumptuous of me to throw ‘PCOS’ out there, but the look on your face when he made his comment looked all too familiar. My apologies.”

    Cashier: “I was just diagnosed with it a few weeks ago; it hasn’t sunk in yet. I got my first paycheck from here today and was going to get my lip waxed after work. How did you know?”

    Me: “Pretty much the comment he made about your lip. You know, aside from that, I can’t tell at all.”

    Cashier: “Really?”

    Me: “Really. You are a very lovely girl. There are support groups and such online where you can talk to other women and girls. You’re not alone.”

    (The cashier starts crying again, so the manager sends her on her break, and gives me an extra discount on top of my member card to thank me!)

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