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  • Category: Bad Behavior

    All Madness, No Meth(od)

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’m the evening manager. Customer #1 is buying an odd mix of items that are frequently used in meth production. He’s also buying spray paint, which is clearly labeled on the shelf and register that we require photo identification to validate age, due to city laws.)

    Cashier: “With the spray paint, I need to see identification, sir.”

    Customer #1: “F*** you, b****! You ain’t stealing my identity!”

    Cashier: “Sir, I cannot sell spray paint without seeing your ID. I can put the paint back if you’d rather not buy the paint.”

    Customer #1: “I’m buying the paint! B****, you can sell me my paint!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m going to ask you to leave.”

    (As I am talking, I see another customer in the back, starting to dial his phone.)

    Customer #1: “B****! Think you can f*** with me? Here’s my identi-f*****-cation!” *throws wallet at cashier* “I’ll get that back after you close!” *storms out the door*

    Customer #2: “I’ve called the cops already. Do I need to step out so you can lock the store?”

    Me: “Nah. We have video and I now have his wallet. Plus, he’s still in his car. Plate is [number].”

    (The other customer relayed the number to dispatch. As the cops pulled in, Customer #1 ran to the back. The cop announced he had a dog, and let the dog go. Apparently the customer thought the dog and cop wouldn’t see him lying on the dumpster lid.)

    Acting Like They Were Born In A Bearn

    | Austin, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, History, Language & Words

    (I work at a renaissance festival, where the workers are required to be in character when interacting with patrons. Two women are looking around the shop while their two boys, about seven or so, are horsing around with wooden swords. Sometimes I play along with the kids, but they’re getting out of control.)

    Little Boy #1: “DIE! I’m gonna get you! I’m gonna kill you!”

    Little Boy #2: “Not if I kill you first! RAAAAAAAAAAH!”

    (The moms look a little resigned to all this and don’t say anything, but now the boys are starting to trip and hit each other so I step in and yell to be heard over them.)

    Me: “Squires! Please take the arts of war outside my shop. We are a peaceful establishment!”

    (They stop dead and look at me, dumbfounded. Then they hastily scoot outside and begin whacking each other again.)

    Mom: “Wow, can you follow us around all day? They haven’t listened to us once!”

    Going All Godzilla On You

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (Two Caucasian customers, wearing sweatshirts from a local university, walk in to our Chinese restaurant.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Name] Chinese restaurant. What can I get for you?”

    Customer #1: “I’m here to pick up an order for [Name].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you asked for delivery when you placed the order. The food left for [address] 15 minutes ago.”

    Customer #1: “Ouch. Can you have the driver come back?”

    Me: “The driver has two other deliveries, so it will be another half an hour.”

    Customer #1: “I don’t want to wait that long. Tell the driver to give it to one of the homeless people near [University].”

    (At this point, Customer #2, who has been silent the whole time, starts screaming.)

    Customer #2: *to Customer #1* “Yo, man. I want my food. Make this a**-hole give me some food!” *to me* “Jap b****, give me my godd*** food. Didn’t the A-bomb teach you b******s some respect?”

    (Customer #2 then makes a number of additional ethnic slurs against the Japanese.)

    Bystander: “Hi, there. I’m sorry to interrupt your tantrum, but I’ve had enough of it and I’d like for you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “I’m sorry. I have no idea what’s gotten into him.”

    Customer #2: “I’m not leaving without my food. You can’t make me leave. You’re not the manager!”

    Bystander: “You’re right. I can’t make you leave the restaurant. I can, however, make you leave [University], being that I’m the provost.”

    (Customer #2 goes pale and bolts out of the restaurant!)

    A Nice Hot Cup Of Karma

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work in a small sandwich shop owned by my parents. We are famous locally for giving great value for money. It is Saturday morning and I am on my own. A customer walks in.)

    Me: “Good morning, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “How much is a tea?”

    Me: “£1.”

    Customer: “And how much do you get?”

    (I am a little taken aback by this, but I show him a cup. It’s roughly the same dimensions as a standard mug.)

    Customer: “That’s f****** ridiculous! Are you trying to f****** rip us all off!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t know what to say. We have the cheapest tea in the area that uses proper milk. I don’t make the prices!”

    (At this point a regular walks in.)

    Customer: “I don’t care! You don’t f****** know anything. Get me your godd*** manager. Do you know who I am?”

    Regular: “Excuse me? You shouldn’t swear at her, or call her stupid. She’s been serving me for a year now and she’s never let me down once!”

    Customer: *not looking at him or paying much attention* “Yeah, whatever, mate. Who the f*** do you think you are?”

    Regular: “Your boss’ husband.”

    (The customer turns, finally notices who the regular is, and runs out. I thank my regular by giving him a free plated breakfast. It later turns out that the customer was fired, ironically for poor customer service!)

    Good Customer Service Is A Balancing Act

    | Greensboro, NC, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Our store has a special sale going on. We have a nicely dressed sale table with a tablecloth and the items laid out on it. Customer #1 is approaching the counter. I am folding shirts at an adjacent table while my coworker rings up Customer #2, who has a young baby on her shoulder. We have seen her feeding her baby with a bottle while browsing the store. As they’re checking out, the baby suddenly starts spitting up. It miraculously doesn’t land on the mother’s clothing at all. However, it does go all over the floor, down the side of the tablecloth and gets on at least five DVDs and about ten books. It narrowly misses Customer #1.)

    Customer #2: *spins around, takes in the mess, and hurries out the door*

    (My coworker, Customer #1, and I stare at each other and the table in shock.)

    Customer #1: “The nerve of some people. That’s disgusting!”

    (I’m so flabbergasted that I can’t help but laugh.)

    Me: “Well, guess I should clean that up then.”

    Customer #1: “Do you want some help?”

    Me: “No, it’s fine. Guess all that babysitting finally comes in handy here!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure, dear? That was so incredibly rude. I couldn’t imagine making you do it all.”

    Me: “It’s fine. I’m just glad it didn’t get on you! Just let [Coworker] ring you up. I’ll be fine.”

    (Customer #1 continues to apologize for Customer #2 and to offer to help. I remove the damaged items and shift things around so I can take off the tablecloth. Once she leaves, my coworker mops the floor for me.)

    Coworker: “Well, at least she kind of balanced out the other one!”

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