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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Putting The Screwed Into Screwdriver

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I work in the hardware department of [Major Company]. I get a call 5 minutes to close.)

    Me: “[Major Company] hardware department. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, yes. I was looking to see if you have [item number] screwdriver set in. I have been looking at it for weeks, but have been waiting for the price to drop.”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Would you mind if I put you on hold for a minute while I go check?”

    Customer: “Sure thing.”

    *I put them on hold, find the set, and get back on the call*

    Me: “Hello, ma’am? We do have the set in stock.”

    Customer: “Oh, great, could you hold it for me?”

    Me: “Are you in the parking lot?”

    Customer: “No, why?”

    Me: “Well, we can only hold items at our registers until we close for the night on the same day.”

    Customer: “Well, how many do you have left?”

    Me: “This would be the last one, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Last one? What the hell?! Can’t you put it in back or something?! I’ll be there in 10 minutes to pick it up!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot. We can only hold items until we close for the night and we closed about, oh…” *looks at clock* “… 5 minutes ago, now. There is no way you would be able to pick it up tonight, even if you ordered it online. We can always order it to the store or even to the house if we don’t have any in when you stop by. Might I suggest ordering it onl—”

    Customer: “Don’t you dare mention that Internet hocus pocus! My husband needs this ASAP, and I’ll be there in 10 minutes AND IT. BETTER. BE. THERE!”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

    Customer: *hangs up*

    Coworker: “What was that about?”

    Me: “Some angry lady who’s going to be more pissed off than usual in about 10-15 minutes.”

    (I found out two days later that the angry lady did come to the store 10 minutes later and found the building closed. She came in the next afternoon, demanded the set, got upset when it was no longer available, proceeded to throw merchandise around the department looking for it, and had to be escorted out by security.)

    Are Jew Crazy?!

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Holidays, Religion

    (It’s mid-morning on Black Friday. A jovial customer comes in, hits on the young lady I’m ringing out, and then walks around the counter after being rejected. He sees my coworker.)

    Customer: “Hey! Hey, man. Are you Jewish?”

    Coworker: “What? No?”

    Customer: “Oh, good. So you’re American!”

    Coworker: “…what?”

    (The customer then quite happily left the store.)

    Bow To Their Crazy Demands

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I am going about my business as a shop assistant at a mid-range high street retailer when a large family comes in looking for a party dress for a little girl. The dress they pick has a ribbon around the waist to give it the correct fit, tied with a bow at the back, which has to be untied to get it on the child.)

    Customer: “Excuse me; do you have any more of these?”

    Me: “Did you need a different size or would you like to see the other colours in the range?”

    Customer: “Oh no, I want more of this one in the same size. The ribbon is not tied correctly on this one.”

    (I stared blankly in disbelief but my manager was watching.)

    Me: “I’ll run down to the stockroom and find out.”

    (I took the dress she had and re-tie the ribbon, but also brought two other dresses.)

    Customer: “Ooh, this one looks like it’s tied far better.”

    (She took one of the other dresses and UNTIED THE RIBBON to put it on her child.)

    Wanted A Quick And Dirty Fix

    | VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (Our company provides onsite tech support for companies not large enough to have their own full time staff. We offer a discount for our customers who bring their machines to our office and are willing to forgo same day service. Our receptionist is an obviously young but very pretty local teenager with red hair. I am the only female tech on staff and blond. A middle aged male customer has brought his computer back for the third time in just over a month. Each time he has dropped off the machine he has insisted that the female tech work on it. Sometimes our customers have favorite staff but I’ve never met this gentlemen. My coworker waves me over as I walk in the door.)

    Coworker: “This is Mr.J. He is still having problems viewing images on his system. I see you’ve done several scans and were unable to reproduce the problem.”

    Me: “Yes, I was able to remove malware and several toolbars but could not find a problem with opening image files or video. When the system returned I recommended a security package and ran diagnostics on the hardware.”

    (The customer has gone very red in the face.)

    Customer: “I wanted the other girl to fix my computer.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m currently the only female on staff but if you’re not satisfied with my work we can have our lead technician go back over the machine at no charge to you.”

    (The man is looking increasingly angry and upset to the point where my coworker is directing nervous glances to the back room.)

    Customer: “The redhead! The one that answers the phone on the lobby.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but she is a high-school student not a technician. As I said I can have coworker look at this for you instead.”

    (The man SLAMMED his hands down on the counter and then grabbed his tower, pulling all of our cables out of their positions and nearly sending our monitor onto the floor. After a mad scramble to unhook everything he stormed out, raging about how we had ruined everything. I looked back at my notes and every file he reported as not opening correctly was porn.)

    Giving You A (Prison) Break

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    Customer #1: “Thank God, this line is taking forever.”

    (There is no line at all, although the tables are mostly occupied.)

    Me: “Sorry about the wait, sir. May I take your order?”

    (The customer proceeds to rattle off a long, confusing, and often contradictory order, including such things as a meatless ham sandwich.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m a little confused by your order. Do you mean—”

    Customer #1: “—oh for God’s sake, I have to repeat myself now? Weren’t you paying attention the first time?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t want to get anything wrong. You made a big order, and—”

    Customer #1: *sighs* “I’ll repeat myself, but just this once. I hate dealing with lazy ignorant dropouts like you.”

    (He repeats his order, but I understand it even less because I am trying not to cry. He finishes speaking and snaps his fingers at me.)

    Customer #1: “Hello?! Punch it in, you dumb b****. I haven’t got all day, and—”

    (Suddenly one of the other customers; a strongly-built man who has been quietly sitting at a nearby table, roars and leaps to his feet, flipping the table and spilling his coffee in the process.)

    Customer #2: “GOD-D*** IT! ONE DAY OUT OF PRISON, AND ALREADY I HAVE TO MURDER AN IDIOT IN A COFFEE STORE!”

    (The rude customer shrieks and flees from the store. I and the remaining customers stare at the man, who quietly picks up the table and comes over to the counter.)

    Customer #2: “I’ll pay for any damage. If you could show me where the mops are, I’ll take care of the mess too.”

    Me: “I-I-I, um…”

    Customer #2: “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. There’s always gonna be an a** like that around.”

    Me: “Uh, you, um…”

    Customer #2: “Oh, the prison thing?” *laughs* “Never been in jail in my life. So, anyway, where’s that mop?”

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