November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Bad Behavior

The Breast Awareness, Part 2

| SA, Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

(I work in the store my parents own, when my father, who works at a hardware store up the road, comes in for lunch like he usually does. He proceeds to match stories with me about what we call ‘Thickhead Thursday’ customers. He tells me about a particularly rude man who abused all the assistants in his hardware store. No more than five minutes after, said customer walks into our store.)

Customer: *looks at dad* “OH, GOD!”

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: *still looking at my father* “I bought this watch band and I need a new crimp clip for it.”

Me: “Sorry, sir. We don’t keep them, but I can give you the maker’s details and you can contact him. He lives here in town.”

(The customer finally looks at me and notices I have decent sized breasts. His eyes do not move from them for the rest of the conversation.)

Customer: “Thank you for your help. You’re a lovely girl.”

(He leaves.)

Dad: “Shame, I wanted him to have a go at you.  I wanted to tell him to f*** off. Why didn’t he?”

Me: “I have breasts.”

The Breast Awareness

My Father The Zero

| USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I only see my dad once a year, as he lives out of state. We are out to eat with my step-mom and her kids. We order food and everything turns out perfect. My dad is always trying to get a free meal. He is quite large and is a very scary looking man.)

Waiter: “How is everything?”

Dad: “Well, our food came too quick! We could not even enjoy ourselves, the grits didn’t taste like they normally do, and I’m sure my family had something wrong with their dishes, too.”

(Right on cue, the rest of my dad’s family started to make stuff up about what was wrong with their dishes.)

Dad: “[My Name], how was your food?”

Me: “It was perfect!”

(The waiter, who looks over-stressed, smiles at me in thanks.)

Waiter: “Well, I will call my manager over and tell him.”

(The manager comes back.)

Manager: “I am sorry, sir, I can only offer you 15% off of your order, as you have done this before.”

(My dad then starts slamming his fists on the table and screaming about how he was in the army and how he should get his meal free, then screams at the waiter and calls him names.)

Waiter: *starts crying*

Dad: “Oh, look at the cry baby! Be a real man!”

Me: “Dad, shut the h*** up! For one, you were not in the army, you were in the navy, which you got kicked out of! Plus you even said the food was great!”

(My dad got mad at me, but he bullied the manager into getting his meal for free. I gave the waiter a ten dollar tip to tell him I was sorry. I saw how much of a bully my dad really is, and now I barely talk to him.)

It’s The Principle Of The Matter

| USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

(I am second in line, and it’s early morning on a Thursday. The area has just gotten a severe weather warning about freezing rain and hail. In front of me is a chipper customer chatting with the clerk as she pays for her 40-oz bottles of malt liquor.)

Customer: “I got four of these. Does the two for five bucks still apply?”

Clerk: “Sure does. You got the day off, do you?”

Customer: “Yep, I work for the school district, and school’s been cancelled! I’m gonna get shit-faced before noon!”

Clerk: *slightly shocked* “Okay, well, that’s $10.20. Have fun.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not teaching your kids. I’m the principal!”

Phoning In The Irony

| Michigan, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Technology

(My aunt is teaching me how to do dispatch at the gas station she owns, for whenever they’re busy. I’m too young to sell any cigarettes to a customer and someone else has to do it. If she’s busy or needs to help a mechanic she lets me run the front as long as I don’t sell any cigarettes, so I need to call for help on that a lot. A woman and her young girl walk in the store. The woman is on her phone playing a popular game.)

Little Girl: “Mommy! Guess what I learned at school today?!”

Woman: “Huh? Oh, yeah that’s great, [Little Girl].” *continues to play on phone*

Little Girl: “Mommy! I asked you to guess! It’s really fun; I promise!”

Woman: “Be QUIET! I’m busy! You can go pick up a piece a candy or something. I’m gonna pay for gas.”

Little Girl: “Okay!” *heads off, happy again, to get candy*

Woman: *walks up to our counter* “I need $20 on pump four, please.” *taps on phone*

Me: “All right, I’ll—” *I get a phone call from my aunt saying she won’t be back for a while and that I should call a coworker to help me with any cigarette sales* “—Okay, I’ll call her right away. Thank you.” *click*

Woman: *has put her phone away* “I find it very rude that you would talk on your cellphone while dealing with a customer! You young people must have those d*** things glued to your hands or something. You won’t even take the time to do your job!”

Little Girl: “Mommy, I got a [Candy Bar].”

Woman: “Yeah, okay.”

Me: “I’ll… just ring those up for you. That’ll be [total]. Have a nice day.”

Woman: *back to her game* “Huh? Oh, yeah. You, too. Come on, [Little Girl].”

(Honestly there have been dumber customers, but this really got on my nerves.)

Not Playing Games With The Game

| Denmark | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in returns and customer service for a large electronics retailer in Denmark. A customer enters with a desktop PC, and I can tell, before he even opens his mouth, that he is going to be trouble:)

Customer: “I bought this gaming PC and it’s supposed to be the shit and hardcore and everything, but I installed a game and it’s lagging and I want a new computer.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a problem; but let me just see if I can’t figure out what the problem is.”

(I take the PC out back and hook it up. Once it booted, I noticed a single game icon on the desktop. I started the game and sure enough, it was sluggish and unstable. Going on a hunch, I looked at which programs are running and found exactly what I was looking for. I pack up the computer and go back to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to help you with your problem, as the game is a pirated version.”

Customer: “What? This is total bull-s***. I bought this game yesterday from this store and it runs like s***.”

Me: “First of all, this game is three years old and not currently available in our store. And secondly, I can see from your µTorrent download list, that you are currently seeding the game, which is illegal. I cannot help you any further.”

(The customer hits the roof and starts ranting:)

Customer: “What? You won’t help me? What am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** computer now? It doesn’t work! Fix it.”

Me: “As I explained, I cannot help you with issues pertaining to pirated software. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to figure this out on your own.”

Customer: “I’ll just go buy an extended warranty and then smash the computer in the parking lot. You’ll have to give me a new one.”

(I try explaining to him that such abuse won’t be covered by the warranty, but he won’t listen. So while he walks inside the store carrying his PC, I calmly add a note to his receipt:)

Note: “This customer expressed intent to purchase an extended warranty for his PC and then deliberately smash the item, in order to get a refund.”

(10 minutes later I see the customer kicking his PC across the parking lot. I immediately look up recent receipts in the system and find a note on his extended warranty:)

Note: “This customer has been advised that smashing his PC intentionally will void the extended warranty, but he was adamant. We sold him the warranty, but can’t wait to refuse his claim.

(And yes, the security camera caught his little parking lot tirade.)