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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Common Sense Bounces Off His Head

    | Rotherham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

    (There have been a number of armed robberies in the surrounding area of betting shops, convenience stores and post offices. We are all pretty on edge when a customer comes in the store wearing a motorbike helmet.)

    Me: “Excuse me, could you remove your helmet please?”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “Could you remove your helmet, please? You’re not supposed to come in the shop with it on.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous; why should I have to take it off?”

    Me: “I’m not serving you while you have it on. Please remove it.”

    Customer: “If a [racial slur] came in here with their face covered, you wouldn’t ask them to remove it.”

    Me: “Seeing as that isn’t even relevant in this matter, I’ll ignore what you just said. However I will not serve you while you are wearing that helmet. There have been countless armed robberies in the area, so do you really think I feel safe with you walking in like that? Just be glad I haven’t already pressed the panic button.”

    Customer: *shuts up and removes helmet*

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am helping a customer with a return. Due to past misuses of the system, our registers are set to only do returns in the original payment method, or as a store gift card.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, this was done as debit. I can either put it on a gift card, or back onto the same card, if you have it on you.”

    Customer: “What? Debit’s the same as cash! Why can’t I get cash?”

    Me: “I apologize, but that’s our policy. We can only do it in the method it was originally done, or store credit.”

    Customer: “Well that’s just wrong. Debit is the same as cash! Everywhere!”

    Me: “I understand, and I am sorry, but these are the only options I’m allowed.”

    Customer: *handing me her card* “Well fine, put it back on the card.”

    Me: *as I slide the card* “It may take one or two business days to show back up. Here’s your copy of the return, and I hope you have a nice day.”

    Customer: *reading her return receipt* “Hey! It says credit on here! I paid debit!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The system has to credit it back to your card. It looks a little weird, but the money is going back.”

    Customer: “If I use credit, I’ll be fined! My card doesn’t do credit! That first receipt said debit!”

    Me: “Yes, the original purchase is definitely debit. Ma’am, it’s not charging your card; it’s crediting money back. I don’t know your particular bank, but there’s never been an issue—”

    Customer: “What is your name? If there’s a problem, I want to know. And give me that original receipt back. It says debit.”

    Me: “I’m [Name]. Give me just a second to copy some info off this receipt onto the return, and you’ll have it right back.”

    (At this point, the customer is fed up, and leaves without waiting for her original receipt. I staple it to the return, and turn to help the next customer. Several days later, the same customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi. I was in here a couple of days ago, and you were helping me with a return. I… just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you. I was having a bad day, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

    Me: “Oh! Thank you! I take it the return processed as it should?”

    Customer: “Yes. But even if it hadn’t, there’s no excuse for the way I was acting.”

    Me: “Well, thank you. Everyone has a bad day now and then.”

    (Her making a point to return and say sorry was such a pleasant surprise; it improved the whole rest of my shift.)

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    A**-hole In One

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a golf course that is situated in a residential area. I am talking to a friend of mine who owns a home on the course when a ball lands in his backyard.)

    Golfer: “Move!” *hops the fence*

    My Friend: “Hey! This is private property; get out of here!”

    Golfer: “No it isn’t; I paid good money to play on this course and I am going to play through.”

    Me: “Actually, sir, it is private property.”

    Golfer: *not listening* “Why the h*** do you put such stupid obstacles in the way? What kind of course has fences so close to the green?”

    My Friend: “It isn’t an obstacle! It’s my fence, and you are in my backyard. Now beat it before I call the police.”

    Golfer: “Shut the f*** up; you’re throwing me off my game.” *turns to me* “Shouldn’t you escort him off the course? He isn’t showing any etiquette.”

    (At this point my friend gets irritated and has gone into his house.)

    Me: “He doesn’t have to show any etiquette; he owns the property. You are the one I will be escor—”

    Golfer: “No he doesn’t! The course owns all of this; how stupid are you?”

    (My friend comes back with a bucket of golf balls, and dumps them where the golfer’s ball has landed.)

    Golfer: “What the f*** are you doing! I’ll never find my ball!”

    My Friend: “Good.”

    Golfer: “I paid good money for that ball, and you’re stealing it! I am calling the police!”

    Me: “It landed in someone’s yard. It is clearly stated in the rule book that a residential area is out of bounds, so he can do whatever he wants with it.”

    Golfer: “Shut up! What do you know? You’re just some kid!”

    Me: “Sir, please come with me. You are not welcome here anymore.”

    Golfer: “No! I can do what I want! I paid good money to—”

    My Friend: “I spend all day cleaning up after a**-holes like you that think they can do whatever they want. They rammed their carts into my fence thinking it was a personal cart stopper, and I had to finally shell out $1,500 to buy a new one because it eventually fell down completely.”

    Golfer: “I didn’t—”

    My Friend: “People like you have stolen my stuff, left their trash in my yard, even though there is a bin right there next to the tee-box. They have killed my dog, and one of you pricks had the audacity to walk into my house and use my bathroom without even so much as asking.”

    Golfer: *stuttering* “But the course owns it; I’m allowed to—”

    My Friend: “No you’re not. My property line extends another twenty feet past the fence line; you are trespassing. I own this house, this yard, and everything in them.”

    (My friend picks him up, and tosses him over the fence.)

    Golfer: “That’s assault! I am calling the police on you! I paid good money!”

    My Friend: “I don’t give a d*** how much you paid; this is private property and according to the state penal code, I can remove you just like I did.”

    Golfer: “I’ll sue! I paid good money!”

    My Friend: “Go ahead; I’ll be your lawyer.”

    (One of the owners shows up and escorts the golfer off the golf course. He is banned from playing there again. My friend now plays free for his trouble.)

    Putting The Sham Into Shampoo

    | Tinley Park, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I work at a 24-hour store as a cashier. From 7-8 am I am the only cashier on duty. A customer has just dumped two baskets FULL of travel size shampoos, conditioners, body washes, and sunscreens on the belt.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Make sure you put everything in separate bags.”

    (I look at literally hundreds of mini bottles on the belt and my eyes bug out.)

    Me: “You mean all the shampoos in one bag, and all the conditioners in one bag?”

    Customer: “Of course! You’re not that bright are you? No wonder you get s*** shifts at a crap place like this.”

    (At this point, another customer gets in line behind her and I can see his eyes bug out at all of the items as I have to check.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. That’s $98.74.”

    (The customer starts digging through her purse to find her wallet.)

    Customer: “I don’t have my wallet, so I don’t have my card.”

    Me: “Do you have cash or any other way to pay for the items?”

    Customer: “Do you not listen?! God you’re dumb! I don’t have anything!”

    Me: “Well, give me a moment. I have to have my manager come over and void out the order.”

    Customer: “You really should be nicer to your customers when your manager is around.”

    (My manager comes up and voids the order, all the while hearing this customer bad mouth me.)

    Other Customer In Line: “Lady, she’s just doing her job and she’s doing it rather well. I would have smacked you by now if you had talked to me that way. And if there is anyone dumb here, ma’am, it would be you who couldn’t even remember to bring your own wallet to the store with you.”

    Manager: *to the first customer* “I’ve voided the order, but I will keep all of it at customer service for you today so you can come back and get it later and not have to wait in line again.”

    (The customer gives the other customer in line behind her the finger, and huffs before leaving. My manager turns to the other customer in line.)

    Manager: “So, how big of a discount would you like today, sir?”

    Other Customer In Line: “Just my membership card thanks!” *to me* “You did good!” *grabs a chocolate bar from one of the racks* “Here, have this on me!”

    Going Off The Deep End

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I am a lifeguard at a public pool. While guarding the diving boards, I hear a loud smack from behind me. I turn to see two children who look to be about 10 or 11, standing in line for the high dive, yelling at each other.)

    Me: “Excuse me, is there a problem?”

    Boy: “YEAH! She hit me!”

    Girl: “NO! He hit me first!”

    Boy: “Nuh-uh! You hit ME first!”

    (I look and see that both children have red marks on their face, as if they were recently slapped. However, I have no way of finding out who started this fight.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but—”

    Woman In Line: “Send them to the back of the line! Punish those brats!”

    Me: *to woman* “Don’t worry, ma’am; I’ve got this situation under—”

    Boy: “You can’t send me to the back! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

    (The boy runs off in terror.)

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line! You can’t make me! I’ve been in line FOREVER!”

    Me: “I’m not going to send you to the back if the line. I just—”

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line!”

    Me: “I didn’t say—”

    Girl: “I’M NOT GOING! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! I’M TELLING MY DADDY ABOUT THIS, YOU F*****!”

    (The girl stomps away to get her father. A few minutes later, a rather large and intimidating man comes up to me.)

    Man: “Look, I’m sorry for how my daughter acted. We’ve been trying to teach her some manners. Don’t worry about it.”

    (Later, I find out that the man called the lead lifeguard, and I got officially commended!)


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