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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Went On A Jurassic Lark

    | Rapid City, SD, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Top

    (I work at a geology museum. A woman and her son, who looks about five, walk in. The boy is entranced by the mammoths, dinosaurs, and marine reptile skeletons on display. The mother looks unimpressed, and is on the phone for most of her stay. Since the building is kept at a pleasant temperature, she drops her heavy coat off with me at the front desk. Later, I spot her heading for the exit.)

    Me: “I hope you had a good time at our museum. Did you have any questions before you go?”

    Mother: “I’m not interested in your stupid dinosaurs.”

    (She heads for the elevator, which is around a corner. I assume she has her child waiting there, since I can’t see him in the rest of the museum. Three hours later, I see her son wandering around the displays, looking lost. I rush over to him.)

    Me: “Hey, buddy. What are you doing here?”

    Son: *in the most heartbroken voice ever* “Have you seen mommy? I fell asleep.”

    Me: “I saw her a little while ago, bud. Why don’t you have a seat over here? Do you have your mom’s phone number, or a way to contact her?”

    (Fortunately, he has a list of emergency-contact numbers in a tiny wallet. I call the one labeled ‘Mom’ in blue crayon, after giving him some paper and colored pencils.)

    Mother: “Who is this?!”

    Me: “This is [My Name], from [Museum's Name]. We have—”

    Mother: “You d*** well better ship me my coat, you b****! That’s a $500 coat, and I’m already on the other side of the state!”

    Me: “You also left your son here, ma’am. And I don’t have a box in his size.”

    Mother: *after a brief pause* “You son of a b****! You should have told me I left my kid behind! It’s going to take me five f****** hours to get back there!”

    (I decided to end the call, and instead called the police department. The mother stormed in a little over four hours later, long after the museum is supposed to be closed. She had a nice long conversation with child-care services. Her son gave me a hug and thanked me for staying with him. I still have his drawing of a plesiosaur.)

    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 4

    | Stuart, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Technology, Transportation

    (I work for a national electronics retail chain as a manager. I have one other employee working for me this night.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a new battery for my car’s remote.”

    Me: “Okay. Let’s take a look.”

    (The customer hands me the remote, I take it from her and quickly open it using a tool I keep on the counter. I find that the remote actually takes two button batteries, which is nothing unusual. I take them out and put them on the counter. I turn around and see I only have two left. I pull them off the rack, open one and put it in the remote. I go to open the second one and the customer stops me and snatches the still sealed battery out of my hand.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s one of the batteries you need for your remote.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    (I show her the numbers on the old batteries and new ones match.)

    Customer: “There’s two of them?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Where’s the other one?”

    Me: *I point to the battery in the remote* “I already installed it.”

    Customer: “I didn’t see you do that. Where did it come from?”

    Me: *I pick up the now empty battery package* “I just installed it.”

    Customer: “I want to see you install it.”

    Me: “You want me to take it out and put it back in?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (I take the new battery back out and put it back in.)

    Customer: “NO! I want to see you open it!”

    Me: “You want me to seal the package then open it again?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the packages come glued closed from the factory. I can’t re-seal it.”

    Customer: “Then get another one!”

    (At this point, I can tell the customer is going to be unreasonable but I do my best to keep my composure while my employee silently stands next to me observing.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I only have two left. One is already in your remote and the other one is in your hand.”

    Customer: “Listen to me you little p****! You don’t be condescending to me! Do what I tell you or I’m gonna complain to your f****** boss!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I am trying to help you. There’s no need for name calling.”

    Customer: “DON’T YOU F****** TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU MORON! THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE THE BOSS HERE! I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR SUPERIOR!”

    (At this point, the customer is unreasonably irate. I decide that $5 worth of batteries is not worth raising my blood pressure. I take out the new battery and re-install her old ones then close the remote.)

    Me: “Here you go, ma’am. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “YOU PUT THE NEW ONES IN?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I put your old ones back in.”

    Customer: “WHY THE F*** WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

    Me: “You are being overly difficult over something very basic. I have chosen to exercise my right not to serve you. Please leave my store.”

    Customer: “YOU CAN’T DO THAT TO ME! I’M GONNA CALL YOUR CORPORATE OFFICE!”

    Me: “I’ll be expecting to hear your complaint.”

    (The customer storms towards the door.)

    Employee: “Have a nice night, ma’am.”

    Customer: “SHUT THE F*** UP!”

    (The employee looks at me and smiles, dumbfounded by this ridiculous encounter. I then call my district manager and tell him about the encounter. He assures me he will stand behind my decision not to serve her. Minutes later, I go to the grocery store to get something to snack on and find the same woman standing in an aisle yelling at three managers of the grocery store.)

    Related:
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
    About To Get Charged With Battery

    Just Got Bumped Despite The Bump

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I am 9-months pregnant and just opening the door to the restroom as a patron taps me on the shoulder.)

    Patron: “Excuse me. Is this the ladies room?”

    Me: “Sorry. This is a single use stall, but we have restroom facilities in the main lobby.”

    Patron: “Great. That’s not too far for you to walk.”

    (The patron steps around me into the bathroom and slams the door in my face.)

    The Long Road To Christmas

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (It’s Christmas season, so the mall is jam-packed. I’m driving away from the bank which is not attached to the mall, but uses the same roads as the rest of the mall. Ahead of me is a car with two young ladies. Ahead of them, in the intersection, is a long-suffering police officer. Because of the heavy seasonal traffic he’s directing cars. At the bank’s driveway, also due to the seasonal traffic, cars are only allowed to turn right. There is a sign that states this quite clearly.)

    Young Lady Driver: *turns on left turn signal*

    Police Officer: *shakes his head and gestures right*

    Young Lady Driver: *gestures left*

    Police Officer: *shakes his head, points to sign, and gestures right*

    Young Lady Driver: *gestures left*

    Police Officer: *shakes his head, gestures right, and starts looking incredibly tired*

    Young Lady Driver: *angrily gestures left*

    Me: *HOOOOOOOONK*

    Young Lady Driver: *turns right*

    Police Officer: *smiles and waves at me*

    Me: *waves back and turns right*

    What Would Jesus Discount?, Part 2

    , | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Religion

    (I decide to visit my old work on the off-hours for a quick bite to eat. I am served by a new cashier.)

    Cashier: “Okay. That will be $11.89. Press the confirm button to make sure your order is correct.”

    (I go to press confirm when this occurs at the same time.)

    Cashier: “Do yo—”

    Me: “Do you want any sauce with that?”

    Cashier: “Uh…”

    Me: “Did I just ask you if you wanted sauce?”

    Cashier: “Yup. You sound like you’d be fit for this place.”

    Me: “I worked the day shift.”

    Cashier: “Uh, well. Okay.”

    Me: “I need to get out of the food service industry.”

    Cashier: “Hey, at least you didn’t scream ‘THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!’”

    (A few minutes pass. Another customer goes to order. She proceeds to yell at the cashier seconds after she finished placing her order. Having several years of bad customers under my belt I was pretty sure I could handle this one, even though I didn’t work there anymore.)

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “THIS CASHIER OF YOURS SCREWED UP MY ORDER! I WANT MY FOOD FOR FREE, AS IT’S THE CHRISTIAN THING TO DO!”

    (I see that this customer has ordered the food via a self-service order screen. The employee just reads the screen and then hands out the order.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I find it hard to believe that this cashier managed to screw up an order that is entirely dependent on the customer’s order screen.”

    Customer: “Don’t you dare talk back to me! It isn’t the Christian thing to do! God will ha—”

    Me: “Pardon me for a second, but I don’t understand you. While I might not be Christian, you claim talking back to you is not Christian. I’m not sure at what point you manage to assume a role higher than God to be able to dictate what is and isn’t ‘Christian.’ In fact just by doing that you are breaking two of the seven deadly sins! I’m sure that isn’t the CHRISTIAN thing to do.”

    Customer: “You’ll burn in Hell for this! I’ll make sure of it!”

    Me: “But isn’t that conspiring with the D—”

    Customer: “F*** YOU!”

    (The customer proceeds to run out of the building.)

    Cashier: “Wow…”

    Me: “The sad part is, she is a regular here and has been pulling that for months. Well, you had your weird customer, and your first ‘Not Always Right.’ I guess its time for your first tip.”

    Cashier: “This has been a long night…”

    (The cashier and I have been best friends ever since. That was her first day working there. Thankfully, she never saw the lady again.)

    Related:
    What Would Jesus Discount?

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