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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Empty Threats Over Full Coffee

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I’m currently a greeter, but whenever there’s a line for a movie I go help take tickets. We’re near the end of the line when I see a woman with a large coffee cup that’s not from our cafe.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t allow outside food or drink.”

    Customer: “But you don’t serve coffee here.”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, we have a cafe just on the other side of the concessions.”

    Customer: “Well, their coffee’s crap.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t let you bring that into the theater.”

    (The customer SPIKES her full coffee cup into the nearby garbage can.)

    Customer: “I’m never buying any food from you again!”

    (She storms into the theater. My coworker, who finished the line while I was dealing with the customer, looks at me.)

    Coworker: “What kind of threat was that? She’s not buying anything from us NOW!”

    First Day Back And Already Pooped

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (A customer runs in.)

    Customer: *breathlessly* “Where’s your bathroom?”

    Me: “Down the hall to the right.”

    Customer: *runs off*

    (I see him a few minutes later, walking back.)

    Customer: “Thanks… Uh, could you tell the person who cleans the bathrooms that I’m sorry?”

    Me: *confused* “That you’re sorry?”

    Customer: “Yes I tried to hold it in but… I didn’t make it in time.” *leaves*

    (I go to the men’s bathroom and take a peek. Feces are everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, on the mirror. It looks like an explosion. I close the door. Sometime later the bathroom cleaner walks in.)

    Bathroom Cleaner: “Hey, [My Name]. Good afternoon.”

    Me: “Hey. Oh, before you go—”

    (Too late, she’s already opened the door to the men’s.)

    Bathroom Cleaner: “WHAT THE H*** HAPPENED HERE?”

    Me: “Er, well…” *explains*

    Bathroom Cleaner: “Geez! I just got back from vacation, to feces on the wall!”

    In Threat Of A Disconnect

    | Nottingham, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a large local cable and telephone company. My department deals with clients that haven’t paid their bills and had their service suspended. I have dealt with a lot of abuse everyday for the last two years. This has taken its toll and I’m now in my final week of my month’s notice. A particularly vile client has come through. We have suspended his cable service on the day of a big football match.)

    Me: “Good afternoon. You’re through to [Cable Company]. My name is [First Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Listen b****. You need to turn my cable back on right now! I’ve got f****** friends coming over to watch the match!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It looks like your service has been suspended as you have two months charges currently outstanding. We will be unable to reconnect your service without the account being settled in full. However, if you would like me to take a card payment now I can get you reconnected in about 10 minutes.”

    Customer: “Listen, you’ll get your money when I’m good and ready. I’m sick of your company. I swear I’m going to rip your f****** equipment out of the wall and throw it in the garden if you don’t switch it back on NOW!”

    Me: “I wouldn’t advise that, sir. The box is leased, so any damage would be added to your bill. So, did you wish to make a card payment so I can get you reconnected?”

    Customer: “LISTEN, YOU S***!”

    Me: “Can you please refrain from using bad language? You have not paid your bill for two months and would have received a notice and a final notice to warn you of this. If you are unwilling to pay the bill today there is nothing further I can do for you. Once you pay at [locations] or over the phone I can get you reconnected.”

    Customer: “YOU F****** B****! YOU CONNECT MY TV RIGHT NOW OR I’M COMING DOWN THERE WITH A KNIFE AND A BASEBALL BAT AND I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! CONNECT IT NOW OR I WILL KILL YOU!”

    (Although death threats are quite common, for some reason, maybe because I’m working my notice, I find this one extremely funny and begin to laugh.)

    Customer: “WHAT ARE YOU F****** LAUGHING AT?! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

    Me: “The reason I’m laughing, sir, is that you have threatened to kill me despite me having your full name and address on screen. I could report you to the police but to be honest I think that would be a waste of their time. So, did you want me to process a payment or not?”

    Customer: “I’M COMING DOWN TO YOUR OFFICE NOW WITH A BASEBALL BAT!”

    Me: “Well, sir, I’m not sure how you’re going to as you live in [town about an hour and half drive] and I’m due to finish my shift in half an hour at an office where over 500 people are employed. You only have my first name and no idea what I look like, so I wish you well. Also, while you’ve been on the phone I’ve noticed your phone bill is also overdue and will make sure this service is also suspended so you do not incur any further fees to increase your outstanding balance. Now, if there is nothing further I can do for you I’ll have to say goodbye as I’m going home to watch the football match this afternoon.”

    Customer: *unintelligible screams*

    Me: *as brightly as possible* “In that case, thank you for your call. Goodbye.” *click*

    Closed To All Reason

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

    Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

    (I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

    Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

    (At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

    Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

    (The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

    Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

    (Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

    Efficiency Deficiency

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’ve always prided myself in my fast service. Also, it should be noted that I always treat each guest the same, since they are all equally important in my eyes. One day, I’m checking in a lady at top speed.)

    Me: “Here is your key, and have a nice day!”

    Lady: *puckers face* “How rude!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Lady: “It’s like… you just want me out of your way! Well, excuuuuse me to be a bother! Hmph!”

    (She storms off. I figure she took offense at my speed and decide to be slower at the next customer.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you?”

    Next Guest: *impatiently* “Enough with the small talk and give me my room!”

    Me: *sighs*

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