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  • Category: Bad Behavior

    Scary Movies

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a semi-regular that’s fairly creepy, but always super chatty. One night, as I’m cleaning the popcorn popper, he comes up to concessions without my noticing. One of my coworkers gets my attention and I go to help him.)

    Semi-Regular: “I was thinkin’ about scarin’ you, but he got your attention before I decided.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t scare easily.”

    Semi-Regular: “Clearly you don’t know me very well.”

    I Don’t Work Here Is Lost In Translation

    | Midlands, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

    (I work in a department store, but am not employed by that company so I can’t handle their furniture or answer questions about it either. To help customers realise there is a difference, I tend to wear coloured clothes as the host store staff can only wear black. I’m currently cleaning a selection of finishes and the customer beckons me over.)

    Customer: “Thank god we found someone. Now, we want something that is full wood. Nothing veneered and nothing of this chipboard rubbish. Do you have any?”

    Me: “My company doesn’t do full wood pieces, only veneers. If you find any of the ladies or gents in black who are in charge of [Host Store]‘s stock, they’ll be able to help you. I’m a rep from a different company so I don’t know their stock.”

    Customer: “No.” *starts to slow her speech down* “Do you have any full wood pieces?”

    Me: “Like I said, I don’t, but if you find one of the ladies or gents in black they may have some.”

    Customer: *slowing down to the pace you’d use to teach babies new words now* “Dooo yoooou haaaave aaaanny fuuuuull woooooood piiiiieeeces?”

    Me: “No. As I’ve said, my company doesn’t but [Host Store] may do.”

    Customer: “You really don’t understand what I’m saying and you sound foreign!”

    Me: “Eigentlich bin ich aus Deutschland, aber ich war in England angehoben. Ich versichere Ihnen, ich verstehe dich, aber ich kann nicht sagen, das Gefühl.” *actually I am from Germany, but I was raised in England. I assure you I understand you, but I can’t say the feeling is mutual*

    (With that the customer storms off and I see her repeating the whole thing again to one of the Host Store people.)

    Silenced Her Cake-Hole

    | Wasilla, AK, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I am in at the customer service desk behind a lady who is attempting to make a return.)

    Customer: “This is false advertising! You’re f****** lying to your customers!”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, ma’am?”

    Customer: “THIS!” *slams a half-eaten cake onto the counter* “The label says it’s ‘German Chocolate Cake!’ I bought it for my book club as part of our International Cuisine week and they tell me it’s not from Germany at all!”

    (The clerk and I both get the same look of utter disbelief.)

    Clerk: “Erm, yes, ma’am. German cake is named after the man who created it, Sam German. It has nothing to do with the country.”

    Customer: “Well, how the h*** are customers supposed to know that? Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was by this? I should sue you for emotional distress!”

    Clerk: “Do you have your receipt? We normally don’t return food if it’s half-eaten but I’ll see what can be done for you.”

    (The woman shoves her receipt in the clerk’s face and grumbles as the clerk goes off to check with her manager.)

    Customer: “Honestly, can you believe the type of people they employ here?”

    Me: “Yes, I know. It’s quite impressive, isn’t it? I doubt I’d have been that patient if it were me behind the counter.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Well, she’s happily making the effort to circumvent policy for something that is not at all her fault. If that had been me you were yelling at, you’d probably be wearing that cake right now, and have been kicked out of the store for being such a clueless, abusive idiot.”

    (The customer opened her mouth as if to say something, but couldn’t think of anything. When the clerk came back, saying she could give the woman a full refund, the customer quietly accepted it and quickly took her leave.)

    In A Very Angry Slate

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is trying to return a flat cart loaded with at least $400 worth of slate tile. I work as an inventory manager at this particular store.)

    Customer: “I need to return this tile.”

    Returns Associate: “Do you have a receipt or at least the box this tile came in?”

    (The customer had neither, so the return could not be processed. The argument went back and forth until finally the customer stormed out of the store. He left his cart of slate tile by the front door, then got into his vehicle and drove it in front of the store. I assumed he was going to load everything back into his vehicle. Instead he dumped the tile onto the ground and moved the cart inside. He got back in his truck and drove it over the pile of tile, back and forth three times, then sped away. All of the employees watched this with wide eyes. We grabbed a couple of trash cans and loaded up the broken pieces. I asked a manager if I could take any of the whole pieces of tile home and was told I could. I was able to completely tile my front porch with all of the whole tile! The customer could have easily sold his tile to any of the contractors or resale shops in the city but instead decided to ‘show us.’)

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Religion

    (I’m not a thin woman, but never considered myself to be HUGE. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and it makes it very hard to get my weight to go down, so I’m kind of touchy about it.)

    Customer #1: “Aw, when are you due?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Were you just talking to me?”

    Customer #1: “Yes, when is your baby due?”

    Me: *quietly, so as not to embarrass either of us any further* “I’m not pregnant, miss; I’m just a little large.”

    Customer #1: *quite loudly* “What! That’s not a little large. You’re huge! You look like you could pop at any second!”

    Me: “Um, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not pregnant, and I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your comments to yourself.”

    Customer #1: “It is my duty by God to inform you that you are living an unhealthy lifestyle and gluttony will lead you straight to Hell. What do you weigh? 500lbs!?”

    Me: *now on the verge of tears, as EVERY customer is looking at us* “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. First off, no, I weigh 220lbs. I lead a very active lifestyle. I have a disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Please, you’re embarrassing me.”

    (Another customer, who has witnessed the conversation, approaches.)

    Customer #2: “Miss, you need to stop. I can clearly see your upsetting her.”

    Customer #1: “NO! She must learn the dangers of her ways. It’s not too late for her to repent and change. You get down on your knees right now and beg God for forgiveness and you’ll be saved.”

    (At this, she actually pulls a bible from her bag and starts waving it at me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, please just buy your items. You’re upsetting me. Please.”

    Customer #2: “Ma’am, I’m going to call the police if you do not stop this.”

    (I am now crying as the customer is reading furiously from one random passage of the bible almost screaming. She notices I have a bowl of candy on the table next to the register. She picks it up and flings it.)

    Customer #1: “You see! It’s these that cause that! Gluttony! You’ll burn if you don’t repent!”

    Me: “Those are for children! I don’t even like suckers!”

    Customer #2: *tries to take her by the arm and lead her from the store she smacks him in the head with her bible*

    Manager: *comes running from in the back* “What in the world is going on here!?”

    Customer #1: “You allow sinful, gluttonous employees here! She must repent or she’ll burn in Hell! It is my duty to make her see the evil of her ways!”

    (The customer now goes to the door and opens it and starts screaming this outside at everyone who walks by.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve called the police. You need to leave right now. You’ve upset my employee and injured a customer.”

    Customer #1: “He’s assisting the devil! He’ll burn with the harlot! You’ll all burn!”

    (She rants like this for 10 more minutes before the police arrive and arrest her. The man she hit with the bible had to have dental work done on his front teeth. She was charged with disturbing the peace, harassment, resisting arrest, and assault. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a $2,000 fine. My boss gave me a week off with pay.)

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

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