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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Southern Discomfort

    | Washington DC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am giving out samples of hot sauce with tuna salad. An old man with a long grey beard and a thick Southern accent comes up to my table…)

    Me: “Hello, sir, would you like to try some tuna salad with hot sauce?”

    Customer: “Maybe. Can I see the hot sauce bottle?”

    Me: *thinking he wanted to see the ingredients* “All right, sure.” *I hand him the bottle*

    Customer: *carefully shakes the bottle, then tips it upside down to see how much is left*

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “Good girl, you’ve used a lot of it.”

    Me: “Well, I’ve been serving it to a lot of people.”

    Customer: “Yee-hee!”

    (The man unscrews the bottle, then tilts his head back and starts shaking hot sauce into his mouth.)

    Me: “Sir! Sir, I have to ask for that back now!”

    Customer: “Hee-hee. You can’t say you’re Cajun unless you can do that. You need one of those little bottles. I can chug them. Can’t call yourself Southern otherwise. Yee-hee!”

    (The man handed back the bottle and walked off. I sanitized the bottle as thoroughly as possible!)

    The Gay Card Is Double Sided

    | San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

    (I’m a volunteer at a small convention. Instead of badges, attendees are given blue wristbands. My job is to check for wristbands as people enter the convention. I don’t want to stop the guests, so I just look at their wrists as they pass and only stop them if I can’t see the wristband. Two young women come in holding hands. As usual, I look to see if they have wristbands as they pass.)

    Woman #1: “Excuse me? Didn’t your mother tell you that it’s rude to stare?”

    Me: “What?”

    Woman #2: “So we’re holding hands, big deal! We’re not going to hide our love just to accommodate bigots like you.”

    Me: “I was just checking to see if you have wristbands. Which you do, and now you’re blocking the door, so can you please move?”

    (They both turn pink and hurry away.)

    Related:
    The Race Card Is Double Sided

    Cash-Backtrack

    | QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I’m the supervisor in charge for the night and am standing right behind my coworker. The bank situated right next to us recently moved and they didn’t even leave an ATM, so we get lots of people who only want to withdraw money.)

    Customer: “I would like to withdraw money, please.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, but we do not offer this service. If you want to withdraw money, you need to buy something.”

    Customer: “But I don’t need anything. I just want money.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry ma’am, but it costs us money when people take cash back, so we can’t accept any withdrawal if you do not purchase something.”

    (The customer insists she doesn’t want to buy anything and I can see my coworker starting to lose patience. So I turn around to face the customer.)

    Me: “We’ll charge you for a plastic bag. It’s only a nickel. Withdraw as much money as you want.”

    Customer: “Finally!”

    (My coworker gives me an annoyed look, but he proceeds with the transaction. As soon as the transaction is done with and the woman gets her money, she looks up at my coworker.)

    Customer: “I almost forgot! I’ll take a $2.00 lottery ticket!”

    Unhappy To Have Nothing To Complain About

    | PA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (It is after dark and I am attending to a line of customers as we have had a pretty busy night due to the holidays. An older woman comes up to my register.)

    Me: “How are you today, ma’am?”

    Customer: *is quiet for a few moments before throwing her items onto the table* “Hello.”

    (I begin to scan her items all the while she makes numerous demands of how she would like everything bagged a certain way. I am pleasant and cheerful the entire time as she has caught me in a good mood.)

    Customer: “And see that you pack these together! Oh, and all the food in one bag. And make sure that box isn’t scratched!”

    Me: “Oh course. That’s no problem!”

    (I smile and continue to pack her things. There is a long pause.)

    Customer: *in a sharp and sarcastic tone* “Well, you sure are… chipper and rather fast today.”

    Me: *I smile* “Oh, I try to be! I’ve been here so long this job just comes as second nature.”

    Customer: “Well, see that you stop that! You’re going too fast for me! And stop being so happy!”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    (The woman walks off as I am left stunned.)

    Coworker: “Did you really just get yelled at for being too nice?! Now I’ve seen it all!”

    Picture Perfect Racism

    | Thunder Bay, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bigotry

    (To generate more sales, we offer the customers a deal where, if they purchase $50 worth of extra sheets, they can purchase a full session CD for $89.99, which is regularly $250. The customer I am working with is First Nations, as I live in a community with a large Native population.)

    Me: “So with this coupon, if you spend over $50 in extra merchandise, you can upgrade your CD for $89.99 if you’d like!”

    Customer: “Not interested.”

    Me: “Okay, not a problem. We’ll continue looking through your photos.”

    (This goes on for some time while the customer’s two children, aged four and six, run around the studio lobby screaming and knocking things over. The customer finally puts the four-year-old girl in the uncomfortable looking mall stroller, where she promptly begins to scream in my ear. I continue with the sale.)

    Me: “In this shot I felt like the kids were very posed, it has nice smiles from both of them though.”

    Customer: “It’s ugh… Ugh! They’re all ugly! Why didn’t you take pictures of my kids like that! *gestures to stock photos on the wall of a little girl dancing around*

    Me: “Generally the sessions that these types of pictures come from are sessions that start in the morning and last all day with corporate level photographers.”

    Customer: “Whatever…”

    (The little girl next to me is still screaming as her brother is banging away on the other computer’s keyboard. I pause so that the mother could intervene with the noise and turn slightly towards the girl to indicate why I’ve stopped. As I turn I see that the girl has raised her skirt, showing clearly soiled underwear that are the cause of her distress.)

    Customer: “Hey! Don’t you f****** look at her! You f****** pervert!”

    Me: “Sorry. I thought you might want to calm her down.”

    Customer: “She’s my f****** daughter; I’ll do what I want! Don’t tell me how to raise my f****** kids, you white devil b****!”

    Me: “I wasn’t trying to say—”

    Customer: “I’M the customer. You pay attention to ME! GOT IT?!”

    (Gritting my teeth, I continue with the sale. When she starts to order sheets, I realize she’s going to be buying almost $50 worth.)

    Me: “If you buy one more sheet you’re over the $50 mark and you qualify for our CD deal! $89.99 for the full session, a savings of $170!”

    Customer: “I’m. Not. Interested.”

    Me: “Okay, I just wanted to make sure you didn’t want to take advantage of this awesome deal.”

    Customer: “Seriously! Give it up! You just want more of my f****** money! You think I’m stupid, b****? ‘Cause I’m not!” *mumbles under her breath* “Stupid f****** white girl.”

    (Finally the sale is coming to a close, and as I go to get up and go to the till, the customer stands up, and turns around.)

    Customer: “So, I get all those images on the CD for free, right? Because I bought more than $50 with that coupon?”

    Me: “No. I said you could get them for $89.99, which you refused three three times.”

    Customer: “LIAR! You f****** lying white racist b****! You just don’t want to give me the free stuff because I’m Native! RACIST! RACIST!” *pointing at me as she yells*

    (All the commotion has attracted the attention of the photographer in the back room, who comes out to see what the matter is.)

    Photographer: “What’s going—”

    Customer: “This f****** white girl is trying to rip me off because she’s racist!”

    Photographer: *looks at me and then back at the customer* “I somehow doubt that, but let me see if I can find you a better deal.” *gets out paper, pencil and a calculator*

    (After a few minutes the photographer concedes defeat.)

    Photographer: “The deal you’re being offered is the best deal we can offer you, so unless you want to take that deal, you won’t be getting the full CD.”

    Customer: “You’re a f****** racist, too! You’re all f****** RACISTS!”

    Photographer: “You do realize that by assuming she’s racist because she’s white, and calling her various names pertaining to the colour of her skin, YOU are in fact being the racist?”

    Customer: “Nice try! Only white people can be racist! Like the two of you!”

    Photographer: “… I’m just going to let you know that my father is African Canadian, so by all accounts, I’m not ‘white.’ That’s just the colour my skin leads more towards.”

    Customer: “Oh, um… I didn’t…”

    (Wordlessly I walk up to the till so that the customer can pay for her photos before she leaves.)

    Me: “Okay, have a nice day!”

    Customer: “F*** you, you racist s***! Just because she’s black doesn’t mean you can treat me like s***!”

    (The customer finally leaves. When she returned to pick up her photos she acted like nothing happened. Three years later, we still tell the story about her and her crazy attitude when we all need a laugh.)


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