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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Poorly Perceived

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Money, Top

    (I work at a restaurant in a very rich town, in which I also live. I am getting my hair done at a ‘posh’ salon when I see one of my regulars from the restaurant sitting in the first chair.)

    Me: “Hello Mrs. [Name]. Good to see you.”

    Customer: “Oh hel— aren’t you my waitress from the place down the road?”

    Me: “Yes, I am. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “I didn’t know people like you were allowed in a place like this.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    (At this point my stylist comes over to bring me to her station.)

    Customer: *to stylist* “Honey, did you know this girl is a waitress? Are you sure she has enough money to pay? You may want to check before you start serving her.”

    Stylist: “Ma’am, [My Name] has been a client here for two years. She’s very reliable.”

    Customer: “Oh my. What a waste of money. Poor girls like you should not be wasting their money on things like this. Don’t you have a child to care for or something of the like?”

    (At this point everyone in the salon is quite uncomfortable and is staring at the three of us.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry Mrs. [Name]. I actually only work at the restaurant because I don’t like to spend my time being unproductive. You see, I am a college student at [very prestigious college]. I am currently studying to be a biomedical engineer, which I’ll have you know is the second top grossing career currently. And since it seems to matter to you so much, I’m quite financially comfortable! And even if I were a poor waitress, as you so kindly suggested, people are free to do whatever they like with the money they work so hard for! Your husband comes in twice a week to get coffee and sit at our counter and complain about you! So really, Mrs. [Name], I’m very, very sorry for you.”

    Three Is A Magic Number

    | Louisville, OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque

    (We have a coworker who keeps getting obscene, prank calls. One day I answer the phone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *muttering* “You can f*** me.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Could you please repeat that?”

    Caller: “I said, you can F*** ME!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t do that over the phone. You’ll have to come into the store. Or perhaps you’d like to involve my husband for a threesome?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Giving Him A Good Dressing Down

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body, One-Liners

    (I am bartending. A nicely dressed couple in their 20s comes in and order drinks at the bar. They’ve been polite and quiet. The woman is on the heavier side, but still quite cute in her skirt. When the woman’s boyfriend goes to the restroom, a rowdy customer in a polo shirt, who has been obnoxious all night, approaches the bar.)

    Rowdy Customer: “Hey! Hey! I need another gin and tonic! Hey!”

    Me: “I’ll be right with you. Just let me fill this order.”

    (As I’m filling the other order, I look up and see the rowdy customer eyeing the woman. He leans onto the bar while staring at her.)

    Rowdy Customer: “Hey, you.”

    (The woman ignores him, and turns slightly away.)

    Rowdy Customer: “You know, a pig in a dress is still just a pig in a dress!”

    (At this point, I’m speechless. I see the woman’s face turn from a smile into an extremely angry frown. Before I can say anything, the woman turns towards him.)

    Woman: “Yeah, and you know, an a**hole in a polo is still just an a**hole in a polo!”

    Rowdy Customer: “I… what?”

    Me: “You can pay up and get out of here for harassing other customers. That’s what!”

    Rowdy Customer: “This is bull-s***!”

    (The rowdy customer leaves some money on the counter and storms out. I turn to the woman.)

    Me: “Hey, that was the best thing I’ve heard all night! Can I get you and your boyfriend the next round?”

    (She smiles and accepts, ordering a drink for herself and her boyfriend. Her boyfriend comes back after everything has quieted down.)

    Me: “Here’s your free round. Really, that was a great come back! It made my day!”

    Woman: “Thanks!”

    Piercing Judgments, Part 3

    | WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m a waitress at a popular tavern. We’re lucky, in that the owners and managers of the bar fully back up the staff when customers are rude to us. I have a septum piercing and two small scars on my lip from old piercings. An older couple and a few of their friends have just sat down.)

    Me: “Hey, guys! Can I get you anything to drink?”

    Customer: “Have you had those piercings in very long?”

    Me: “Oh, the nose ring I’ve had since I was in high school. I took out my lip piercings a few years ago, though.”

    Customer: “Ugh. You’d be so much prettier without all that garbage in your face.”

    (I reply with my ‘aggressive smile’ on.)

    Me: “Wow. Thank you for your completely rude and unsolicited opinion. Since my face offends you so much, feel free to order all of your beers and food up at the bar from now on.”

    (As I’m walking away to help my other tables, the customer’s wife grabs my arm quite roughly and yanks me back.)

    Customer’s Wife: “Ignore him. He just likes talking s***. Can we get some beers now?”

    Me: “I really appreciate your incredibly sincere apology. Until you can get your husband to stop ‘talking s***’ to complete strangers, especially those who are waiting on you, you might consider keeping him on a leash.”

    (One of my regulars at the next table overhears the entire exchange. He leaves me a $20 tip and a note with ‘I like your garbage face!’ written on it.)

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments, Part 2
    Piercing Judgments

    Pola-Roid Rage

    | Wasilla, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers

    (I work the returns counter at a retail store. We have a customer that comes in every couple of months and returns several packs of Polaroid film, each worth about $20. She never has a receipt and always has the same excuse that she bought too much for the occasion. We suspect she is stealing them from another store in the area, and returning them at our store. Our loss prevention team doesn’t have enough on her to deny the returns. The electronics department implements a policy that we are not allowed to return Polaroid film without a receipt if it doesn’t have one of our security tags on it. Sure enough, the customer comes back in after this policy is in place. None of the boxes she brings in have our security tags on them.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m not able to return these without a receipt.”

    Customer: “But I’ve returned these here before. Why can’t I now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They changed our return policy. We are no longer allowed to return this type of film without a receipt if it doesn’t have our security tag on it.”

    Customer: “Well, I know I bought it here. I want my money back.”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, ma’am. These do not have our security tag on them. I cannot do a return without a receipt. Could you have purchased them from [other store in the area]?”

    Customer: “NO! I bought them here. If I can’t return them here I just won’t shop here anymore!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am, but I have to follow our return policy.”

    (The customer walks off with her film, huffing as she goes. After about 10 minutes the customer’s husband storms up to my counter.)

    Customer’s Husband: “You calling my wife a thief?!”

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    Customer’s Husband: “My wife was just up here trying to return film. She said you told her she couldn’t return it because it was stolen!”

    Me: “No, sir. I explained to her that I couldn’t return the film without a receipt because they don’t have our security tags on them. Then I asked if she might have purchased them from [other store in the area]. I never accused her of stealing.”

    Customer’s Husband: *shouting* “I’ve never seen this ‘security tag’ you’re talking about. You’re lying to me!”

    (The customer’s husband storms off towards the electronics department, shouting.)

    Customer’s Husband: “I’m going to prove you’re a liar. Then I’m gonna kick your a**!”

    (I run after him to try to warn the department manager of what’s about to happen. When the husband gets into the department he starts pulling 35mm film packs off the shelf shouting.)

    Customer’s Husband: “I don’t see no security tag!”

    (He then throws the packages over the shelf. The manager of the department is now dodging packs of film as he is trying to get to the customer. I reach him first. I grab a Polaroid film pack off the shelf and show the man the security tag on the back that I have been referring to all along. The man stops mid-throw and mid-shout, looks at me for a moment and then walks away without saying a word. We never saw either of them again in our store.)

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