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    Category: Bad Behavior

    A Little Extra Goes A Long Way

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (Customers are often upset by the turnaround time we quote — up to two weeks during the busiest season. They almost always point out how easy or quick their repair should be. As we are standing within the repair area, it is easy enough to point at all the bikes all over and explain that all these people were here first. On occasion, a customer would drop this one on me:)

    Customer: “Well, how about I pay you extra, and you skip me ahead of all those people to the front of the line and you do my repair right now?”

    Me: “That sounds great, but first let me call all the people ahead of them and ask if they’d like to pay extra to keep their place in line…”

    Customer: “ALL RIGHT, fine.”

    His Logic Doesn’t Check Out

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I am working at the registers along with a head cashier shortly before closing. One of our regulars, a very old man, shuffles up to my register. I’m a little surprised, as he usually only talks to Manager, sometimes waiting for hours until Manager starts his shift.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like to buy this book.”

    Me: “Certainly! That will be [total].”

    (Customer pulls out a very old leather case with about 100 sheets of perforated checks. He slowly flips to the correct page, slowly starts to fill out a check, and then drops the whole case on the floor, scattering pages everywhere. I help him pick up.)

    Customer: “Oh, no, these need to be in order! Help me put them in order!”

    Me: “Sir, perhaps we should finish the transaction. Then you can put these back in order later.”

    Customer: *getting angry* “That is RIDICULOUS! How am I supposed to know which check to fill out?!”

    Me: “It’s the one you’ve already started filling out?”

    Customer: *muttering* “This is ridiculous. You people are SO unhelpful. I don’t even know why I shop here!”

    Head Cashier: *whispers to me* “Just do it, or we’ll never get out of here.”

    Me: “All right, sir, let’s get these back in order.”

    (Customer insists he put them back in order, very very slowly, while I hold the case. Nothing else will do. 20 minutes later, the check is finally filled out and we can continue with the transaction.)

    Me: “And can I see your driver’s license?”

    Customer: “My WHAT?!”

    Me: “Driver’s license, passport, or other state ID?”

    Customer: *getting hysterical* “What?! WHY?!”

    Head Cashier: *jumping in* “Sir, you’ve shopped here for years. You always pay by check. You KNOW you have to show us your license.”

    Customer: “THAT’S IT! I’m getting the manager!”

    (The customer storms off, and comes back with the manager.)

    Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Me: “He’s paying by check.”

    Manager: “Okay, can I see your license, sir?”

    Customer: “Sure, here you go!”

    (Customer handed over his license, the manager finished the transaction in about 30 seconds, and we ushered the man out and closed the store.)

    Will Have To Park This Service

    | Australia | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

    (The store where I work has a ridiculously tiny and awkwardly shaped car park, so on the weekend it can be difficult to find a parking spot. On one extremely hot Saturday I am working at the service desk when a customer comes through the door and pushes past all the other customers in line.)

    Customer: “I need to return this cushion.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’ll be happy to serve you, but you’ll need to join the queue.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand! I can’t wait in that line! I didn’t park my car and my baby is still inside!”

    Me: “So, you’re telling me that you’re blocking everyone else in the car park and you locked your baby inside your car, on a forty degree day?”

    Customer: “Yes, exactly! You need to serve me first!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I won’t serve you until you have parked your car correctly and brought your baby inside with you.”

    Customer: “You can’t refuse me service! I demand to talk to your supervisor!”

    Me: “That’s fine; I’ll be happy to call her for you after you park your car and bring in your baby.”

    (She swore under her breath and left in a huff. I didn’t see her again that day.)

    Damaging Your Chances

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (A husband and wife are browsing the store, with the wife wanting to buy things and the husband saying everything is too expensive. Finally she selects a figurine from our clearance rack.)

    Husband: “Wait, this is only [price]? The one over there was [bigger price]. What’s the difference?”

    Me: “This one is damaged, sir. It fell on the floor and the head broke off – you can see where I’ve glued it back on. It’s a clean break, but we can’t in good conscience sell it at the full price.”

    Husband: “So if I get the other one and break it, you’ll sell it to me for the cheaper price?”

    Me: “No, sir. I will call security because you’re intentionally damaging our merchandise.”

    (They did buy the clearance figure, but hurried out without their receipt. To my knowledge, they’ve never come back.)

    Reached The Tipping Point

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

    (We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

    Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

    Client: “I needed this separate.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

    Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

    Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

    Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

    Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

    Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

    Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

    Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

    (He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

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