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    Category: Bad Behavior

    This Method Of Customer Service Should Go Viral

    | Reno, NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working at the call center of a major bank. Usually we only handle questions regarding savings or checking accounts, but, in order to save customers time and aggravation, we are ‘encouraged’ to try to answer questions that more properly should be answered by a different department.)

    Customer: “I’m trying to log onto my account, but it just keeps asking for my username and password.”

    (I mute the call and turn to a co-worker who is monitoring the call queue.)

    Me: “How bad is the wait for online customer care?”

    Coworker: “35 minutes; it’s been climbing all night.”

    (I take the customer off mute.)

    Me: “Normally I would transfer you to online customer care, but let’s see if we can figure this out without you being on hold longer. Is your caps lock light on?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I go through all of the steps, and none of the usual errors seem to be a problem. I then recall an email that had gone around the company a few weeks before, about some malware and phishing attempts going on, and our bank is one of the targets.)

    Me: “Sir, do you know what the address bar is on your browser?”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: “Up near the top of the screen, a long thin white rectangle, with letters inside? The letters should start with ‘http’?”

    Customer: *pause* “Yes, I see it.”

    (By this time my supervisor has noticed how long the call is taking and has come over to listen in.)

    Me: “Can you read off the letters after the two slash marks?”

    (As the customer begins to read the letters, I figure out the problem.)

    Me: “Sir, that’s not our website.”

    Customer: “But it’s got your logo on it.”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It’s a website that is supposed to look like our website, in order to steal your information.”

    Customer: “But it’s your logo.”

    (This continues for several minutes until the customer finally gets it.)

    Customer: “So what can I do?”

    Me: “You need to run antivirus software to make sure it isn’t a virus or malware. If you don’t know how to do that, I would recommend you get a professional to check out your computer.”

    Customer: “Can’t you recommend the software I could use?”

    Me: “Sir, we are a bank; I can’t give you advice about which software to use.”

    Supervisor: “Send him over to online customer care.”

    Coworker: “The wait’s gone up to 75 minutes.”

    Me: “Sir, can I place you on hold for a moment?”

    (I place him on hold and turn to my supervisor.)

    Me: “You want me to get him off the line right?”

    Supervisor: “The call’s already too long.”

    Me: “You want me to do whatever it takes to get him off the line?”

    Supervisor: “Yes! Just don’t hang up on him!”

    Me: *takes the customer off hold* “Sir, I’ve just asked our technicians, and they tell me that if you don’t take the computer in to a professional, the virus could infect any children in the house, and they could wind up paralyzed for life.”

    Customer: “Oh, my god! Can I take it into [Big Name Electronics Retailer]?”

    Me: “Yes, their computer department can scan and fix your computer. They do it all the time.”

    Customer: “Oh, my god. Thank you so much! You’re the best customer service guy I’ve ever talked to!”

    Me: “I’m glad I was able to help.” *turn to my supervisor as he stares at me in horror* “Happy?”

    Hurt By His Own Hand

    | Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (We have been closed for about 15 minutes. Our store manager always stands at the door to let workers out to make sure they are safe.)

    Drunk Guy: “Hey, are you guys closed?”

    Manager: “Yes, sir, for about 15 minutes.”

    Drunk Guy: “But I need my smokes, mate.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, we have locked up the smoke shop.”

    (The drunk guy starts getting really hostile towards my manager.)

    Drunk Guy: “I need my f****** smokes.”

    Manager: “Sorry, sir, but we are closed.”

    Drunk Guy: “Well f*** you.”

    (He walked out and hit the glass with his palm and it left a massive crack. He ran off, jumped in his car, and sped away.  Luckily, one of the other customers got his number plate. What he did not realise is that he left his hand print on the glass. The police came and it turned out he had a criminal record for being drunk and disorderly. Payback is sweet.)

    Life Without Coffee Is A Scream

    , | QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a customer at a local coffee shop. There are several people in line behind me, so I order and pay and then step out of the way while the barista makes my drink.)

    Barista: “One [drink I ordered]!”

    (I didn’t think my drink would be ready so quickly given how busy they are, but nobody else steps forward, so I take it.)

    Me: “Thanks!”

    Angry Lady: “What the h***? That’s my coffee!” *to the barista* “This woman just stole my f****** coffee!”

    Me: “Oh, my gosh, was this yours?”

    Angry Lady: “Of course it’s f****** mine! F*** you! What gives you the right to take my coffee?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. I ordered the same thing, and nobody stepped up to take it so I thought it was mine.”

    Angry Lady: “F*** you! You’re just a broke [racial slur] loitering outside a coffee shop trying to steal other people’s food! You should be ashamed of yourself!”

    Barista: “Actually, ma’am, this lady ordered and paid for the same drink as you. She has already apologised for her mistake, and if you just wait a moment, I’m making her drink now and you can take that one.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry. I’d give this back but I already took a sip. If you take my drink we’ll both have what we ordered.”

    Angry Lady: “I don’t want your f****** coffee. I want mine!”

    Barista: “Ma’am, they are exactly the same, and please stop cursing. There are children here.”

    Angry Lady: “Go f*** yourself!”

    (She grabs the coffee out of my hand, flings it on the ground at my feet, throws the empty cup at the barista, and then storms off without a drink.)

    Barista: *shrugs* “Shame she chucked that coffee on the ground. I think she needs it!”

    (She finished making my drink. The angry lady was nowhere to be seen, so I took it and left. It was the best coffee I’d had all week!)

    Loud And Clear-ly Annoying

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a part time clerk assisting my manager on register during the morning rush. The next customer in line is a middle aged woman and her son who looks to be around eight.)

    Me: “Good morning. Is this all for you?”

    Boy: *yelling loudly* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    Me: “Well, thank you.”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: “Um… thank you?”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: *realizing the kid isn’t asking for me to repeat myself but giving a command* “Okay, what did you say?”

    Boy: *even louder* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    (My manager and several of the customers are looking our way, obviously annoyed with the boy. I tell the customer her total and she goes to pay.)

    Boy: “ARE YOU EVER GOING TO GET A REAL CAREER OR ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE TRASH OUT ALL YOUR LIFE?”

    (I blink and am at a total loss for words. Several other customers’ jaws drop and my manager is trying to keep from laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry! I can’t believe…”

    Boy: “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    When The Customer Gets Tough, They Have To Get Going

    | Ridgewood, NJ, USA | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

    (We close at 9 on Sunday nights. At about 8:15, a customer calls and says she has a few items to return, and will be in shortly. She shows up at 8:45 and dumps $60 worth of stuff on the service desk.)

    Customer: “You just do my return and I will grab a few things and come back here.”

    Me: “Okay, but be advised we close in 15 minutes and I am going to need your ID and signature because this is going to be over $25.”

    (I make the 15-minute closing announcement. The customer walks away, ignoring me. I ring in the return, make the 10-minute, 5-minute, and closing announcements, then go walking through the store trying to find this woman. I finally find her in the very last aisle, with a cart FULL of groceries.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we are now closed. We’ve been closed for five minutes at this point. You’re going to have to stop at the desk, sign for your refund, and head to the register because I and my cashier would like to go home.”

    Customer: “YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO. I AM THE CUSTOMER—”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can. And the laws in this county say YOU. NEED. TO. GO.”

    (She then made some ungodly noise, almost ran me over with her cart, snatched then signed the refund form, and stalked her way up to the register… all the while complaining about how rude I was because she was so important and this was the only time she had to go grocery shopping. Once she finally left, my cashier told me she said ‘that little b***h is lucky I’m not 10 years younger because I would have kicked her a** for making me leave.’)

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