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    Category: Bad Behavior

    A History Of Petty Crime

    | Montreal, QC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, History

    (I am working at the register at the time. Our clients often come after they have visited the Museum’s permanent exposition, taking a bite to eat.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! Did you enjoy your visit of the exposition?”

    Customer: “Incredible! This is my first time here and I just can’t believe how magnificent those antique items are!”

    Me: “Yes, I have gone back to the rooms many times myself. They truly are worth seeing.”

    Customer: “I really liked the [Important Historical Figure] room. My ancestors served under him, you know?”

    Me: “Glad you liked the visit, sir! Your lunch will come at [price].”

    Customer: “Sure, give me a minute…”

    (After he pays, as he puts money back into his wallet, I notice a familiar object from his belongings.)

    Me: “Sir… is this [personal object from Important Historical Figure]?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes! I wanted to show it to my mother! Her legs tire so much she had to stay here.”

    Me: “You’re aware that’s completely illegal and may get you arrested? You need to go give it back right now.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry. It’s part of my heritage! I’ll give it back after dinner!”

    (I pressed the emergency button and watched him argue that it was ‘’No big deal’ and his ‘heritage’ with about five security guards. It took the cops to convince him.)

    Gives New Meaning To ‘Can I Take Your Order’

    | PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am in line at a deli. You place your order at the front counter, they make it, call out your name, and you pick it up at the back counter. It’s lunch time, so the line’s out the door.)

    Employee: “Susan!”

    (A male customer in a business suit walks up to the counter.)

    Customer: “What’s the order?”

    Employee: “Chicken noodle soup and grilled cheese.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    Employee: “Jerry!”

    Customer: “What’s that order?”

    Employee: “Do you not remember what name your order was under?”

    Customer: “Nah, I just don’t feel like waiting in line, so I figured I’d just wait until a ham and cheese came up, and grab it.”

    It’s An Acquired Taste

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in acquisitions for a major credit card company. We’re the people you call when you want to sign up for a new credit card, or to be taken off the mailing list for pre-approved credit card offers. This day, I am listening in to help train a new employee. I’ve been explaining to her some of the things about this department before she takes any calls.)

    Me: “So, a lot of calls you get will be people wanting to be removed from the mailing list for pre-approved offers. It’s usually not a big deal, but some people make it way bigger of a deal than they need to. So, get used to a lot of yelling and verbal abuse.”

    New Employee: “Oh, well, I worked in Retention before transferring here. I had to deal with all SORTS of angry customers trying to cancel their credit cards, so I know how to diffuse angry customers.”

    (The phone rings.)

    New Employee: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card]. My name is [New Employee]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you can take me off your d*** mailing list!”

    New Employee: “Okay, I’d be happy to help you with that. First I just need—”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you people keep sending me this crap! As if I don’t have enough junk mail to deal with already!”

    New Employee: “I’m terribly sorry to hear that, but—”

    Customer: “And you f****** scam artists, always trying to swindle people with your credit scams! Probably selling my social security number to everyone you know! What if someone else had stolen my mail and filled out this offer in my name?!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but to—”

    Customer: “Do you know how much of a headache you cause me with your d*** f****** junk mail?! I oughtta sue all your a**** for everything you’re worth!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am—”

    Customer: “You haven’t heard the last of me! I’ll tell everyone I f****** know to stay away from you! All you’ve done is harass me!”

    New Employee: “Ma’am, can I—”

    Customer: “Well, F*CK YOU!” *slams down the phone, ending the call*

    Me: “Welcome to Acquisitions.”

    Justice Is Music To My Ears

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (I have been employed at this store for maybe two weeks and haven’t learned the antiquated computer system for instrument rentals yet. A customer comes in and asks for a used instrument to rent monthly. I go down into the catacombs, pick out the best quality one [as I was trained to do] and come back up after about five minutes. I input her stuff into the computer, and can’t get it to print correctly.)

    Customer: “I’m getting really tired of waiting.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, this is my first time doing a monthly contract and I’m not sure—”

    Customer: “I would have loved to have been there for your job interview. What, are you related to someone?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Customer: “I mean seriously, are you working this job to get through DeVry? Just print the d*** contract.”

    Me: “I’m trying to, ma’am, but—”

    Customer: “It took you so long to get back up from the basement because you got lost, right?”

    (She continues this tirade for the next five minutes as I keep trying – and failing – to print her contract correctly. Finally, my boss walks out of his office.)

    Boss: “Ma’am, we won’t be renting you this instrument today. You should go.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Boss: “Believe it or not, [My Name] is worth more than a clarinet, and based on how you’ve treated him, I can only imagine the horrible stuff you’d put a clarinet through. You should go.”

    Customer: “Well, if this MORON actually had two brain cells—”

    Boss: “This moron has read more books than you have sentences. Please leave.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll go, but I’m going to tell all my friends not to come here.”

    Boss: “The way you treat people? You don’t have any friends. Goodbye, and don’t come back.”

    (She storms out, as I stand flabbergasted.)

    Boss: “I’d rather close than serve customers like that.”

    (Best. Boss. EVER.)

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 6

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    ( am around five and I am at the grocery store with my dad. We are waiting in line and it is long because only a few registers are open. When we are next to be rung up a business lady defiantly walks in front of me and my dad and proceeds to unload her cart.)

    Me: “Hey, dad, that lady just budged us!”

    (To this my dad replied loudly enough for everyone around us to hear:)

    Dad: “Well, [My Name], it’s all right for her to do that because she is important. Far more important than we are. In fact, she probably works for the government and she has to cut in front of us because they need her to help save the world. So, don’t get angry that she walked in front of us like we didn’t exist because she’s way too important to the country to wait in line like a normal person. In fact, she probably doesn’t wait in line anywhere because lives could be lost if she doesn’t get her milk and eggs three minutes sooner.”

    (At this point the cashier has stopped ring her items up and everyone around us was watching. The woman turned to us, a mixture of annoyed and embarrassed.)

    Woman: “I, uh… You can go in front of me if you’d like…”

    (My dad holds up his hand.)

    Dad: “I would never, ma’am. Your time is far too important for us mere peasants to waste. You go off and keep protecting our country.”

    (She was completely red as she finished her purchase and walked out quickly.)

    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 5
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 4
    In Line And Out Of Line, Part 3

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