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    Category: Bad Behavior

    A**-hole In One

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a golf course that is situated in a residential area. I am talking to a friend of mine who owns a home on the course when a ball lands in his backyard.)

    Golfer: “Move!” *hops the fence*

    My Friend: “Hey! This is private property; get out of here!”

    Golfer: “No it isn’t; I paid good money to play on this course and I am going to play through.”

    Me: “Actually, sir, it is private property.”

    Golfer: *not listening* “Why the h*** do you put such stupid obstacles in the way? What kind of course has fences so close to the green?”

    My Friend: “It isn’t an obstacle! It’s my fence, and you are in my backyard. Now beat it before I call the police.”

    Golfer: “Shut the f*** up; you’re throwing me off my game.” *turns to me* “Shouldn’t you escort him off the course? He isn’t showing any etiquette.”

    (At this point my friend gets irritated and has gone into his house.)

    Me: “He doesn’t have to show any etiquette; he owns the property. You are the one I will be escor—”

    Golfer: “No he doesn’t! The course owns all of this; how stupid are you?”

    (My friend comes back with a bucket of golf balls, and dumps them where the golfer’s ball has landed.)

    Golfer: “What the f*** are you doing! I’ll never find my ball!”

    My Friend: “Good.”

    Golfer: “I paid good money for that ball, and you’re stealing it! I am calling the police!”

    Me: “It landed in someone’s yard. It is clearly stated in the rule book that a residential area is out of bounds, so he can do whatever he wants with it.”

    Golfer: “Shut up! What do you know? You’re just some kid!”

    Me: “Sir, please come with me. You are not welcome here anymore.”

    Golfer: “No! I can do what I want! I paid good money to—”

    My Friend: “I spend all day cleaning up after a**-holes like you that think they can do whatever they want. They rammed their carts into my fence thinking it was a personal cart stopper, and I had to finally shell out $1,500 to buy a new one because it eventually fell down completely.”

    Golfer: “I didn’t—”

    My Friend: “People like you have stolen my stuff, left their trash in my yard, even though there is a bin right there next to the tee-box. They have killed my dog, and one of you pricks had the audacity to walk into my house and use my bathroom without even so much as asking.”

    Golfer: *stuttering* “But the course owns it; I’m allowed to—”

    My Friend: “No you’re not. My property line extends another twenty feet past the fence line; you are trespassing. I own this house, this yard, and everything in them.”

    (My friend picks him up, and tosses him over the fence.)

    Golfer: “That’s assault! I am calling the police on you! I paid good money!”

    My Friend: “I don’t give a d*** how much you paid; this is private property and according to the state penal code, I can remove you just like I did.”

    Golfer: “I’ll sue! I paid good money!”

    My Friend: “Go ahead; I’ll be your lawyer.”

    (One of the owners shows up and escorts the golfer off the golf course. He is banned from playing there again. My friend now plays free for his trouble.)

    Putting The Sham Into Shampoo

    | Tinley Park, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I work at a 24-hour store as a cashier. From 7-8 am I am the only cashier on duty. A customer has just dumped two baskets FULL of travel size shampoos, conditioners, body washes, and sunscreens on the belt.)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Make sure you put everything in separate bags.”

    (I look at literally hundreds of mini bottles on the belt and my eyes bug out.)

    Me: “You mean all the shampoos in one bag, and all the conditioners in one bag?”

    Customer: “Of course! You’re not that bright are you? No wonder you get s*** shifts at a crap place like this.”

    (At this point, another customer gets in line behind her and I can see his eyes bug out at all of the items as I have to check.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am. That’s $98.74.”

    (The customer starts digging through her purse to find her wallet.)

    Customer: “I don’t have my wallet, so I don’t have my card.”

    Me: “Do you have cash or any other way to pay for the items?”

    Customer: “Do you not listen?! God you’re dumb! I don’t have anything!”

    Me: “Well, give me a moment. I have to have my manager come over and void out the order.”

    Customer: “You really should be nicer to your customers when your manager is around.”

    (My manager comes up and voids the order, all the while hearing this customer bad mouth me.)

    Other Customer In Line: “Lady, she’s just doing her job and she’s doing it rather well. I would have smacked you by now if you had talked to me that way. And if there is anyone dumb here, ma’am, it would be you who couldn’t even remember to bring your own wallet to the store with you.”

    Manager: *to the first customer* “I’ve voided the order, but I will keep all of it at customer service for you today so you can come back and get it later and not have to wait in line again.”

    (The customer gives the other customer in line behind her the finger, and huffs before leaving. My manager turns to the other customer in line.)

    Manager: “So, how big of a discount would you like today, sir?”

    Other Customer In Line: “Just my membership card thanks!” *to me* “You did good!” *grabs a chocolate bar from one of the racks* “Here, have this on me!”

    Going Off The Deep End

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I am a lifeguard at a public pool. While guarding the diving boards, I hear a loud smack from behind me. I turn to see two children who look to be about 10 or 11, standing in line for the high dive, yelling at each other.)

    Me: “Excuse me, is there a problem?”

    Boy: “YEAH! She hit me!”

    Girl: “NO! He hit me first!”

    Boy: “Nuh-uh! You hit ME first!”

    (I look and see that both children have red marks on their face, as if they were recently slapped. However, I have no way of finding out who started this fight.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but—”

    Woman In Line: “Send them to the back of the line! Punish those brats!”

    Me: *to woman* “Don’t worry, ma’am; I’ve got this situation under—”

    Boy: “You can’t send me to the back! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

    (The boy runs off in terror.)

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line! You can’t make me! I’ve been in line FOREVER!”

    Me: “I’m not going to send you to the back if the line. I just—”

    Girl: “I’m not going to the back of the line!”

    Me: “I didn’t say—”

    Girl: “I’M NOT GOING! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! I’M TELLING MY DADDY ABOUT THIS, YOU F*****!”

    (The girl stomps away to get her father. A few minutes later, a rather large and intimidating man comes up to me.)

    Man: “Look, I’m sorry for how my daughter acted. We’ve been trying to teach her some manners. Don’t worry about it.”

    (Later, I find out that the man called the lead lifeguard, and I got officially commended!)

    Have A Heart (Attack)

    | SK, Canada | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I work at a walk-in medical clinic located in a shopping center. It is about 20 minutes before closing and as a result, it’s only the doctor and I working. A man walks in complaining of chest pain, and goes into full cardiac arrest. I am in the back assisting the doctor for approximately 10 minutes as he stabilizes the patient and the paramedics arrive. Once the paramedics take over, I head for the front desk. There is a patient waiting.)

    Patient: “About d*** time! I have been waiting for five minutes!”

    Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We had a patient in full cardiac arrest and the doctor required my assistance.”

    Patient: “That’s no excuse for bad service. I shouldn’t have had to wait that long. Now, I want to see a doctor.”

    Me: “Unfortunately, the doctor will be leaving with the patient and paramedics to go to the hospital. We have to close a few minutes early.”

    Patient: “This is ridiculous. I have a sore throat and I need to see a doctor. I demand I be seen before the doctor leaves. Whoever else can wait; I am leaving on a trip tomorrow, and must be seen today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, emergencies take precedence. A heart attack beats a sore throat. You either have to come back tomorrow, or seek care elsewhere.”

    Patient: “I don’t care about your excuses! I am a busy, important person, and need to see a doctor now!”

    (I have lost all patience. I am about to throw her out, when the paramedics start wheeling out the cardiac-arrest patient on the gurney, followed by the doctor.)

    Patient: *still yelling* “There, the doctor is right there. He can see me before he takes care of that lazy guy!”

    Doctor: “Tell you what: have a heart attack right now, and I will be happy to assist you. Otherwise, get your insensitive a** out of my clinic and don’t ever come back.”

    (The customer storms out, but actually tries to come back the next day. She is refused. The man makes a full recovery and sends flowers, gift cards and thoughtful notes to both the doctor and me for the help.)

    Hard Drugs And Harder Pharmacists: The Comic

    | USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Comics, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal


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