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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Not What The Doctor Ordered

    | MO, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (In one week we are hosting a benefit dinner to set up a scholarship fund helping underprivileged kids go to summer camp. It is my job to take reservations, which have been closed for a week. I take a phone call.)

    Me: “[Business]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. This is Doctor [Name]. I would like three tickets to the dinner.”

    Me: “Well, unfortunately ticket sales closed a week ago. We had to give final numbers to the caterer and—”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m a doctor and I know the speaker. She and my daughter went to college together.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but the speaker knew when ticket sales closed and she never mentioned—”

    Customer: “But I’m a doctor! And I know the speaker!”

    Me: “Congratulations, ma’am. But we’ve turned the numbers in—”

    Customer: “You’ll just have to tell them you have three more guests. What time is the dinner? We will be coming.”

    Me: “I can’t—”

    Customer: “You will tell them. I know the speaker.”

    Me: *sigh* “I will talk to our director and see what I can do but—”

    Customer: “Good. My name is Doctor [Name] and I know the speaker.”

    (The caller proceeds to give me all of her contact information. I talk to my boss a few hours later and she reluctantly agrees to sell tickets to the woman because we ordered more meals than necessary for this exact reason. I am getting ready to call the woman back when the phone rings and I answer it.)

    Customer: “This is Doctor [Name] and you said you would talk to your— whoever it is —and make sure we get tickets. We will be coming. I know the speaker.”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes, ma’am. We have extra plates available and we have your name on the reservation list for three tickets.”

    Customer: “Good. See, this is how you treat a doctor. Now, what is my discount for knowing the speaker?”

    Me: “You don’t get a discount.”

    Customer: “Of course I do; I’m a doctor and I know the speaker.”

    Me: “Ma’am, everyone pays the same ticket price. We have everyone from doctors, engineers, nurses, janitors, and camp counselors coming to this dinner and they all reserved their seats before the deadline and are all paying the same ticket price. Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “Ugh! Fine! But I won’t give you people a dime more for whatever it is you’re doing, you hear me?”

    Me: “Yes, doctor.”

    (She was just as rude and egotistical when I met her in person, still making sure to let me know she was a doctor and more important than anyone. And she made good on her promise to not give anything to the scholarship fund for children.)

    A Cancer Of Society

    | Knoxville, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (Our store is selling stuffed toys to give to children undergoing cancer treatment. I’m on register checking out a couple.)

    Me: “Would you like to purchase one of the toys and donate it to a child?”

    (The customer reaches for one of the toys and I think I’ve made a sale. But then she puts the toy back on the counter and says:)

    Customer: “My hunch is that kids who have cancer get enough of these.”

    Her Bargaining Power Has Gone To The Dogs

    | WI, USA | Bad Behavior, Money, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a pet store that sells puppies. A very angry customer comes in to buy a Boston terrier.)

    Customer: “This place is filthy! You only have sick dogs!”

    Me: “We are very proud of our sanitation standards as well as the fact that we have not had an outbreak of a major illness in over five years.”

    Customer: “Hmph! Well, then I’m going to have to have some cosmetic surgery done on the dog because I don’t like this feature the dog has.”

    Me: “Uh, well, these are natural features, and pose no health risk.

    Customer: “I still demand the price of the puppy dropped down.

    Me: “Our prices are already very fair. Especially when everything comes with the puppy, even the microchip and the vaccinations.”

    Customer: “I demand to see the manager!”

    (The manager comes over and the situation is explained. Eventually, the customer makes an ultimatum.)

    Customer: “I will be out the door with the puppy for $800 or with nothing!”

    (It is then we all realize that the customer has not actually established what the price of the puppy actually is, which is just $600. For all her yelling and harassment of the staff, she was very nice after the manager changed the price to $800.)

    Ballooning Demands, Part 2

    | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

    (Our store closes at 7 pm on weeknights, so we lock our doors at 6:55. A customer bangs at the door at 6:58 with the promise that she needs just one thing. I let her in and tell her we’re closing the registers in two minutes. Two minutes pass and she’s not at the register.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you told me that you only needed one thing when you came in here. It’s seven and we have to shut our registers down.”

    Customer: “I know, but I forgot I also need…” *lists off a dozen items*

    Me: “There’s no way you’re going to have time to get all of that. If you want, we can gather this for you and bag it, then you can pick it up in the morning and pay.”

    Customer: “NO! It needs to be tonight! It’s an emergency.”

    Me: *sighs and realizes she’s going to be a problem* “I’ll ask one of the registers to stay open five more minutes, and then we have to shut down.”

    (Luckily, the customer is up there in three minutes with her arms full. My co-worker is checking her out when the woman says she needs to put in a balloon order for her son’s first birthday party. I hurry and grab a slip of paper to fill out with the information.)

    Customer: “Do you have any specials on your balloons?”

    Me: “No. We stopped doing specials on them months ago because of the helium shortage. We do offer balloons at a cheaper price if you buy 20 or more.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t really need 20. Can you do the order in multiple colors?”

    Me: “We can do them in as many as you like.”

    Customer: “I want them to match the theme of the party.”

    (She starts naming colors, which I write down, but she can’t decide on the blue. I go grab four different blue balloon colors.)

    Customer: “Give me the aqua, no powder blue. No, island is better. No, I’ll just go with aqua. Can I have just twelve balloons at the cheaper price?”

    Me: “I’m afraid we can’t do that. It’s in the system at a set price and I don’t have the authority.”

    Customer: “I just don’t need 20. I guess I’ll get 20, though.”

    Coworker: “I’m glad we could help you with your son’s first birthday. That’ll be [high amount].”

    (The customer hands over her card and it’s declined.)

    Customer: “Ugh, I know there’s money on that card. It just won’t go through because my check is still pending. Can you stay open just a little longer so I can run to the ATM and withdraw some money?”

    Me: “We can’t. We should have already closed over 10 minutes ago. As I suggested before, why don’t we bag this up and you can come for this in the morning when you come to get your balloons?

    Customer: “I guess so. Are you sure you can’t let me run to the ATM?”

    Me: “I’m positive, ma’am.”

    (I help to write her name and information on one of the bags, staple it shut and put it behind the main counter.)

    Customer: *as she’s walking out* “Oh, do me a favor? I don’t know if I want those balloons. Will you make sure they don’t fill them until I call?”

    Me: “… Yes, ma’am.”

    Coworker: *after the customer has left* “So we just wasted 15 minutes for her to walk out empty handed and she’s probably going to call and cancel that balloon order tomorrow.”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Related:
    Ballooning Demands

    Driven Over The Edge

    , | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

    (My mother and I are entering a parking lot with the intent to go shopping when a large blue truck turns down the wrong lane and cuts us off. Trying to be courteous, my mom hurries to park in the nearest lot to allow him through. He sits there instead.)

    Driver: “F****** b**** driver.”

    Mom: “Excuse me?”

    Driver: “Yeah, I’m talking to you. You f****** b****es need to learn how to drive. You were going way too f****** fast down that lane and you almost hit me!”

    Mom: “I most certainly did not! You cut me off.”

    Driver: “The f*** I did, you b****! You cut ME off! I ought to slam the s*** out of your car, you f***.”

    Me: *getting angry* “Hey, inbred, I dare you.”

    Driver: *noticing me* “F*** you, you ugly w****!

    (He jerks his wheel toward us like he’s about to ram us and I stand my ground.)

    Me: “What was that about running our car over?”

    Driver: “Yeah, you keep talking, w****. I’m about to get out and f*** you up!”

    Me: “Try it.”

    (He hasn’t noticed this whole time that he’s in a parking lot full of witnesses and that one of these witnesses has gone in to get the police officer who acts as lot security. He’s outside listening, silently moving up along the truck waiting for the guy to do something.)

    Driver: “B****! Keep talking, you fat f*** skank b****. Need to f****** learn the right of way.”

    Me: “Buddy, from what I see, you’re just running your lip and making a moron out of yourself. Instead of turning into a larger humiliation, maybe you should drive on and shut up.”

    Driver: “F*** YOU!”

    (The driver again jerks his wheel and almost slams into the car parked near us.)

    Driver: “I’m going to f*** your face up, you c***!”

    (He climbs out of his truck and BAM! He’s instantly against the side of his truck with his arms behind his back, because the officer grabs hold of him once he’s stepped down.)

    Cop: “That’s assault, attempted assault, we’ll slap in attempted vehicular manslaughter if you open your mouth again, and on top of that driving while intoxicated. Thank you, ladies. Have a nice day!”

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