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    Category: Bad Behavior

    A Race To Be At The Place

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

    Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

    Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

    Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

    Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

    Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

    Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

    (I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

    Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

    (Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

    Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”

    Some Returns Make You Have Kittens

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    Lady: “We’re here to give back this cat we got from you about a year ago.”

    Me: “Okay. I’m sorry for that. Can I ask why are you returning him? Are you having any problems with him?”

    Lady: “No, we just decided we like kittens but we don’t really like cats. Could we exchange him for another kitten?”

    Me: “You do understand that every kitten will grow into a cat? What will you do when the next kitten grows up?”

    Lady: “Can’t I just exchange it again?”

    Popped Off

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer walks into the store and walks over to the service desk with a cart FULL of pop.)

    Customer: “I want to return this pop. I didn’t seem to need it.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but this isn’t a brand we carry. You have to buy the pop here at our store in order to return it here.”

    Customer: “I bought them here last week! I just want my d*** money back!”

    Coworker: “Do you have a receipt?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my d*** receipt. Don’t you have it on file?”

    Coworker: “I apologize, but we don’t.”

    (The customer immediately kicks over the whole cart of 30 bottles of pop and storms away. We all stand there in shock after, but on a positive note we all got to keep the pop that he had left behind!)

    If You Behave Like Children…

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I have just finished a long and difficult transaction. I have been calmly trying to guide the customer through the transaction, but the customer has become increasingly frustrated and angry. The angry customer has just had a temper tantrum and stomped off, and I start to help the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, some people get so angry about really little things. How did you stay so calm all that time?”

    Me: “I have kids.”

    About To Get Himself Booked

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Books & Reading, Criminal/Illegal, Geeks Rule

    (We WERE a specialty bookstore but have gone the way of many others and are liquidating stock, with the only thing not discounted being rare or signed editions in a locked glass cabinet. Whilst most books are massively discounted, we also have a basket of books with minor shelf damage with a sign that states they are damaged and therefore customers are welcome to take a free one with any purchase. A customer approaches with a handful of them.)

    Customer: “I’d like a discount on these. They’re damaged.”

    Me: “Well, everything’s pretty much discounted. It doesn’t get much cheaper than $1 a book. Even so, they’re free if you purchase another item.”

    Customer: “So, all the damaged books are free?”

    Me: “Yes, if you purchase another book with them.”

    Customer: “I’ll be right back.”

    (He leaves his stack on the counter and I help other customers when I notice a cracking sound. He triumphantly returns to the counter, shoving other customers out of the way saying he was there first. I look over his shoulder to see he’s broken the latch on the rare book display to force it open as he slams a leather bound book signed by Neil Gaiman AND Terry Pratchett on the counter, cracking the hardcover.)

    Customer: “All the damaged books are free, right?”

    (You really don’t want to know what some of the other customers did…)


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