November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Bad Behavior

Faster The Phones The Slower The Service

| Ada, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(I work in a popular hardware store. The following happens as I’m dealing with a family of five or six. The mother and one of her daughters approach my register, both looking at their cell phones.)

Me: “Good afternoon! Did you find everything you needed today?”

(Both women stare at their phones; 15 seconds go by.)

Woman: “Huh?”

Me: *repeats myself*

(Another 15 seconds go by.)

Woman: “Oh, yeah, just this stuff here.”

(I proceed to ring up their merchandise.)

Me: “Okay! You’re total is [total]; would you like to use [Store] card on your purchase?”

(Neither the woman or her daughter answer me. Another 15 seconds go by.)

Woman: “What?”

Me: *repeats myself*

Woman: “Oh! They aren’t done playing yet. We have some more.”

(We wait for a few minutes while the rest of the woman’s family “plays” with some of the stuff we have set out on display so that people can test out the merchandise before they buy it. The rest of the family finally comes to the register, but no one says anything to me although I have smiled and asked what else I can get for them. They are now all on their phones and I ask repeatedly for the husband to please tell me what they need from a different department. Several more minutes follow of me asking for information, followed by silence, and then a confused “what?” As the rest of their merchandise is relayed to me between riveting bouts of cell phone induced silence, I finally complete the order. By this time I am extremely frustrated, but manage to smile and try to tell them their new total.)

Me: “Okay! Your new total is—”

Woman: “Wait! I have a coupon!”

(She proceeds to scroll frantically on her phone. When she turns it to face me, it is the store’s cell-phone app, but it is on a black screen with only a search bar showing.)

Woman: “What do I do with this? It’s for five dollars off.”

Me: *finally fed up* “Ma’am, I don’t know. Our coupons are actually sent through—”

Woman: “Oh! Never mind. Let’s just finish this up.”

Me: *unable to control my exasperation and sarcasm drips through* “Thank you!”

Woman: “Wow! You sure are in a hurry to get rid of us now, aren’t you?!”

Me: *internally screaming*

The Highs And Lows Of Retail

| Natick, MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I’m a bag girl and I’m bagging a customer’s groceries. An extremely tall man, like, 6’8″, 6’9″, comes over to me while I’m working.)

Man: “Hey, did you know you’re, like, really short?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

(I’m 4’11” and, while I’m not terribly sensitive about my height, I can’t believe he actually said this.)

Man: “Well, compared to me, you’re really short.”

Me: “And so is Stevie over there; he’s six feet. You are a rather tall person, sir. Excuse me, please, you’re blocking the bags.”

Man: *suddenly offended* “It’s so rude of you to say something like that about my height. That’s a sensitive topic for tall people.”

(The cashier is trying really hard not to laugh and the customer, who is maybe 5’2″, is staring at the man like she can’t believe this guy is for real.)

Me: “It’s rather sensitive for short people, too, and you really were incredibly impolite about MY height. Please move; I need to bag this order.”

(He stomps off in a huff and I turn to finish bagging the customer’s order.)

Customer: “Do you take tips? You deserve one after handling that man.”

Me: “I’ll take any tip that doesn’t involve drinking more milk so I can grow.”

Antisocial About The Social

| Albuquerque, NM, USA | Bad Behavior, Funny Names

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to deposit these checks.”

(I take the checks and deposit slip, but the account number isn’t coming up, and her name isn’t, either.)

Me: “I’m having trouble finding you in our system. Can you give me your social, and I can look for you that way?”

Customer: “This always happens with you! Why does this happen with only you?! I don’t know how you got this job. My social is [number].”

Me: “I found you, ma’am, but it looks like your name is hyphenated in our system, which you did not indicate on the deposit slip, and the account number you provided is incorrect. I suppose that’s why it never works when you come to me. All of the information you gave me was incorrect.”

(The customer left red-faced. Since then, she’s gone to great lengths to be polite to me.)

Cat-atonic To Your Pleas

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I’m waiting in the lobby of my vet’s office. Because I don’t own a car and either take a taxi or the bus there, I have my dog’s carrier with me, but I’ve taken him out of it. Another client comes in with a carrier, checks in, and sits down next to me. After a second, I realize she has a cat in the carrier. My dog is not friendly with cats, so I get up and move to some seats on the other end of the lobby.)

Me: *on my way to the far-away seat, big smile on my face* “You don’t smell, I promise. It’s just that my dog is aggressive towards cats, and if he realizes there’s a cat in your carrier, he will begin to act out.”

Other Client: “Nonsense, all pets can be friendly towards each other. They just have to be properly introduced. Come over here; they’ll be fine!”

Me: “Really, I’ve tried just about everything. He really dislikes cats and will try to attack them. Sometimes it’s in their genes. It’s no big deal. We’ll just sit over here and he won’t even realize you have a cat there!”

Other Client: *reaching for the door of her carrier* “Oh, come on now. I watch The Dog Whisperer. I can get them to get along.”

Me: “Please don’t! I’d feel terrible if he hurt your cat! I don’t want him to get hurt, either, if the cat needs to defend itself.”

(Despite my pleas, the other client takes her cat out of the carrier. My dog immediately hits the end of his leash, nearly foaming at the mouth. She ignores his obvious aggression and starts walking towards us, doing this stupid sing-songy “be a good doggie and make friends with the cat” while her cat sees what’s up and starts hissing and trying to get away from her to run away.)

Me: *trying to corral my dog and shove him in his own carrier* “PLEASE BACK OFF NOW! MY DOG WILL HURT YOUR CAT IF YOU FORCE THEM TOGETHER! PLEASE STOP!”

(She doesn’t stop, but I manage to get my dog back in his carrier before she reaches us. SHE HOLDS THE CAT UP TO THE MESH WINDOW OF MY DOG’S CARRIER, which I’ve situated behind my legs, persisting in her sing-songy “be a nice doggy!” while my dog tries to eat through his carrier to eat the cat.)

Receptionist: “Uh, I think you probably want to keep your cat away… Um, this doesn’t sound good.” *she runs to get some assistance*

Me: “That is enough! Get that cat away from my dog! And me, I have terrible allergies!”

Other Client: “Oh, why didn’t you just say you were allergic! I don’t want to make you miserable all day!”

(I think her cat was quite relieved that she then put it back in its carrier and took her seat across the lobby from me. But… she was willing to avoid aggravating my allergies, but not driving my dog mad, scaring the daylights out of her cat, and risking harm to both?)

Shot Himself In The Foot

| NV, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal

(I’m a cashier in a sporting goods store. All of our more expensive products – anything from firearms and ammo to football gloves and high-end sunglasses – are kept behind a counter that is separate from the registers and located right next to the manager’s office. The managers are the only ones who have the keys to the knife drawers and gun cabinets, but any employee can handle small stuff like ammo and sunglasses. Customers are NOT allowed to get their own ammo – only a store associate can grab it for them and it MUST be brought up to the registers by that associate to prevent theft.)

Me: “Hi there! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Ammo. I have a BB gun and I need the ammo for it.”

Me: “Absolutely! If you go back over there—” *points to gun counter* “—I’ll call someone over and they can help you.”

Customer: “Thanks!”

(He heads over to the counter and I intercom one of my managers to help him. As soon as I hang up the phone, a line starts up at my register, so I begin working through the line. A few minutes later, I see one of my coworkers slip behind me and set a package of BBs on my counter, with the customer following right behind them.)

Me: “Find everything all right?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m a bit upset at your manager. He barked at me while I was over there.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah, he snapped at me for going behind the counter.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Yeah, I got tired of waiting, so I went back there and grabbed them off the shelf.”

(From the time I sent him over to the counter to the time he walked back to my register, a whopping two minutes had passed, hardly a long wait for a store our size. I was honestly stunned that my head manager hadn’t killed him, or at least tackled him to the ground, for pulling a stunt like that.)

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir.” *finishes transaction* “Have a nice day.”

(Once he left, I turned to my coworker and frowned, pondering how he managed to rationalize the act of going behind the gun counter of a national sporting goods retailer and NOT think it was a bad idea.)