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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Underwear Scare

    | Duluth, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Excuse me? I need to get some underwear. I know what I want, but I can’t find it.”

    Me: “Certainly, ma’am. Can you describe the brand to me?”

    Customer: “Well, actually, I’m wearing it right now. Could you just look at it and tell me if you have it?”

    (At this point, in the middle of the sales floor, she literally UNZIPS her pants, pushes them down a little, and pulls out the tag.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am really not comfortable doing this. If you could go into a fitting room and write down the information on the tag, I would be happy to help you.”

    Customer: “No, just read the tag! It’s right here!”

    (I’m backing away, and she actually manages to CORNER me.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I would have to touch your underwear in order to do that. I’m really not comfortable with that while it’s ON YOUR BODY.”

    Customer: “I don’t see what the big deal is! REACH IN THERE AND READ THE TAG!”

    Me: *squinting and pretending to read, lying through my teeth* “You know what? I think we discontinued that brand a while back. We don’t have this anymore.”

    Customer: “Oh really? That’s a shame. I always liked this underwear.”

    Me: “Yeah, ma’am. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “Well… have you met Jesus yet?”

    Gives New Meaning To Bag Of Tricks

    | Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia | Bad Behavior, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I am near the end of a very long shift. A customer comes up so I put my closed sign up. He seems a bit unusual and smells like alcohol but I treated him like any other customer.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you today, sir?”

    Customer: “Good, thanks.”

    (My coworker comes over and tells me to make sure I check his bags at the end of the transaction. I get to the end of the transaction.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Here is your change and I just have to check your bags.”

    Customer: “Oh, sure, yeah.” *opens bag*

    Me: “Yep, that’s okay. Have a great day, sir.”

    Customer: “Yeah. Next time I will put some naughty stuff in there for you like condoms and vibrators.”

    Me: “… Okay, sir. Have a good day.”

    (He left and I told my supervisor. One of my coworkers heard me and told me he has said something like that to her before. She said he bought paw-paw ointment. She asked if he wanted a bag and he said no, that he was going to use it later while he was thinking of her. He is now banned from the store.)

    Probably Also Watched The Simple Life

    | Sanford, FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Movies & TV, Religion

    Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] calling with [Company] regarding savings on the electric bill. May I please speak with [Customer]?”

    Customer: “WE’RE AMISH! WE DON’T HAVE ELECTRICITY!”

    Me: “But you have a phone?”

    Customer: “We sometimes have phones at the end of our properties for emergencies! You’d know that if you watched Amish Mafia!”

    Me: “So, you also have a TV?”

    (*click*)

    Soldiering Through Bad Customers

    | Westminster, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Military

    (I used to work full time at a large retail clothing store. I am now in the military and when I take leave, I come back and often work a few days during a week.  A man and wife come up to the register.)

    Me: “How’s your day going? Did anyone help you find everything?”

    (I always ask because I don’t really have a quota I need to meet.)

    Husband: “Oh, it’s going. No one helped, but we found everything easily.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. Glad you found everything, though.”

    Wife: “Do you make commission?”

    Me: “Nope! But most of the employees have sales quotas they have to meet.”

    Wife: “You don’t?”

    Me: “No, I’m part time. I actually have other goals in mind.”

    (The husband half laughs at this point and looks right at me.)

    Husband: “Oh, do you actually have high dreams for yourself?”

    (His wife chuckles, so I straighten up, stop scanning things, pull out my secondary wallet carrying my military ID, with ‘specialist’ listed as the rank and my military police badge and slam it on the table.)

    Me: “Actually, I’m in the Army. I am here on leave and I can’t stand to just sit around. My family is working, so a few days each time I’m back I come here to work. I have been on details I’m not allowed to discuss and you will never learn about from the news.”

    (The husband literally looks straight down and slinks a little.)

    Me: “Not to mention while I’m doing this, I’m about a year and half into my bachelors of science in criminology. But, hey…” *I go back to scanning his items and putting away my wallet* “…it must be extremely nice for someone like you to enjoy being here so casually thanks to people like me.”

    (During the rest of the time I scan the items, neither person says a word.)

    Me: “That will be [price]. We can do any credit card or cash.”

    (The husband says nothing and simply hands me his card politely.)

    Me: “All right, here you go! Continue to enjoy the rest of your day!”

    Husband: *in a hushed voice* “Thank you…”

    Me: “You’re WELCOME. For everything.”

    (I continue with the polite tone and smiling, and then call up the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “THANK YOU!”

    (The customer shakes my hand and we talk about his time in the Marines during Vietnam. I made sure to give him the 10% military discount.)

    Adjourning A Returning

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I manage a furniture store. A regular customer is the wife of the owner of several car dealerships in our area. Over the years she has made many purchases, always custom orders from the factory, and not once had accepted the original piece. Sometimes chairs have been reordered multiple times before she would find one she found acceptable. I see her working with one of our designers. After the sale was written, I cringe when I see she has ordered a recliner in the most expensive leather we carry. I decide to develop a plan, as we would never be able to sell this chair if she returned it. On the day of delivery, I approach the drivers.)

    Me: “Bring the chair to the showroom, please.”

    Driver: “But we have this down for delivery.”

    Me: “Please, just bring it in. You’ll see.”

    (The drivers bring it in, and I take a hammer and smash the frame of the swivel base. I then hand the drivers a new swivel base.)

    Me: “Please deliver the chair with the smashed base.”

    (Of course, on delivery, the customer saw the damage and insisted on a new chair. My drivers took the chair to their truck, replaced the damaged base and brought the same chair back into the house. She accepted the chair. That was the first (of many) custom orders she never returned!)


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