• Retract The Tract
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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Literally Milked Dry

    | London, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (This is a conversation overheard between my coworker and two customers. Customer #1 is male and at the front of the queue, and has rather a large order of coffees. Customer #2 is behind him, a smaller woman who appears to be waiting impatiently. Our coffee machine on the bar is one of the typical barista-style ones with the nozzle for foaming the milk in a jug.)

    Customer #1: *to my coworker* “So, I’ll have two cappuccinos.”

    (My coworker makes them.)

    Customer #1: “And two more, please.”

    (My coworker makes them.)

    Customer #1: “And a black coffee.”

    (My coworker makes it.)

    Customer #1: “And a tea.”

    (My coworker makes it.)

    Customer #1: “And three more cappuccinos. Sorry, love.”

    (My coworker makes them. Thankfully after this, the customer decides that’s more than enough coffee for his group, and pays. Unfortunately, what with it being a very busy show, us being only a small bar, and his having ordered so many coffees, we have already run out of milk. My coworker turns to Customer #2 at this point and greets her.)

    Coworker: “Good evening. What can I get you?”

    Customer #2: “One cappuccino please.”

    (My coworker explains to her that we are currently out of milk because of the large order she just took. The look on the woman’s face turns to pure rage.)


    (The entire room stops and falls silent.)

    Customer #2: *still shouting* “I NEED MY COFFEE. WHAT KIND OF PLACE IS THIS?!”

    (My coworker is biting back the urge to retort, judging by her face. I decide to step in.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam, but my coworker just explained to you the situation. We can either make you a tea and get you some milk sachets from the lower bar, or we can send you there to get filter coffee.”

    Customer #2: *turns to me* “Oh, FORGET IT! You stupid people, not having any milk! This is ridiculous!”

    Me: “Madam, you have shouted at my coworker and me, and insulted us. I am refusing you service in this bar for the entire evening. Please leave.”

    (Customer #2 shoots me a dirty look and storms out. As she does so, a few of the patrons applaud. Customer #1 approaches the bar.)

    Customer #1: “If I had known she was going to be that nasty without coffee I would willingly have given up one of mine. Glad I didn’t have to, though!”

    (He left a £5 tip!)

    No Way To ‘Run’ A Restaurant

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

    (I am a server and it is a busy Friday night. I have about six tables, one of those being a 12-top with about four kids.)

    Me: “Hi, it’s really busy and I’d rather not run into your kid. Do you mind not letting them run around?”

    Customer: “Are you serious? You can’t just watch where you are going?”

    Me: “I’ll do my best.” *I smile and walk away*

    (10 minutes later, I’m walking through the aisle with three plates in my hand and a child runs into me and steps on my foot, leading to a large bruise and me dropping all the plates, that were for their table.)


    Me: “I am so sorry. I tried but your son ran into me. I’ll get this food remade for you right away!”

    Customer: No forget it; we are leaving! This is your fault! You’re the worst server I have ever had, almost hurting my son!”

    Making Room For Error

    | Caddo Valley, AR, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (It’s almost two am and I am about to start running the night audit when my manager, who stays on the property, calls the front desk.)

    Manager: *sounding alarmed* “There’s a guy in our room. He says he can’t find his room. Can you look him up in the computer?”

    Me: “Uh… okay.”

    (She gives me the man’s name, and I check the computer, but he is not one of our listed guests. I explain this, and she tells me that she’ll send her husband down with the errant guest. A few minutes later, the husband comes in with a man who seems disoriented and smells so strongly of alcohol that I notice it from behind the desk.)

    Customer: “…Yeah, my wife checked in, and now I can’t find my room! So I just went around and tried opening doors.”

    Me: “Oookay. What’s your wife’s name?”

    Customer: “[Name]. Or she might be under [Other Name]. I don’t know. Can you hurry up? I just want to go to sleep.”

    (The manager’s husband and I exchange looks. Both he and his wife are sick, and have work at seven in the morning. I’m surprised they didn’t just call the cops when they found a strange man in their room. After about twenty minutes, we manage to explain that there is no record of either the man or his wife checking into our hotel.)

    Customer: “Well, sh***! I know it was this hotel! Maybe she checked out and left me?”

    Me: “No, sir. Nobody’s checked out since this afternoon.”

    Customer: “What am I supposed to do now? I don’t wanna sleep in my car!”

    Manager’s Husband: “You know what? You can always rent another room tonight, and we’ll sort this out in the morning.”

    Customer: “But I don’t wanna spend any more money!”

    Manager’s Husband: *red-eyed and fed up, but still smiling* “Well, you can’t stay with us!”

    (Eventually, we persuaded him to check into a room, and he went there to sleep off his hangover. When I came in to work the next night, I found out that he disappeared without a word during the day. We figured he went to the local drinking spot, got blitzed, and ended up at the wrong hotel. We never figured out how he got into the manager’s room, though!)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 11

    | Australia | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I work as a cashier at an electronics store. A woman has just come to me for a refund but doesn’t have the card it was purchased on. Company policy dictates I must put it back on the same card.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but I can’t issue the refund without the card. What I can do however is leave it as a credit on the system, and when you come back with the correct card I would be happy to refund it to you.”

    Customer: “That is totally outrageous! I don’t have the card because I lost it when I was in hospital! I was very sick! Why can’t you just bend the rules and put it back on this card?!”

    Me: “Because, ma’am, I’m not willing to risk my job over a $30 return. I’m really sorry but you need to bring the correct card with you to get your refund.”

    (The customer glares at me and snatches her receipt off the counter.)

    Customer: “This is totally ridiculous! I’ll be finding somewhere else to shop from now on!” *storms out*

    (Fifteen minutes later, the same customer returns to my counter looking sheepish.)

    Customer: “I found the card. It was in my car.”

    Me: “Well, that’s wonderful! Let me process that return for you now.”

    (I start processing the return.)

    Me: “I’m really sorry about making you get the correct card, I know it’s a hassle but it’s important to [Company] to do things right.”

    Customer: *sighs* “Yeah, well, we have the same policy at my work but we usually just ignore it.”

    Me: “…”

    Refunder Blunder, Part 10
    Refunder Blunder, Part 9
    Refunder Blunder, Part 8

    Milking The Return Policy

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I work at a small local grocery store and our return policy is quite generous, but some people take it too far.)

    Me: “Hi, there! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, paper bags.”

    Me: “Okay. Did you find what you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *pulls out a carton of almond milk* “If my son doesn’t like this can I return it?”

    Me: “Well, unless it is unopened or there is something physically wrong with it we can’t accept a return simply because your son doesn’t like it.”

    Customer: “Why not? If I buy this and he doesn’t like the taste it’s not my fault, so I should be able to get my money back.”

    Me: “Let me get a manager for you, ma’am…”

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