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    Category: Bad Behavior

    TV Isn’t The Only Thing Un-tuned

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to tech support. How can I help?”

    (A very drunk man speaks, very slowly.)

    Man: “They were supposed to come fix it between 1 and 2 today, and never came.”

    (It’s nearly 4 pm, and while we don’t do those kind of time windows, sometimes someone gives incorrect information. So, I ask for his account information, during which I find out that he is having issues with his TV service, which is not with us.)

    Me: “Sir, who is your television service with?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    Me: “Do you have a bill from them?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    Me: “Well, who did you call for the service repair?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    (He then starts drunken rambling about his TV not working, and no one showing up between 1 and 2 pm. He then says the company name in the middle of the ramble!)

    Me: “Sir, your TV service, is it with [company]?”

    Man: “Yes, they were supposed to come fix my TV today between 1 and 2!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but you called your phone and internet company, not your cable company.”

    Man: “Oh, can you transfer me to them?”

    Me: “No, you’ll need to call them.”

    Man: “I don’t know their number.”

    Me: “Sir, look in your phone book.”

    Man: “I. Can’t. Find. One.”

    Me: “Then call 411.”

    Man: “That costs money!”

    (We loop around this for a while. I can see he calls us all the time to make us look up phone numbers for him, which the company doesn’t like. Finally it ends with him accepting this.)

    Man: “In case I don’t talk to you again this season… Have a holly, jolly Christmas / It’s the best time of the year…

    (He proceeds to sing, in drunken off key slur, the entire song of ‘have a holly jolly Christmas’. My company doesn’t allow us to disconnect calls, for any reason, so I had to listen to the whole thing!)

    Making No Concessions

    | England, UK | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work on a concession in a department store, and can’t handle any of the host store’s furniture or advise people on it. To help people realise the difference, I dress differently. I’m talking to a couple about my concessions bedroom furniture. The sir turns to a piece that isn’t mine.)

    Sir: “Tell me about that one.”

    Me: “I can’t advise you on that; it’s [Host Store]‘s product.”

    Lady: “What?”

    Me: “I’m not employed or trained to handle any of [Host Store]‘s furniture, just my own company.”

    Sir: “Stop all this talking and tell me about it.”

    Me: “I can lend you a tape measure if you want to get the measurements.”

    Sir: “Why can’t you measure it?”

    Me: “As I said, I’m not [Host Store], so I can’t do anything with their furniture.”

    Lady: “You’re wasting our time.”

    (The couple walk off, loudly complaining about my lack of service. Ten minutes later they come back to me.)

    Sir: “We’re going to be buying these things.” *points to the Host Store’s pieces*

    Me: “That’s lovely.” *I point out a host store employee* “She will be able to do it for you.”

    Sir: “Why aren’t you?”

    (I explain again why I can’t, but they won’t accept my explanation.)

    Lady: “I’ve had enough of your bloody attitude! You’re lazy and I can’t believe you’re being paid to be rude.”

    Sir: “That’s it, you’ve lost a sale!”

    (Both dramatically storm away and continue raging about how terrible I am. On the way out, they manage to wrangle the store manager and bring her over.)

    Store Manager: “Of course, she can’t sell you it; that’d be stealing. She’s from another company.”

    Sir: “…So she’s not being lazy?”

    Store Manager: “No, she’s doing her job sending you to one of my employees.” *turns to me* “Thank you for your help.”

    (The couple go on to buy the pieces, but never did apologize for their behavior.)

    Calling Them Out(age)

    | Plymouth, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the final few hours of my twelve hour shift. We have a scheduled system outage, which customers have been warned about for some time. There is a message whenever a customer dials, long before they have to select all of their options to reach us, informing them of the outage and the fact that apart from giving information, no one on the company can perform any action as there are NO computers. As a result, we get maybe one call every hour.)

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I would like to pay my son’s bill, please. He’s been cut off.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but there is nothing I can do for you this evening due to the scheduled outage. If you would like to call back tomorrow—”

    Customer: “Isn’t there someone else who can do it?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. The whole company is out at this time.”

    Customer: “What about in India?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I’ve said, the whole company is out until about midday tomorrow, as per the message—”

    Customer: “What about a manager? I need to pay this! My son’s phone has been cut off!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration, but there are no computer systems at all in the whole company. That means Plymouth, the call centres in North Tyneside, the fraud department in Bristol, and our colleagues in Mumbai.”

    Customer: “This is completely unacceptable! How am I meant to know about this? What is my son supposed to do? He is cut off! You are deliberately not helping me! I demand to speak to your manager! I—”

    Me: “You know what? I am a very good CSR. I do my job well. I am tired of having this conversation with someone who is being willfully ignorant. You have been warned about this outage for the last month, and to get to me you had to bypass at least two messages informing you of the problem. I have explained several times that the entire company is out. And you are completely right, I don’t care that your son was cut off, because you have had over a month to make this payment and it is extremely late. If you wish to avoid this situation in future I suggest you pay on time. Good night.”

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”

    Forever Unatoned

    | Richmond, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Being close to a bad part of town, we’d often get unruly kids with nothing better to do than to hang out in our store. It is usually the same group of kids, and they always happen to break something during every visit. After breaking a football game display (by cleverly playing football with it), we issue a permanent ban. The following takes place within a year. The next day…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Why won’t you let us in?”

    Manager: “You keep breaking our stuff.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “F*** you! I’ll break what I want!”

    Manager: “And that’s why we banned you. Leave. Now.”

    (A week later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Let us in! We’ll be good!”

    Manager: “Not happening.”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Fine, this place sucks! We’ll go to the other store, then you’ll be happy!”

    Manager: “Will you buy something from there?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “No.”

    Manager: “Then I don’t care where you go.”

    (A month later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey man, it’s been a month. We’ve learned our lesson. Let us in or we’ll tell our parents!”

    Manager: “We have enough video surveillance saved of you guys to press charges. You really want to let your parents know about this?”

    (They leave silently. A few months later…)

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Hey, I’m not sure if you heard, but the manager unbanned us!”

    Me: *calling their bluff* “He’s in the back, let me check.”

    (He actually had the day off. The gang runs away. Finally, a year goes by, and we haven’t seen or heard from the kids at all. When they show up, my manager is about to kick them out, when I interject.)

    Me: “Listen, I think these kids got the message that we’re serious. They haven’t bothered asking to be let in for a whole year, and here they are, politely asking to be let back in. Let’s give them a second chance!”

    Manager: “Fine, but they’re your responsibility.”

    Me: *to the kids* “Alright guys, it’s been a whole year, and I’d like to think you learned your lesson. I convinced the manager to let you in, but do anything bad again, and it’s back to being banned. Deal?”

    10-year-old Gang Leader: “Deal.” *he then drops his pants and flashes a group of adults*

    Me: “BANNED FOREVER, AGAIN!”

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