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    Category: Bad Behavior

    Disobedient Kids Can Leave You Pooped

    | ID, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (At our summer camp, we have a new shower house/bathroom building installed. With it came a septic system. The covers of the tanks are simply planks of wood. This causes some kids to walk over the short fence around the leech field, and bounce on the planks of wood. It is nearly lunch time, and I’m with some of my family and co-workers.)

    1st kid: “Woo!” *starts bouncing on plank*

    Mom: *shouting at 1st kid* “Hey! Get out of there!”

    (The wood slides around, and his leg falls into the tank.)

    1st kid: “Eww! What is that?”

    Mom: “You see that building behind you?”

    1st kid: “Yeah?”

    Mom: “That’s the bathrooms”

    1st kid: “Yuck! I just fell in poop?!?”

    Mom: “Yep.”

    1st kid: *running to clean himself off* “Eww!”

    (A short while later, a 2nd kid starts bouncing on plank.)

    Mom: *looks at 2nd kid* “Get off of that!”

    (As she turns her head around, we all hear a splash.)

    Mom: “Did he just…?”

    Younger brother: “Yep.”

    (With that, my 5’10 younger brother runs to the tanks, and pulls the kid out, with one hand.)

    2nd kid: *visibly shocked* “What was that?”

    Younger brother: *plainly* “That was poop. You need to take a shower”

    2nd kid: “Okay…” *starts heading to campsite”

    Mom: “No. You need to shower in your clothes, and then head to get new clothes, then shower again.”

    2nd kid: “Okay…”

    (After he gets in…)

    Older brother: “I bet he’s going to have a crappy day.”

    (We all look at each other, and laugh at the pun he accidentally made. We continue on with it.)

    1st coworker: “A really crappy day.”

    2nd coworker: “He’s going to be in deep doo-doo.”

    Me: “Yep. Waste deep.”

    Coworker: “No, he’s swimmin’ in da poo-l!”

    (I am signaled that I am needed elsewhere.)

    Me: “This is a crappy conversation; I’m leaving.”

    Has A (Com)Plain Agenda

    | New Zealand | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a small art house cinema. I am standing at the podium ripping tickets when an older man approaches me and immediately begins yelling at me.)

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know what’s showing? There’s no information anywhere!”

    (I point to the big red electronic sign above the counter.)

    Me: “All of the movies showing tonight are displayed up there, sir.”

    (The customer looks up and points at an abbreviated title.)

    Customer: “That useless! What’s Lord of the Ri supposed to be? How am I supposed to know what that is!?!”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we also have these printed schedules which include the full movie titles and all the times showing this week.”

    Customer: “Well, what good is that?! I want to know what the films are about and it doesn’t tell me anywhere! You seriously need to do something about this!”

    Me: “The schedules include a brief synopsis, and there are also more detailed descriptions displayed on that board over there.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s no good to me! What about the films that are coming soon?”

    Me: “There are posters all around the foyer here with that information. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    (The man launches in to a tirade about god knows what and I have work to do, so I take the opportunity to disappear through the crowd. To my dismay, I turn around a few seconds later to find him right behind me, and at this point he continues yelling.)

    Customer: “AND YOUR CARPET IS RUBBISH!”

    Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior!

    | Not Always Right | Bad Behavior, Roundups, Theme Of The Month

    Themed Giveaway Roundup: Bad Behavior! Although our January Themed Giveaway on Bad Behavior is still ongoing, here are some fantastic submissions we’ve already received. Thanks to everyone who has submitted a story–keep ‘em coming!

    1. Earmark That Sound Advice (1,193 thumbs up)
    2. I Don’t Work Here Actually Worked Here (1,130 thumbs up)
    3. Makes You Scarlett With Anger (2,232 thumbs up)
    4. Playing Games With Your Feelings (1,447 thumbs up)
    5. At Lagerheads, Part 2 (1,114 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Acting Like Wario

    | New York, NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: “Hi do you guys have any Mario games?”

    Me: “Yes of course, what system would that be for?”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Me: “What game system would you like that Mario game for, sir? We have them for the Wii, DS, and 3DS at the moment. We also might have a few used Gamecube ones.”

    Customer: “Look, my son just wants a d*** Mario game. Can’t you just give me one?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t. There are literally dozens of different Mario titles for a bunch of different systems.”

    (The customer looks up at the consoles behind me.)

    Customer: “I think he has that… uh… Playstation there.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I can’t sell you any Mario game because they don’t ma—”

    Customer: “God d*** it! I just want to buy my son a f***ing Mario game! Why is that so d*** hard?!”

    Me: “They don’t make them for Playstation.”

    Customer: “Don’t you know that the customer is always right you little s***?! I drive all this way to buy my son a Mario game, and you don’t even know what you’re talking about!”

    Me: “Unless we know what system he has, I can’t help you sir. It could be for the Wii, DS, 3DS, or the Gamecube.”

    Customer: “Oh, so now you’re refusing me service?! I’d like to speak to your supervisor you little punk!”

    (My manager has had enough at this point.)

    Manager: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m not going anywhere! I know my rights!”

    Manager: “Okay then, I’m going to call security. I recommend you leave before they arrive.”

    Customer: “I thought nerds were supposed to be smart!” *leaves*

    Wait, Don’t Hate

    | Tullamarine, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a busy day at the airport and I am working two separate car rental counters; although they are under different names, both are owned by the same company. We usually have someone else working the other counter, but because we expect the day to be slower my boss asks me to work both. The longer my line gets, the more agitated the customers are getting.)

    Customer: “I’m here to pick up my rental car, and I have a reservation.”

    (He hands me his confirmation page for the rental, and I begin creating his rental contract.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like it will be a few minutes before we have the car size you reserved clean and available for you.”

    Customer: “Oh, well that’s ridiculous! I have a reservation that I made three months ago, and you don’t have my car ready?!”

    (Although he did book in advance, I notice that the customer is actually four hours early to pick up his car.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me try to call down to our service guys and see what they are cleaning right now. We’ll get you into that car as soon as it is finished getting detailed.”

    Customer: “If they aren’t working on the size car that I have reserved, I do not want it!”

    Me: “Of course, but if it is a bigger car you will automatically get a free upgrade to that car class.”

    Customer: “If you cant get the size car that I have reserved available, then I demand a discount or I will go somewhere else!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you a discount for us not having the car class you reserved 4 hours before your actual reserved time. I apologize for the inconvenience, but the free upgrade offer still stands if you would like it.”

    Customer: “I do not want a bigger car because that is not what I reserved! If that is all you can do, give me back my confirmation page, and I will find someone else to match the rates and actually honor my reservation!”

    Me: “You are more than welcome to do that, sir, but if you decide to come back for a car, you will have to wait in line again.”

    Customer: “Oh, I won’t be back!”

    (My coworker has now arrived at my sister company’s counter, which is right next to mine. She is wearing the same uniform as me. As soon as she gets ready to help customers, half of the people in my line form one in front of her. When I finish my last customer, I look at her line and see the stubborn customer standing at the end. When my coworker begins to help the person in front of the stubborn customer, I walk into the connected back office and back out to my coworker’s counter to help.)

    Me: “I can help whoever is next.”

    (The stubborn customer looks up, at first excited for it to be his turn. However, when he makes eye contact with me, his smile falls. He looks angry and confused.)

    Customer: “Why are you at this counter now?!”

    Me: “These two companies are sister companies, so I help out when she gets a line, and vice versa.”

    Customer: *he hands me his confirmation page* “So, I’m guessing this makes it that much easier to match my rate then, huh?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (I look down and begin typing away, and when I get to the screen that shows me which vehicles are available, I can see that the car class he reserved is available. However, now there is a ‘WAIT’, as someone that has reserved the same car class has already been waiting.)

    Me: “It appears that you are right on time for your reservation, but I’m sorry, sir; there appears to be a wait on cars. If you would like to complete your contract, I can get you in line to get your car as quickly as possible.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me!?”

    Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry but I’m not. You were actually the first customer to be in line to get a car when you left my counter. Unfortunately, you are now are behind other customers that are waiting.”

    (The customer doesn’t say another word; instead, he snatches the confirmation page from my hands and proceeds to the doors of the concourse. I watch him for a minute until he gets into a taxi and takes off.)

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